Wibu - DPS ex

[RepealRepealRepeal]

There's a lot of backstory but it's not overly relevant to this question.

DP has 2 young kids. In addition to other visitation, he gets them from 10am to 4pm on a Tuesday. His ex has started organising activities for them when they come back to her. This means that she texts every Monday evening saying that he/we can't do things because she's made plans for them after they come back to her. So over the past couple of months, he's been told not to take them to the park, swimming, the beach, McDonald's, softplay. Anything he's done the week, or weekend before, she books for the next week.

He's been going along with it, but it's starting to irritate him. So who is being unreasonable?

She is. He can do what he likes during the time he has them. She cannot rule that.

She can make her plans... she can’t dictate what he does with his kids though. If they go to the beach/zoo/soft play more than once... is that so bad?

Ignore her, or say the tickets have already been booked.

I don't understand?! Just take them out to do whatever you want!

She can't dictate what you do in DP's access time.

Don't tell her or DC your plans!

She’s being unreasonable. Ignore her

Could he have them overnight Tuesday and drop off Wed morning

Don't tell her what your plans are!

allthewaves no, contact is court ordered so set in stone. She's been very inflexible and unreliable in the past with contact, so he sticks with the court order. They also have some sort of school on Wednesdays.

The order also says that he tells her what they've done afterwards, and that she's supposed to keep him updated on what they've done during the days that she has them.

As for doing things twice, she says it would be too much for them. One because of their age and size, and the other because they're not allowed to engage in 'excessive activity'.

Clarifying, if he took them to the park last week, he'd get a text saying that he can't take them this week because she's made plans to take them to the park after. He never tells her beforehand what he's doing with them.

It's not reasonable for her to dictate like this. What's stopping him telling her that?

It's a bit of faff, but never plan to do the same thing two weeks in a row. She's only copying what you've already done, so preempt her - you know that if you take them to the park, she'll request you don't do that the following week - so plan the zoo.

Adding - she's the one being unreasonable, but it sounds like she won't be reasoned with. Do try and get DP to talk to her, because he is their parent as much as she is, and should have final say on what he does when he is in charge.

Or text her first to ask what her plans are, might throw her off form.
Or text her saying we'll be doing the park on Tuesday so please don't plan to do that because (insert her reasons).

The ex is being unreasonable, your dp has the right to choose what activities he wants to do with his kids. It sounds to me that his ex is using there age and size as an excuse to try and stop the kids from having great time with there dad and you and is jealous of this.