To not want hugging by people I have a professional relationship with

[ReadingRiot]

I have a management job in a lovely organisation, everyone genuinely friendly and caring. Approx 150 staff so no mean feat.

The trouble is they're huggers..... And I'm not.

Every time anyone says thank you or well done (which happens a lot ) it comes with a hug.

What's worse, every time I say thank you or well done, I'm expected to initiate a hug, I can see my staff standing there waiting for it.

I've come from a very cut and thrust industry background where people literally climbed over bodies so it's lovely to work with decent people, but....

When they come in for a hug present them with a hand to shake!

I think you just have to do it. I am not that huggy, really, but it's just expected. You can't exactly say 'no, don't hug me' without looking cold and like you think they have nits or something.

Omg I would really hate that too. I don't mind being hugged by close friends and family but anyone else is horrible. Could you just not hug them and say 'I'm not really a hugger but well done you'. If they come to hug you just go totally stiff and not hug back so they know you don't like it? I'd hate to work there.

Awful. I’d just refuse the hug situation have people no respect for others boundaries?

The trouble with going in for a handshake when someone tries to hug you is potential hand/crotch contact.

However, if you did it once and it was truly awful you might find people less keen to embrace you.

Be a trend-setter, OP, own it! I’ve worked with similarly huggy people and my catchphrase is “don’t hug the introvert”, I just don’t like it. Everyone’s always been totally fine with it. It can help to be a bit verbally OTT ‘I really appreciate the work you’ve done and working with you is an absolute pleasure’ accompanied with a warm smile and ‘but don’t hug me’ .

This hugging culture is a new phenomenon and ridiculous if you ask me. At my DD's school they had to ban it as it was taking so long for all the students to hug each other every morning. I worked in large organisations in the 80's and 90's and it just didn't exist then. I went to see a reflexologist a couple of years ago and after I paid her she hugged me! It was really embarrassing and I didn't go back.

I'm not a huggy person (ffs if my phone makes huggy buggy one more time...!) I always took a step back and said "please don't hug me,I don't like it" with a big smile if anyone lunged in with arms outstretched. People got to know and stopped. It made no difference to how I was treated at all.

I am really not huggy, not even one bit! I even do that awkward hug with family.

I got round this in my rather huggy workplace by telling everyone I was a bit of an "antisocial wanker" and (in a humorous way) asking them not to invade my personal space it was taken in very good humour and nobody was offended!

Yuck, I couldn't cope with this! Just stick your hand out to shake and then pat their shoulder with your other hand, kind of a halfway hug! I hate when men in a corporate setting shake hands and then when I do the same they sort of pull me in for a kiss (or 2!) Unless I know them extremely well I resist and pull back while vigorously shaking their hand, it's so awkward but so inappropriate!! Out of interest do all your male colleagues hug each other?

There is a fantastic video of hugging self defence. It shows how to defend yourself against various types of hug.

Oh dear. I hugged 2 students last week. One I know was appropriate, the other was awkward if I did, awkward if I didn't.

They had both been in a difficult situation (think mugging) and one was really upset and keep bursting into tears. The other was holding herself together and dealing with it really well.

I hugged the first as it felt like the right thing to do and she definitely appreciated it but then I was in the difficult position where I felt it might look like I wasn't sympathetic to the second so I gave her an awkward, half-hearted, side hug that neither of us really felt comfortable with.

But the notion of hugging my colleagues brings me out in a cold sweat. I can't imagine anything more uncomfortable.

Baby dreamer, actually, now you mention it, it's the women who hug. The men don't touch at all (men or women)

Hugging self defence video:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=uUYFcMu7F5M

I work in a huggy environment, but I know there are some people amongst us who don't like hugs and that gets respected. If they are all genuinely caring, they will care about your feelings on your personal space.

I've found my people. However, it's not colleagues, it's male customers and suppliers, very odd. I work in the defence industry and am certainly past my prime, maybe they feel sorry for me!