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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has done it again...

89 replies

fourmileswide · 07/07/2018 13:35

Aaarghhh!! He's been shopping and come home with heaps of stuff that has today's or tomorrow's date on it.

AIBU to expect him to use his common sense and check the use-by dates when he does a food shop? I've asked him over and over and over again to check and buy whatever has the longest date, and every single time he comes home with stuff on its last legs.

Why can't he look at the date? Is it really so hard?
(and before anyone says I should feel lucky that he does the shopping at all, I usually do most of it, and yes, I have fed him out-of-date things before but he has a cast-iron stomach and it has no effect).

What can I do to change him?

OP posts:
Cadencia · 07/07/2018 13:37

My guess is that he's (consciously or otherwise) hoping that if he keeps doing this you'll eventually have to take over and do it yourself. Please don't, OP.

ltk · 07/07/2018 13:37

Is this his passive-aggressive way of getting out of doing the shopping?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 07/07/2018 13:39

Can you freeze any of it?

UnreasonablyPissedOff · 07/07/2018 13:40

Put that stuff to one side and let him eat it
Buy fresh stuff for you and any dc. Perhaps a financial hit of double shopping one week will wake him up?

Fattymcfaterson · 07/07/2018 13:40

What kinds of food though?
Meat YANBU
Veg and fruit YABU

anotherangel2 · 07/07/2018 13:42

Why should you be lucky that an adult pulls their weight in doing adult tasks?

RandomMess · 07/07/2018 13:42

He's just lazy, clearly needs more practice...

SoapOnARoap · 07/07/2018 13:43

Get him to get internet shopping

NewYearNewMe18 · 07/07/2018 13:46

I don't know what you're going to do when the law changes and sell by dates are a thing of the past.

We throw away so much good food because people go by date, which have a large margin on them. Utterly wasteful.

Stirner · 07/07/2018 13:49

It's annoying but you need to sound like you need to engage some common sense as well. Anybody with a functioning nose can tell if food is ok to eat or not, and a lot of stuff can be frozen.

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2018 13:53

Why do women put up with this sort of crap?

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 07/07/2018 13:58

Why should you feel lucky he shops? Does he eat the food? If so, he should bloody shop for it as a matter of course, just as anyone else would.

I don't know how you change him but I do know you shouldn't have to be grateful having a DH who brings food home sometimes. Maybe make a list of everything he'll need to re-buy and send him off again. And make him pay for everything that's about to go out of date.

LannieDuck · 07/07/2018 13:58

So sort out all the stuff with today/tomorrow's date on it.

If there's anything you won't be using in time, presumably it's still going to be needed? So he'll have to go out again tomorrow and re-buy it.

AdoraBell · 07/07/2018 14:02

Why is he doing the shopping OP ?

Not that I think only women should do all domestic tasks.

JennieLee · 07/07/2018 14:03

I do this quite a lot. The only problem really relates to perishable items containing animal products that need to be refrigerated but which cannot be frozen.

Meat, chicken and fish can normally go into the freezer. Most other items eg. salads are fine for a day or two after their sell-by date. It's pretty easy to tell by appearance and smell if something has gone off.

If meals have been planned for several days ahead, it will be necessary to adjust the menus in order to avoid wastage.

But I am always very happy to eat good meat/fish/patisserie/exotic veg etc - the premium range stuff - at bargain prices

charlestonchaplin · 07/07/2018 14:05

He does it because the shop staff put short-dated stuff at the front, capitalising on typical human behaviour.

Original poster
fourmileswide · 07/07/2018 14:06

It's stuff like salad and bread and I don't want to have to eat all of it today Grin

Idontbelieveinthemoon I didn't say I feel lucky he shops, and yes he does eat it, but actually he works much longer hours than I do so I generally get the shopping. What do you mean - make him pay for it? He paid for it already Confused

He's not doing it on purpose to get out of doing it, he actively volunteers - I just wish he wasn't so shit at it.

OP posts:
MouseholeCat · 07/07/2018 14:08

Do you and DH meal plan? Get him in the habit of writing out the dates you need the meat/fish for against the item on the list. I've accidentally bought stuff with a short use by before and doing that stopped me. Pretty much anything else will last past its use by anyway.

Fivelittleduckies · 07/07/2018 14:09

Why is he doing the shopping OP ?

What are you implying then??

Of course he should be doing shopping that is ridiculous that this is the part you question.

AdoraBell · 07/07/2018 14:12

Ah, so he just doesn’t think/worry about the dates on the label then? You won’t get him to change unless he gets a huge bout of food poisoning.

Bread freezes well and the salad should be okay for a day or too.

I know it’s bloody annoying though.

Original poster
fourmileswide · 07/07/2018 14:12

Why is he doing the shopping OP?

Today he did it because I was waiting at home for some workmen to arrive, and he was working this morning, so he said he would get food on the way back.

We are very democratic in this house. Whichever one of us happens to have the time and the opportunity does it. I'm just a lot better at it than him Grin

OP posts:
QuimReaper · 07/07/2018 14:12
Confused

It's never even occurred to me to check the date of things I pick up in the supermarket - I thought things that went off on the same day were usually in the clearance bit? (And I always buy those if I see them.) The only exception is that I dig to the back for the freshest salad.

Sell-by dates are usually insanely conservative.

If there's anything you won't be using in time, presumably it's still going to be needed? So he'll have to go out again tomorrow and re-buy it.

Please tell me people don't really throw food out based on the date, rather than by the look / smell of the actual product?

Fivelittleduckies · 07/07/2018 14:12

It’s all about forming habits really - if it’s not something he’s used to thinking about then he’ll keep forgetting. You probably just need to keep pointing it out until it becomes a habit for him to be checking the dates.

AdoraBell · 07/07/2018 14:13

Not implying anything Five, it was just a question.

Excited0803 · 07/07/2018 14:13

You can freeze bread. Chillies, peppers, onions and various other veg can be chopped and frozen. One "eat loads of salad" day isn't harmful. What's a bit odd is that you didn't post about his reaction. What does he think about having got a load of salad that's on its date? If he's annoyed too then he needs to just learn from this, if not why does he think it's ok?