AIBU to wonder how kids 6 up manage in single sex changing rooms in Iceland?

[crunchymint]

In Iceland kids aged from 6 usually have to go in the changing room in swimming pools for their sex. So 6 year old boys in the men's changing rooms. In most places there are no family rooms.
So AIBU to wonder how boys of 6 manage in Iceland when most mothers I know in Britain would say their 6 year old boy should go into the women's changing room with their mum?

Iceland has a culture of swimming, its a national past time. Lovely hot, volcanic pools , sea, rivers. I would expect Icelandic people to be proud of their swimming from an early age

Different culture in relation to both nudity and child rearing. We are so far behind in relation to both it's astounding.

Maybe their dads take them?

No problem here in Denmark when I took my children and a friend to the swimming pool yesterday. The seven year old boy insisted that he was off to the men's changing area and sorted himself out no problem. I'm not saying that there aren't opportunists here, but generally the changing rooms are open with everybody on view and children are looked after equally by both men and women, so the men in the changing room are more likely to be looking out for the kids in this situation. I had no qualms about letting him go off as I know the layout of the changing rooms and it was busy with lots of families in both changing rooms (I could see from who was coming out of each door and the make up of visitor groups).

My only concern about having my DCs at 6 changing by themselves is how bloody long they’d take (or, alternatively, coming out having only pulled their clothes on over their wet, unshowered bodies!). But practice make perfect.

Only one page in and already the ‘hysteria’ word has come out to describe women and their fears.
I always see people throw stats around in these discussions but none of my male family members has ever sexually abused me. However, there are countless times as a child from 11 until the age of about 35 where men have grabbed, touched, commented, gawped, photographed without permission, catcalled and been sexually aggressive with me on an almost daily basis in my twenties and I’m certain I’m not alone in those experiences.

Iceland’s entire culture is different and it has one of the lowest crime rates in the world. Perhaps that helps people feel more secure.

Boys at six are dressing themselves at home so they can do it in the swimming pool changing rooms as well. We went to Iceland when my youngest was five and he just went and got changed and we met him by the communal showers before swimming. Not an issue at all, I just reminded him not to go into the pool without us.

A little girl aged 8 was raped in publicly accessible toilets (think swimming pool or similar) near my friend's house. I'm super aware now and thank goodness I only have DDs as I can keep them with me. It's less them mucking around or being incapable of changing, more predators interfering with them.

Most girls and women are assaulted by men who are known to them. However, most instances of harassment are in places where men control and dominate the spaces.

They're doing it mostly themselves in reception at school for pe so probably fine.

My D's was slow to do things like dress himself-he had 2 big sisters to help who would do it for him.
However he announced about age 6yo that he was too big to go in girls places and went on his own.
Other than occasions I was standing outside shouting "are you okay" and once when I sent a friendly dad in to check on him when he was taking a long time, it worked well.

If youre scared of paedophiles in the men's changing room, the solution isn't to simply go in to the women's, you find another solution, like changing at home and then just walking through the men's.

Can't she have a dress to change under? Or a big towel to wrap.
Yes boys at risk same as girls in male space, that's why mums keep them in female space. At some point they become too big and it's embarrassing for them and female users.

Are there.. how does that work when they are wet?

Teach them not to stare and gawp.

It's vulnerability that attracts evil doers, not youth. Teach strategy for dealing with unwanted attention.

@Missingstreetlife
They wrap a big towel/a onesie around them and go home. The BOYS that is, not the girls.

My DH is Icelandic. We often go swimming over there. I quite enjoy the fact that he has to take both boys and I can get changed in peace.

Just so you are aware they have a strict showering naked policy.

There are pool wardens who would be able to help but I would explain your worry as you go in as everyone speaks reasonably good English

Well my 4 year old can dress himself fine so I wouldn't be worried about the physical dressing, but yes if my husband wasn't with us I wouldnt be comfortable having a 6 year old out of my site for that period of time.

Iceland’s entire culture is different and it has one of the lowest crime rates in the world. Perhaps that helps people feel more secure.

I think that recent news events have shown that having a low crime rate and living in a country/area perceived as very safe doesn't count for much :-(

How they do it in Iceland is to have swimming and therefore changing for swimming as a cultural norm. Busy single sex changing rooms where anyone would challenge someone behaving inappropriately or not following the strict washing rules. Confident children and relaxed parents - less neurosis about stranger danger.
Most importantly perhaps is that the changing rooms are well staffed by people who police the washing requirements pre swim and who assist where necessary.

It’s not “hysterical” or sexist to be concerned about violence perpetrated by men who, in this specific situation probably don’t know their potential victims.

PPs make a good point that boys in the male changing areas are as much at risk as girls.

FASH84 that may be true, but there are still a significant number of sexual offences committed in changing rooms. You might be ok with that, but please don't expect other people to be.

I think in Iceland their attitude towards nudity is far healthier than ours. A friend of mine spent some time in Iceland because his boyfriend's has family ties in Icelandic, and he said that initially it was a culture shock because the changing rooms have no cubicles and you're expected to just strip in front of everyone and shower naked - but once you get over the change, it's fine. Nobody bats an eyelid about getting naked in front of your friends and other randomers.
But for that reason, I can see why they want children in the appropriate changing room asap.

Maybe their dads take them?
I've been wondering how long it would be before someone made that suggestion!

Our swimming centre has family changing rooms (one big open space with plenty of large enough cubicles to go around), separate womens changing rooms (open space, just two cubicles) and men's (no idea what that looks like).

Despite this, many parents insist on taking their boys into the women's. It absolutely drives me crackers. Eldest DD (11) had been known to see some of them off with "what are you doing in here? There's family changing next door"

Iceland is one of the 5 countries in the world with the lowest crime rate, although rape (not sure if just against women) figures are going up as they become more reported. I have lived in another of those 5 low crime countries and there you go about your daily business differently. I would have happily let my 6 year old DS go in the mens changing room as it wouldn't have entered my mind that someone was going to attack him. However, here I went into a panic when I couldn't find my DS13 in the local pool the other night. If you told an Icelander that you wouldn't send your DS6 into a male changing room in case someone hurt them they would probably be very surprised.

I think the question should be why in this country are we scared witless of sending our young DC into spaces alone and why we have a high level of crime and abuse against children.

Kids that age in Iceland walk to school by themselves.

It's a very safe country, and parents don't have the same need to watch their child constantly.