PND and partner away

[Bumblebee1990]

I have a 15 week old daughter and the last few weeks have really been struggling with what I think is post natal depression. My partner has gone away on a course for two weeks (not a compulsory course). I know he’s been looking forward to it but I’m really struggling to cope on my own and I just feel like such a bitch to say I want him to come home early and not finish the course. Any similar experiences? Or suggestions for what I should do? Thanks in advance

I'd ask him to come home. PND is awful. You need to ask for help or it'll just get worse, drive resentment and a wedge in your relationship.

I mean ask for help from your DH and from medical professionals (if you haven't).

Can anyone else keep you company? Sister, mother, friend?

Yes, ask him to come home. I've got pnd and my dh sometimes goes away with work but I'm mostly stable on meds, have support from gp etc. At this stage before you get professional help it's different. Ask your dh to come home and then book an appointment with the HV or gp.

Is it a 2 week residential ie. he’s not home in the evenings?
If he’s home morning and evening I would try and find stuff to fill your days (baby groups/hv visits/invite friends over etc). If it’s a full 2 weeks away then I’d ask him to make other arrangements or is your mum or close family around for you to stay with until the 2 weeks is up?
PND is awful and talking to your hv regardless is a must xx

I’m so sorry PND is tough. I have a 3 and a half year old and a 6 week old and when my DH is at work I sometimes just feel like crying and get so overwhelmed by it all.

I’ve found that getting out of the house at least once a day can help massively. Have you got family/friends nearby who can help out or keep you company some days? I like setting myself some (fairly simple) things to do each day so when I can tick them off I feel like I’ve done something productive.

Also make an appointment to see your GP as I’m sure they’ll be able to help.

If you’re really finding it difficult then yes, I’d ask him to come home. A course is not more important than your mental wellbeing. Looking after a new baby can be so tough and draining. My worst day came when I had to stay in all day as Sky people were coming to set up our internet but the times meant I couldn’t go out. I felt like I was trapped with a baby who wouldn’t be put down or stop screaming and a toddler who wanted constant attention. I had a meltdown to my DH when he got back from work and he was really lovely and understanding. Two weeks is a long time to go on your own with no help. Talk to your DH about how you’re feeling.

Really hope it all works out for you.

Really feel for you. At that age I phoned my husband and asked him to come home early from his Xmas party as I couldn’t cope with bedtime. Two weeks solo? YANBU