To think entertaining the baby isn't hard work

[FairfaxAikman]

And that I should be the one getting a lie in on weekends.

DH leaves for work at 6am. DS is breastfed so I have generally been up at 11pm, 2am and 4/5am (depending on his reflux).

Today DH had a bloody lie in.
I've done two loads of washing, ironed his shirts for the week, gutted the kitchen, tidied the living room and fed DS repeatedly. I haven't even had a shower, while he had a 20 minute one.

I asked DH to change DS's nappy and he moaned he had "done it five or six times today". I pointed out all I had done and he said he'd been entertaining DS to allow me to get all that done.
A lot of this entertaining btw involved letting DS sleep on his chest.

So surely if I'm the one pulling my weight, I should have been the one afforded a lie in?

My DH says this and I drives me mad! I work like a crazy person to catch up on jobs while he looks after the DC plays on his phone or his guitar! He took them in the garden earlier so I could sweep and mop through and didn't notice that they had dug up all of my veg patch!

Call dibs on the lie in tomorrow, that's how DH and I do it and it saves arguments. One gets Saturday and the other gets Sunday, we quite often trade and barter with it - sleep is currency in this house!

As for the housework, he should be doing his share. Once the baby is asleep there is no reason why he can't put him down in his bed and start doing some jobs.

Two days at the weekend so surely a lie in each?

If he thinks the same , does he think you're just entertaining the baby all week? Why can't you both have a lie in at the weekend, one Saturday, one on Sunday.

Yes, absolutely. He’s being an arse.

Next Sunday arrange to go out for the same period that your dh normally goes to work. Just get up and go ( to a friend to borrow her spare room for a lie-in.) Be kind & leave prepared bottles.

And either don’t iron his shirts or start making a really bad job of them

Please don't drop everything and dick off out for the length of a work day just to score cheap points. That's the route to resentment, arguments, and both of you spending a lot of time feeling shitty.

You are both adults and are in an adult relationship, you need to talk it out. Tell him that it's pissing you off, ask him why he isn't pulling his weight, tell him what you need from him/expect of him, ask him what he needs from you/expects of you and then - based on what is said - go from there.

I wish I could go out for me time but DS is a bottle refuser! 😩

Stop ironing his fucking shirts! He’s grown man ffs. He’s treating you like a housemaid and you’re letting him.
He either contributes to running the household or he can pay a cleaner. Fuck I can’t believe so many women still put up with this shit it’s 2018! When are we going to wake up and stop letting men treat us like house elves?!

My 8 month old wakes similarly to yours, and I breastfeed, so every morning she wakes before he goes to work and every weekend morning except father's day he gets up with her. His reasoning is that he has had an unbroken night's sleep and I haven't.

Also "entertaining DS so you can get it done"? Seems like he is under the impression that he deserves praise for you doing housework.

Either looking after the baby is hard work so you rightly deserve a break having done it all week, or it's easy so he won't mind looking after baby while you have a break.

So he helped by having the baby sleep on his chest?

Actually that's great. Seeing that he thinks that’s entertaining the bay, I wouod tell him thatbhe is right. Totally right.
So from now on, he is the spine to clean the kitchen, do the ironing etc whilst you (rest) entertain the baby by letting him sleep on your chest.
At least, youll be able to rest a bit, watch something on tv that YOU fancy, read a book or just daydream whilst you are supporting him doing all the cleaning.

When he comes back moaning thatnits hard work etc... then review the chores and start a proper 50/50 of the tasks. Oh and lie in for each of you with a 20mins shower for each of you two.

Why on earth are you ironing his shirts for him?

He is being an arse. How old is this baby? Because entertaining my 10 month old requires a bit more than letting her snooze on me, and I think your Oh is in for a shock.

You should have got the lie in yes!
But as for the entertaining baby... i do really appreciate it when my husband has our newborn asleep on his chest as I can get so much done. And I would consider it sort of hard because you cant really do much.... it is helpful to me for him to have her like that.

I think maybe you ought to be firmer in what you expect? And also prioritise a bit more selfishly.
Why on earth were you ironing his shirts for example, when you could have been having a shower?
Tell him when you want a lie in and dont take no for an answer and only do what is actually needed... dont be doing stuff for him!

I iron his shirts because DH is dyspraxic - lack of coordination and hot things ain't a good mix.

My attitude is I am on Mat leave therefore the house and baby is generally my job now.

I just got pissed off that he objected to changing DS on the basis he had done it already today.

I’m Dyspraxic and guess what? Fully capable of ironing a shirt.
Your full time job is caring for your child, his is being employed so you both should be sharing the housework.
How does he cope in the outside world of his Dyspraxia is so severe he can’t iron a shirt?

Do you get any lie ins?

I think one should get Saturday lay in and the other get Sunday.