Worried about my dm

[stressedtiredbuthappy]

Hi my mum is 65.
Always been a bit forgetful, a bit dizzy etc.
This past month they have been 2 incidences where she literally can't remember what happened 15 minutes ago.
She claims to have been stressed and she is a very busy lady working ft with elderly parents she helps care for and grandchildren she also helps out with.
Her df has dementia as did his mother.
Aibu to be worrying at her age or what?

Has she been to see her GP? That would be my first thought. It could well be stress but equally it could be something else causing her forgetfulness.

Wow, your mum sounds lovely!

Yes, it is a reasonable age to be worried about dementia, however, she does sound like she has a lot on her plate and stress can make you forgetful.

She may also have an iron deficiency which can mimic some symptoms of dementia. A blood test and quick chat with a GP might be a good plan

Thank you for your reply. No way in hell would she go to gp, I wondered about going on her behalf.
I know they wouldn't discuss her with me but they may have some advice or could ask me about other possible symptoms?

Get her to see her GP asap. It could be TIAs - mini strokes. They can be a sign of an impending bigger stroke. She needs to seek medical help quickly, just in case.

Thank you blue.
She is lovely but not a one for doctors and when I broached the possibility of a problem I was given piece of her mind!
It's so concerning that she literally can't remember what happened such a short time ago that's got alarm bells ringing.

She def needs a proper memory assessment. My mum showed the first signs of dementia at 64 and I wish I'd pushed harder for her to get a proper diagnosis then when she could have benefited from medication. She was very good at covering things up and could pass a basic memory test for ages, but when they did the specific test (and CT scan) it was really bad.

Sparkli yes that's what happened with her father , he has vascular dementia I believe? Sorry not too sure of the facts.

Definitely encourage her to see her GP, and go with her if you can. It isn't necessarily dementia, she could be depressed or deficiency in vitamins/minerals. If it is a type of dementia, though, there may be ways of slowing its progression and support in managing it.

The GP could also spot (and treat) UTI which can cause confusion and odd behaviour - easily tackled with antibiotics.

I am a bit older than your mum and find myself doing odd things. I think that as we get older our brain can not multitask. I was caring for elderlies and GCs and found myself being forgetful quite often. I woulld put things in the wrong place , slippers in the fridge once. Today when I got to the station I got in a taxi and could not remember my sons address. I expect your mum is aware of these lapses, but feels there is not much to be done at this stage. I can only suggest taking some stress away from her and being a good listener.

I cared for my parents for 10years, I do t know how I would have coped without my Sons and my daughters. You sound lovely I am sure she is grateful to you for caring about her.

Thank you rock, as I say she has always been a bit dizzy but it's just not remembering things that happened minutes ago that has me worried.
I will broach again with her seeing the gp but I'm not confident!

Does your mum take a lot of prescription medication?

Aqua nothing except thyroxine.

I think you should do everything possible to get her to her gp. Your mum is under a lot of stress and her health must be made a priority. Good luck.

If you Google Mini mental exam there are tests you can try, such as giving her an address to remember and asking some unrelated questions then asking her for the address.

I would definitely speak to the GP if you have concerns. There are tablets than can slow the progress if it is dementia.

I think you Mum is of the generation that does not want to worry the Doctor. How would shefeel if you suggested going with her?. If you say it is to give you peace of mind would she agree? Or go just to prove you wrong,

Twice my son has made me go to the doctors. Once after a fall, when I had been walking around with a fractured shoulder for 4 days. Another time I had lost all sensation in my finger tips and had trouble dropping things. That turned out to be Carpel Tunnel. It was only the fact that he is a paramedic that made me take notice of him.

Sometimes wisdom does not come with age.

It could be something as simple as needing her thyroxine levels adjusted as well.... my memory goes to shit when I’m under active.

Yes, if she's on thyroxine she might need her dose adjusted. Or she might need other investigations. She might also be more tired or stressed than she acknowledges. When I was working full time while looking after a parent with cancer my short term memory was awful. One time I was so tired I became confused about where I was (I was at home). Lots of factors can affect memory.

So yes, do encourage your mum to go to the doctor, and if she absolutely refuses you might talk to her GP about your concerns.

If she’s on thyroxine, she’ll be supposed to be having a medication review at the doctors every year. Do you know if she’s had one recently? Maybe that might be a way in to getting her to see the GP.

Hi OP,

Vascular Dementia is not usually genetically inherited and is often caused by cerebrovascular disease and increases in severity with heart attacks, stroke etc. whereas Alzheimer's Disease has a more definite genetic component. However carers of people with dementia are more likely to develop it than non-carers and to the extent that cerebrovascular disease can run in families, then so does the risk of developing Vascular Dementia.

Is your Mum getting enough sleep? Do you think she is just very distracted or has her memory deteriorated? Has she had any heart attacks, strokes or TIAs? Were the things that she forgot significant and was she definitely paying attention at the time?

I'm a bit younger than your mum but similar circumstances.I still work,but help my DD with childcare plus have a very frail elderly mum to worry about -she still lives indepently but is refusing any help other than from me,and occasionally my brothers who are both retired and often away.I also had severe iron deficiency anaemia as a result of dreadfuly heavy periods around the peri-menopause which went undiagnosed for ages -my fault as too busy to look after myself properly.It's now sorted but believe me I had several times where I did the most unbelievably dumb things,or my mind would go completely blank and it was simply having what a friend refers to as a 'too busy brain '.Plus I'd started to have insomnia.I still have the odd bad night -like now !-and it does affect my memory and ability to cope the next day.
So yes please urge your mum to go for a check up,but try not to look at worst case scenario.She sounds to be a very busy lady,but a lucky one to have a caring DD like you.

Thank you everyone for such helpful replies. I'm going to have a chat with her today, and see what happens.

Just to add B12 deficiency has similar symptoms and often goes alongside hypothyroidism.

It could just be stress.

Friend (45) under huge stress ATM cannot remember what she is talking about halfway through her conversation let alone 15 minutes before

Lisabel no I don't think she gets enough sleep, no heart attacks or strokes either, although my dgf has had TIAs.
She forgot talking to me and arranging to meet me within 15 minutes.
I do believe she does get easily distracted, her mother can be a pain and it does stress her out.
She is supposed to be taking care of my dd 2yo overnight next week which is putting fear into me.