Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

breakfast woes

61 replies

tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 10:55

Ok, so need a little help here to see if I was unreasonable!
I have some friends that are moving away and to say goodbye I wanted to take them out for breakfast. I chose breakfast as it's usually quieter and I have a DC, they also have 2 DC under 3. It's a bit more manageable to go earlier. Funds are quite tight right now and breakfast is a cheaper option (I didn't tell them this- I wanted to treat them as their leaving gift).
I invited them to this, checked it was a suitable day/time and booked a table for 11am. They were happy with this. I have arranged to do stuff previously at an earlier time (eg 9/10am) but I was told it's always too much hard work to get ready that early. Fair enough.
I get a message yesterday saying they had the boiler man coming over and could we make it 11 30am and looking forward to seeing you for lunch. I messaged them letting them know it was no problem, as breakfast is served til 12.30.
Eh, with the half hour difference it's much closer to lunch but also, lunch is really quite expensive.
So of course, we get there and when the guy comes to take our order, me and DP order our breakfast and they both order off the lunch menu. Her DH ordered a £32 steak :( I didn't feel I could say anything because it would have been so awkard. I also didn't know the price of it as I hadn't looked at the lunch menu. Anyway, I paid the bill and was more than a bit upset.
The DH then shows me some photos of them in a cafe having breakfast THAT morning (So much for not being able to get out of the house early!!)
I feel like I don't want to see them again as they engineered it to suit them. AIBU?

OP posts:
steff13 · 08/07/2018 13:11

If someone said they were treating me to breakfast I would order off the breakfast menu...wouldn't you?

I wouldn't have ordered something so expensive, but I wouldn't have felt obligated to order breakfast.

Poptart4 · 08/07/2018 13:13

He was definitely a cf to order such an expensive steak.

But you shouldnt have offered to buy them a meal (breakfast or lunch doesn't matter) when you say you really couldn't afford it. You should have bought them a bottle of wine and a cheap box of chocolates as a goodbye present instead.

You dug your iwn hole here op.

Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 13:18

But you shouldnt have offered to buy them a meal (breakfast or lunch doesn't matter) when you say you really couldn't afford it. You should have bought them a bottle of wine and a cheap box of chocolates as a goodbye present instead.

That's great but you don't really know the friendship dynamics. I'm not sure how trying to be nice and being taken advantage of equates to digging my own hole.

longwayoff haha :) let me know what you come up with!

OP posts:
nervousnails · 08/07/2018 13:27

"That's great but you don't really know the friendship dynamics"

Do you mean that they are really close friends? Either way, this is a result of your miscommunication and your hoping that they will get the message. Expensive lesson learnt.

bakedlikeabun · 08/07/2018 13:37

If someone else is paying you should never order from the top end of the menu, unless you know of their extremely well off finances. It's just good manners, which your friends clearly don't have.

Summersnake · 08/07/2018 13:38

That would of been perfect for me ,as I don't get hungry till 11 am....but everyone else in my family has breakfast at 8 ,so you perhaps needed to booked an actual breakfast time..like 9 am ..sothere would of been no confusion...my family in no way could of waited to eat breakfast till 11am...and by the time your seated and ordered it's nearly lunch.....but he was a twat for ordering steak.a sandwich would of been sufficient

Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 13:40

Convo went this:
me: so, we would like to take you out for breakfast to celebrate before you go.
them: breakfast? that sounds great.
Where's the miscommunication?

OP posts:
Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 13:42

I have no problem with people eating before we got there if they can't hang on. I had cereal at 8. Breakfast was arranged at 11am to accommodate them. They can't ever get anywhere before 11 as it's too difficult for them.

OP posts:
Walkingdeadfangirl · 08/07/2018 13:43

There was a thread on here a few weeks ago where the poster was taking about Brunch as an evening buffet Confused But it doesn't really matter what you call the meal, the 'friends' obviously thought of it as the second meal of the day as they referred to it as lunch in the message.

I would also think of a meal with friends from 11:30-1:00 as the second meal of the day, no matter what anyone called it. And if they took me to a cafe/restaurant I would look at whatever menu they had available at that the time.

So obviously the restaurant thought it was lunch time. You obviously sat at the table and didn't say we are only ordering off the breakfast menu so how would they know to do that, and you didn't say anything when they ordered steak?

Whether or not they were cheeky to order a £32 steak depends on what you would normally consider expensive! I could easily imagine a good steak would be a 'treat' for many people.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 08/07/2018 13:45

“If someone said they were treating me to breakfast I would order off the breakfast menu...wouldn't you?”

