Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want DP to help with housework once in a while?

4 replies

Newmama111 · 08/07/2018 16:36

DP works 5 days per week and I'm on maternity, i developed PND shortly after having him and for the most part I'm slowly getting better but there are bad days too, sometimes I struggle and on days like that it would be nice to have a bit of help with housework and to not come home from the gym to the flat in a worse state than when I left it. The flat is never filthy but can get messy real quick due to the fact we have a small living area (kitchen and living area all in one room) think studio flat type of thing. I have to and do tidy daily otherwise there's no room to breath, I haven't always got the motivation but If I don't do it nobody will.

I also do all the cooking, meanwhile every spare hour DP has when he's not at work is spent on his play station. I appreciate he works but I was never so lazy when I was pregnant and working, still making sure I tidied every day.

Today is his day off and he spent time DS so I could go to the gym, the doctor reccomeded exercise to help with my depression alongside other things so I try and go when I can although its never often.

I say watched him but it was more a case of ds laying on his playmat while he played his games all afternoon.

Ive struggled a bit this past week so pushed myself to get up and be active today, I do find it helps. I got home exhausted after cycling in the heat, working out, having a swim, doing a food shop and then cycling home. I just wanted to shower and sit down for half an hour before I cook etc.

When I got home he was sat on his backside playing games, LO was asleep and the flat was even messier than when I left it, naively I thought he might have took the initiative to have a quick tidy.

Aibu to think he could have (today and more often) tidied up a little, at least taking his washing out the washing machine for example, or tidying the sofa so it wasn't a dumping ground of throws and cushions, or changing the bin like I had asked him for the third time that day. He went to get some sleep once I got back leaving me to deal with the bombsite before i cook.

I probably sound like a moaning cow but I really am sick of him doing naff around the place other than game as he lives here too and it doesn't do my PND any good having to do absolutely everything with no help (bar the rare occasion he will watch baby for a few hours so I can go and get the food shopping without the pram, or today with the gym)

He thinks gaming is his "down time" when he's not working, so aibu to want a bit of help upkeeping the flat even though I'm on leave from work right now and he isnt.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 08/07/2018 16:42

Yes YABU.

He shouldn't 'help' at all.

He should do his fair share, it's his home, his child, is food, his dirt, his rubbish, etc etc etc

Then again, I've never heard of a gamer who understands that they don't have the right to game every 'spare' hour of their life. You need 'The Chat' - calm, collected and determined to point out that you are not his mum, his servant or his inferior. Youa re supposed to be life partners... sharing all joys and responsibilities

And don't let him get away with 'But I work...'

Shoxfordian · 08/07/2018 16:42

Did he ever do any housework before you had a baby? You're obviously not unreasonable but if he's always been like this then you're naive to expect him to change.

Singlenotsingle · 08/07/2018 16:47

Go on strike. No cooking until the flat is clean and tidy. If he starves, he starves.

Newmama111 · 08/07/2018 16:50

He did 'some' housework before we had baby but never much, for example he would do the dishes sometimes and cook a couple of times a week but never bothered with mopping the floors, dusting, hoovering, keeping the bathroom and bedroom tidy etc.

Since ds was born he has been lazier than ever and games more than ever. I've never got on at him about it until now as he is a good provider but its started winding me up a lot now

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page