to ask you to help me fix my sex life?

[NikitaReynolds]

Ok, I know IABU but I can't post on 'sex' yet. AIBU is super honest so chose to post here.

Me and DP have had sex about 6 or 7 times in the last 7/8 months. Not good. I am pregnant (planned and very lucky I got pregnant the first time and only having sex twice). Before this, I avoided sex. I was one of those crazy women who wanted a child (he wanted one too but we were waiting for a house sale to go through) and sex was really difficult for me when using a condom. It was psychological and I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy it. That probably sounds bizarre, I can't explain it. I just hated the thought of it.

House sale went through and our stress levels were reduced, DP no longer living with his mum and we bought our place together. Sex life picked up a bit and DP was excited to try for a baby. Got pregnant after sex twice and whilst my sex drive returned, I was very sick in my first trimester. Went back to no sex. Second trimester we had some potentially serious complications (still have) and we haven't had sex due to fear for our baby and anxiety (that's my reason anyway).

All of these series of events have meant we haven't had sex in a pretty long time and it's become so weird that I don't know how to fix it. I WILL talk to DP about it but am desperately in need of some advice and stories from anyone who has been through a similar sex drought (and hopefully come out ok the other side!)

Anyone?

I haven't been in your situation but I would suggest you talk to a sex therapist. (Yes, such things exist!) It's not unheard of at all for people to have psychological issues surrounding sex. (This was discussed in one of my nursing texts!) A sex therapist may be able to help you determine what's going on and what can help you. No need to be embarrassed.

@agnurse I did think about this, but think we need to try and fix it ourselves first before heading to therapy. Weird thing is I haven't even thought about it until this week. I had a moment of 'oh shit, we are in our 20s and don't have sex anymore'

Hi Op I've just come through something similar

I had DS 9 weeks ago a via CS and have only in the last week felt up to sex again between my scar healing and actually having the energy.

While pregnant I think we had sex a handful of times the last of which was in the second trimester. First trimester I was exhausted, nauseous and had constant migraines. Then as I got bigger and baby started moving around more I just went completely off it. My DH completely understood and there were other ways to keep him happy

If you're not feeling up to it that's fine, there's so much going on in pregnancy between hormones and tiredness that it's normal to loose your sexdrive! You never know could come back at any point in your pregnancy and towards the end you'll pretty much try anything to get baby out.

Don't put pressure on yourself and just be open and honest with your DP.