Is there a polite way to ask new neighbours not to have loud sex at 5am?

[lilyheather1]

Or should I just give in to my childish nature and laugh loudly near the wall so they know we can hear? Ordinarily I wouldn't care so much, but I'm running a wedding today and I'm going to be shattered!

Post a ball gag through the letter box with a note on ‘for next time’.

Please hump quietly. Thank you.

You could laugh or you could say gosh i hope were not bothering you with noise the walls are paper thin and not good an insulating noise.

Leave a bottle of wine in a bottle bag on the doorstep with a ‘Welcome to your new home’ card inside. Write a ps in the card telling them that “The walls are very thin!”

That way you’re keeping it friendly but making them aware that you heard them at it.

Yell through the wall.... "Get a room" wait a moment then Yell... "Get a Different Room'

Childish responses it is!
I wonder what tomorrow morning will bring...

This note is one person’s response which I find funny.

You say "Wow, that sounded like a lot of fun you were having this morning".

I was going to add "let us know next time, and we'll come and join you", but you might have got an invitation!

Change your WiFi name to 'we can hear you having sex number X'

Love these responses! I would have just gone for coughing/laughing fairly loudly so that they realise, but forget that!

Play this against the wall

I feel your pain, our old neighbour used to have very loud sex starting at about 3am for over an hour she's the reason we bought a detached house.

I used to bang on the walls until she complained about me doing it. I wish I'd sent the note upthread instead!

No, play this

Applaud. Give them marks out of 20 and post it through the letter box.
Let them know you’ll record it next time to put on YouTube.

Ok obviously not but would be fun.

Are you sure it's the noise of loud sex at 5.00am vs the horrific discovery of what they got up to the night before?

I can certainly recall uttering some loud expletives discovering myself in a gimpmask, pink fluffy slippers and a kiss-me-quick hat the morning after. I think the banging against the headboard noises might have been me trying to untie myself.

In student accommodation I temporarily moved in my friends room for a week. She shared a bathroom with another girl who would shower with the bf every night at 10pm and you could just hear the giggling. It was damn awful, but I like the letter idea.

I have been the noisy one in this situation (accidentally): an anonymous note telling me that "the neighbourhood could hear everything (I was) getting up to in the dead of night" ensured a) I didn't leave the house for days b) closed all windows and c) remembered the exact wording thirty years later

Worse- the note was written in English and I was living somewhere it wasn't widely spoken: so they really had heard

We once moved the tv right up against the wall, and put the bit of Jurassic Park on where the dinosaur eats the cow REALLY loudly
I think they got the message

@UtterlyDesperate

Come on, spill...

People have sex at 5am

We get a 5 am wake up call most mornings and our neighbour lives alone...
Now that's grim

Sleep IS sex right?

Jeez who can be arsed with that at 5 am?

This happened to me once. Got sick of it one night and hammered on joining wall, screaming 'GO ON MY SOOOOOOOON!!!!'

Diidnt happen again.

Don't play sexy music ffs! Find a track of loud fart noises and play that. Test their mettle.