WIBU to say something?

[Starlighter]

My neighbours are lovely but very noisy.

Lots of them in one house (the parents, two adult kids, one with two young kids of their own and their boyfriends, all saving to move out apparently, but have brand new cars, just bought a bastard swimming pool, etc FFS.) they’re just taking the absolute piss out of their parents. (Parents have told me they are taking advantage of them.)

Boyfriends up till gone midnight every night, chatting in the garden, loudly, and smoking weed. The daughters are up with the kids every morning at 7am and let them straight out in the garden shouting and screaming, including this morning - Sunday! No lie ins for me this morning - was the first time I’ve been able to in a long time as well, gutted.

They scream and shout all day long to each other, it’s constant. And smoke weed, which stinks.

We’ve got young kids of our own, we’re not exactly quiet. But we don’t let the kids in the garden at 7am on a weekend. We don’t let them shout and scream too early as we have elderly neighbours the other side, it’s not fair on everyone else.

But what can we actually do about this?? They are nice but I hate confrontation. How can people be so ignorant of everyone else around them??

See I'm probably in the minority but I don't think 7.00am is unreasonable for life to begin.

Also, them taking advantage of their parents is neither here nor' there. It's nothing to do with anything or anyone.

Noise at 7am on a weekend is not fair, that’s out of order.

I'd deal with the weed. Report it to 111. Social services too. Shouldnt be smoking that around kids.

111 won't be interested in your neighbour's weed habit, 101 may be but doubt they'd do anything about it. Are you on friendly terms with the adult children? I would just say 7 is too early to be out in the garden, would they mind trying to be more quiet until 8. Depends if you think they would then get defensive and be deliberately obnoxious as a result

The weed would piss me off the most. It's anti social behaviour. Seems to be widely tolerated now though :( you have my sympathy. I would move.

AjasLipstick: on a weekday, a Saturday even, yes. But screaming in your garden at 7am on a Sunday morning is very unreasonable, I think.

I may try to approach the Mum, she’s very friendly. But I would really hate to cause friction... keep hoping it’s going to get better but they’re all staying for at least 6 months apparently!

We’re having to sleep with the windows closed atm which is awful in this heat.

troodiedoo: the smell is awful. Wafts over the fence, on our washing, gets in our house. On our kids!

You're obviously in friendly enough terms that they've confided in you that the kids are taking advantage. Surely you can have a friendly conversation asking it they could ask the boyfriends not to chat so loudly late at night, as it disturbs especially in this weather while you've got windows open. And the weed smell also drifts into your home. And would they mind keeping the children quiet until a later time at weekends?
It needn't be confrontation, you're simply pointing out to them a few matters that they'd not realised.

As the parents have confided in you that they feel the adult daughters and their boyfriends are taking the piss, it sounds like they aren’t happy with the situation either, but haven’t got the balls to say anything.

Could go either way: speaking to the parents may give them a bit more confidence to address the issue, if they can point out that this is upsetting the neighbours. On the other hand, If the parents aren’t happy but the situation is continuing, it kind of looks like the younger adults aren’t going to listen to anyone.

YANBU in wanting to say something, but unfortunately it’s hard to deal with this sort of thing without a backlash... whether that’s in terms of their behaviour continuing or getting worse, or making your own property more difficult to shift. If you’re renting, it’s not such an issue, although there would still be a backlash on you in terms of the extra costs of finding and moving to another property if you can’t tolerate this any more.

On balance I think I would try speaking to the parents, and definitely address the weed issue first. I imagine they aren’t particularly thrilled that their grandkids are being raised in an environment that stinks of weed. I wonder if they realise that others will smell it on the kids at nursery, toddler groups, school...... Quite apart from the health risks!

If things don't look like they are going to change soon (the boyfriends and the neighbours adult kids moving out) then maybe try a pair of ear plugs at night, you will still be able to hear in an emergency if you need to...but it will muffle and get rid of alot of that noise,

If they are too noisy during the day try earplugs or noise cancelling headphones (you could watch the tv with them on and they will cancel out background sound)

But if you are on a good terms with the neighbours could.you not ask them to get the boyfriends and the adult kids to lower their voices a bit at night/early morning, say it's waking you up/stopping you sleeping

Its not called skunk for nothing. Vile isnt it? Ask them nicely, they're probably completely unaware that they're causing a problem to you. Good luck.

I'm probably in the minority but I don't think 7.00am is unreasonable for life to begin.

Life can begin whenever you like, but I don't think that gives you the right to decide that everyone else has to keep to the same schedule. If you want to get up early there are plenty of things you can do that don't disturb the people who want some peace and quiet in the morning.

Just because it's seen as virtuous to get up early doesn't change the fact that it's no less inconsiderate to create a disturbance early in the morning than it is late at night.

Life can begin whenever you like, but I don't think that gives you the right to decide that everyone else has to keep to the same schedule. If you want to get up early there are plenty of things you can do that don't disturb the people who want some peace and quiet in the morning

Totally agree