To not allow DC to buy what they want with their pocket money?

[JaxxiePax]

Hi,

Is it the norm to allow DC to use their pocket money as they please?

There's some things I'd much rather he didn't buy and wondered if it would be unreasonable to have some set things he can't use it on?

He's 11 if that makes a difference.

Thank you

Unless it’s illegal or completely inappropriate then I think it wokld be unfair

Surely the point is them learning not to waste their money?

I'm with 'as long as not illegal or completely inappropriate' then you let them spend as they choose.

What don't you want the DC to spend their money on?

If it was alcohol YANBU
If it's small plastic tat/squishy toys YABU

Hmm ok. Yes definitely not illegal!!

What things can't he spend it in? I don't think we can comment otherwise. If it's 18 rated games/weapons you're obviously nbu, if it's clothes/sweets/toys you don't necessarily approve of I think ywbu.

I think YABU. Unless it’s drugs, booze or porn it’s his to spend!

Buying virtual coins with real coins for a game he plays!! Such a waste!! I hate that it encourages him to play it more "as he has cool stuff he needs to try out". I also think it's bad for his personality as it becomes a bit competitive at school and I hate bragging. I've heard him first hand say "well I bought that last week and you still don't have it?" I've told him to not behave in that way but apparently they're all like it!! Hate everything about it.

I think YABU. Pocket money teaches them to save for things they want, and the value of money. If they want to waste it, then I’d use that as lesson when they asked for something else.
If you are dictating what they buy then it’s not pocket money at all, really

Yabu
Pocket money should be for things you wouldn't buy him. Why is it a waste to spend money on a game? Plenty of adults do that as well

I have this exactly argument. My DS wanted to buy v bucks. There’s no way I’m working to earn real cash to waste it on pretend cash.

Sorry, cross posted with you. I see what you mean, on account of that not being ‘real.’ Thought you meant sweets and Pokemon cards!

YABU.

You should address his bragging. its irrelevant that it’s virtual stuff. It would be the same as if he was showing off about football albums or whatever.

I don’t let my little one spend money on v bucks anymore.

He spent about £40 in a few days (it was his money) and then put a stop to it as I see it as a colossal waste of money. I get that it’s his, but I can’t stand the idea that in a few weeks this trend will pass and he will have nothing to show for it.

Naughty mum - can spend it on anything else though

I wouldn't allow my ds to buy things like this either although he is allowed to buy actual games. Anything else he wants is fair play, however we always have a discussion about it before spending and if it's a really big purchase I ask him to wait a few days before making his mind up, as often he'll see an advert for something amazing, ask to buy it, and then it's forgotten about a few days later.

There’s no difference between buying virtual coins for things in games, than there is buying extra bits and bobs for crafts, or extra Lego sets, or the sequels to books etc.

But he's getting REAL enjoyment out if playing the games yes? If he's spending too much time on them in terms of negative impact on education, friendships or if his behaviour is poor that's a parenting issue in terms of behavioural modification. That would still be happening if he weren't spending the money there.

Plenty of children & adults spend on these WITHOUT behaving obnoxiously.

If buying virtual coins brings him pleasure then why not? My DC both did it in the past but very quickly realised that they would much rather spend their money on x,y or z - which is surely the lesson that you want to teach if you give pocket money - that money only goes so far and you should spend it wisely.

I was going to say at least it isn't LOL Dolls but spending it on nothing? Nope. Not in this house.

You allow them to spend the money on what they like, but you do not top up. Once the money is gone it has gone.

He’s not spending it on nothing though.

Otherwise things like Netflix are “nothing”

YABU. Your opinion of the worth of these game add ons doesn't matter. It's his money, to spend as he chooses (within the law, obviously). But buying things that your parents disapprove of is part of what having pocket money is about. If he bought sweets with it, once he'd eaten them, he'd have nothing to 'show for it'. Game tat is just another kind of temporary pleasure.

I agree with you OP.
My boys are/were similar. One wants to spend on anything as soon as it's in his pocket - and usually on virtual gaming crapola and the other is more considered. When the eldest saw his brother being able to buy things like football shirts as soon as they were released or new trainers etc and he couldn't - he's slowly turned his attitude to money around. I do turn a blind eye to a few quid on 'rubbish' per month - as this tends to sate the 'have money must spend' thing.. and then they love having cash left to buy what they want when they want ( a new actual game or usually footie shirts / sportswear )

Our approach was that they could spend it how and where they liked. However, we would have discussions about the value of money and the worth of the purchase to you. Also, that if they spent their money on X then they wouldn't be able to afford Y. We encouraged them to save too (which often happened by accident as we were rubbish about remembering!).

Sometimes they'll make mistakes and regret a purchase but that's part and parcel of life. Some lessons do need to be learned by the mistakes we make and, in the scheme of things, this is a small one.

I’ve let him spend his money on Fortnite but warned him that we are reaching the point at which it wouldn’t be sensible to spend more - have reminded him of the money he spent on roblox which they don’t really play any more.

As I see it, it’s not more sodding Lego to trip over/dust!

For the most part I let mine spend it as they wish. It’s how they learn. If it’s a particularly expensive item (eg after Christmas or a birthday) we discuss it, but it’s ultimately their decision.