AIBU to ask how I can improve my relationship with my twin sister?

[Snickerdoodles]

AIBU to ask you all for your help with this situation please?

I’m in my mid-twenties and have a twin sister who I have a difficult relationship with.

I know we both love each other but we also find it difficult sometimes to tolerate each other. Also, I think both of us will do things that the other doesn’t like, so we don’t really respect each other.

I don’t think it would be helpful yet to go into the different things we do that annoy the other one, although it might be useful to if you’d like me to be more specific.

To give some background, we live in the same city and often spend time together (either just the two of us together or with other people).

We both do things that the other doesn’t like, but we both keep on doing it and our relatives are frustrated at this. Having said that, though, we also have times where we get on with each other really well.

I think a big part of the fact why we don’t always have a good relationship is because we both understand that we’re very similar but we also want to show how different we are from each other.

I wonder if counselling might be helpful. I suggested it to my sister a couple of times but she said she didn’t want to do it as ‘we’re not married’ - I think she feels that counselling is something that would normally only be helpful for married couples.

Does anyone have any advice on how I could improve my relationship with my twin please? We’re both single at the moment and don’t have any children, but I would really like to improve my relationship with her for ourselves and also so that we don’t have to worry about how our relationship will affect our future partners and children.

Thanks in advance for your help.

Bump :)

As a fellow twin, I'd suggest finding something mutual that you can enjoy together

Something that the bits you don't like don't come into play (like if one drinks or smokes and that's the one that's contentious then pick somewhere like the cinema)

Or compromise on the activities and agree to both tone it down around each other?

We both do things the other doesn’t like?

So what! you are adults and can make different choices. Meet up and do things together you both enjoy and stop obsessing. You are not obliged to be close to siblings even a twin. Spend time with friends and in your own hobbies so when you are together you have conversations.

I don’t get the frustrated relatives comment. Are they frustrated that you both keep doing things the other doesn’t like?

Think they should mind their business and you two equally mind your business about each other.