Not necessarily but I would order something that was in the same price range as a breakfast on the menu. I certainly wouldn’t take the piss and order the most expensive item. Yanbu and they are rude.

Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 13:48

walkingdead

lunch and breakfast serving times overlap slightly. I get it, if someone had asked me out for breakfast. I would have ordered breakfast. If I really wanted something off another menu I would have asked. I never would have ordered something that expensive either.

OP posts:
HugeAckman · 08/07/2018 13:48

Why would you go OUT for breakfast though, if you had already been invited to eat out for breakfast by friends?

Although 11 o'clock might seem late for breakfast for some (just eat something light, earlier, as pps have suggested) it is surely an acceptable time for brunch especially if you are eating out.

I get your issue with this op - not your fault they put the time back to closer to lunch time and then took it upon themselves to let you treat them to lunch rather than the breakfast you had invited them for!

Passmethecrisps · 08/07/2018 13:51

Have people never heard of brunch?

You were taking them for brunch. They could have had some cereal/toast/fruit. Going out for breakfast then ordering the most expensive thing on the menu is dreadful behaviour. Really rude.

What a shame as that is a nice gesture

Walkingdeadfangirl · 08/07/2018 13:55

If I really wanted something off another menu I would have asked
But they didn't need to ask because you were sitting at the table passively agreeing to them ordering lunch at what they considered lunch time.

I wouldn't have ordered a £32 steak but know plenty of people to whom that would be an acceptable treat. Its just an expensive miscommunication.

Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 14:06

walkingdead I am never taking you out for breakfast/lunch/dinner- whatever you want to call it!!! haha :)
I will agree it was definitely expensive!

OP posts:
JeezYouLoon · 08/07/2018 14:43

Of course YANBU, he was/is a cheeky bastard. We had friends like this, they'd fill their boots with alcohol, steak, 3 courses etc and then split the bill until I grew wise and now no longer see them.

If someone treats me I always pick something cheap and cheerful so I'm not taking the piss. Usually I'm told off for being so daft but I have nice friends now so I don't mind.

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 08/07/2018 14:54

11.00 isn’t breakfast time though, it’s possibly brunch but still closer to dinner time. I wouldn’t want a a breakfast at that time, definitely not a second breakfast as I would have had one earlier. Saying that, the husband was a CF for sure!! I would have ordered a panini or something of equal breakfast value. No way I’d expect someone to pay that much for my meal, treat or no treat! It’s so rude, chalk it up to experience and don’t ever invite them again.

bakedlikeabun · 08/07/2018 15:04

At least they’re leaving...

bsbabas · 08/07/2018 15:07

That's why I always go to a newish wetherspoons

KurriKurri · 08/07/2018 15:15

You asked them for breakfast, specified breakfast even when they tried to sneakily change it to lunch you replied that it was breakfast.
The timings were to suit them as far as I can see. If they were able to go out for an early breakfast (which they did) then they could have arranged an earlier time with you.
They are freeloaders. It is incredibly rude to order something vey expensive from the menu - even if you were taking them for lunch that would be a cheeky order.
I'd just be glad you are rid of them. I'd be tempted to text them 'hope you enjoyed the meal, first time I've heard of a £23 steak being breakfast though, you bastard'

KurriKurri · 08/07/2018 15:20

What did the wife order - did she choose something 'breakfast' priced (like a sandwich, panini, soup or something) or did she order a diamond encrusted suckling pig as well ? (feeling quite irritated on your behalf and I don't even know these CFs)

Cheto · 08/07/2018 15:24

You're best off without them , they sound like shit friends

Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 15:31

11.00 isn’t breakfast time though, it’s possibly brunch but still closer to dinner time.
I know...I picked that time with their approval after a previous meeting anything before 11am was unacceptable for them.
Resturant opens at 10 30am they call their breakfast menu a breakfast menu. after 12 30pm, they serve lunch (I think there is like an hour overlap)

Kurri hers came to 15 quid. Not too bad. Most expensive thing on the breakfast menu is 8 quid.

I did ask them if breakfast was ok before I booked. They had an option for lunch. If he had asked me, I wouldn't have said no. It was just the brazeness of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 15:31

also Kurri it was definitely dimond encrusted. haha

OP posts:
Original poster
tryagainsardines · 08/07/2018 15:32

bsbaba good idea :)

OP posts: