To feel heartbroken

[stopstalkingmee]

I don't even know what's wrong with me!

Split from exdp in February after a particularly shit year, his mental health problems led to erratic behaviour and it was emotionally really bad for me and the children. He currently only has supervised contact because of this.

He's also not allowed to contact me as he was getting drunk and sending shitty messages.

I've just found out he started seeing a new girl 4 weeks ago and she's pregnant.

I fee sick, I feel betrayed, I feel heartbroken ... yet I left him so don't have any right to feel any of this.

I feel bad for my kids who have had so much upheaval this year, and now this! I don't even want them to know about it but presume they will have to when she's further along.

Just feel so shit

You only split from him a few months ago I think it is unsurprising to feel the way you do, he has given you a really shitty time yet he seems to have been very quick to move on. He's been seeing this person for four weeks and she's already pregnant? Is the baby his?

oh op I am so sorry. firstly you must stop belittling yourself for all this. you absolutely have a right to feel however you feel. you have children with this man, you had a dream of a life together that didn't work out, and you are understandably still grieving for that, no matter what he did or how bad things got. February is no time at all ago.

I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say.

As far as I'm aware she's just found out so most likely very early.

Just so sad, I didn't leave him because I didn't live him, but I could no longer accept the erratic behaviour and the emotional impact it was having on our 3 kids, 6,4,3.

Just feel like I'm sat here doing my best to hold down a job and 3 kids , 1 with severe SEN and he's just swanned off and started a new family (new partners has 5 kids already!)

Don't know what will happen as our kids are classed as 'children in need' because of all of his behaviour so not sure if that extends to that.

I left work crying when I was told, they just think I'm mad. I just feel broken. I've never done the whole breakup thing as we had been together since I was 15.

I feel so spiteful.

He hasn't told me but someone he works with told a mutual friend.

I feel like saying my kids will never know about this new child, how will I tel my kids that they have seen their dad once in 2 months but he's now got a new baby! But I suppose they will need to know at some point.

Not sure whether they think they will be a big happy blended family of 9! My autistic son wouldn't cope with that.

Not going to lie but I've broken out the bottle of rose

They've been seeing each other 4 weeks, and she's pregnant. What did they do get pregnant on day one?

Quite possibly

oh love. it's hard isn't it. separating is one thing, but I know from experience it's not always as simple as split and done - the bonds we create together are so powerful. you must be devastated that he didn't want to work on his own behaviour enough for you and your dc.

however, he has shown you who he is now, even losing his family wasn't enough for him to address his issues. so you know now that he isn't right for you - I know it hurts. I have been separated from my h for over a year now and the sadness still kills me. I still cry at work - I did today in fact! o maybe I am not the best placed person to guide you through this. but I do understand. do you have someone who can give you a big cuddle? where are your dc atm?

can you be kind to yourself? don't struggle through the weekend. stick some films on or whatever thing you do when you're not feeling 100% and need to do low impact parenting. eat poorly comfort food. let a rl friend know you are feeling shite. don't tell yourself that they don't want to hear it - they do, they will. x

Low maintenance parenting isn't really a thing for me,
Our son is severely autistic and needs contestant supervision.

Just feel shit that he's change for her but not for our 10 years and 3 children. I don't even want to tell my friends and family because I feel embarrassed which is stupid.

Like I'm sat here like a mug doing everything while he's out there getting some random person pregnant not giving a shit about us.

I feel sick

ahhh chuck, how are you doing now?

"Just feel shit that he's change for her but not for our 10 years and 3 children"

this is a bit of a leap. he's impregnated her which is easily done - he hasn't had to actually step up and do anything or change who he is has he? it sounds like he's just gone off to continue making the same mistakes all over again.

now, I've been thinking about you, and I think it's good news for you, I know it's heartbreaking stuff and you feel sad and grievy but this man has treated you appallingly and you really will be better off without him, although you don't feel like that now. this will pan out one of two ways: either he does as above, and just carries on being shit, in which case you know that the split is the right thing for you, although your life will be hard (but easier than carrying someone who's not pulling their weight) OR this truly is the start of a new chapter for him and he somehow gets his shit together and finds out what being a dad is all about, in which case, it won't be long before he is able to get himself to a point where he can have unsupervised contact with your children again - that's what a wonderful dad would do right? that means you'll get a bit of a break and time to yourself.

now, unlikely as the second scenario is, come on op, you win either way. you can do this. heartbreak doesn't last forever, get your chin up.