AIBU - to think my mother should butt out of my life?

[gemmiegoatlegs]

I want honest opinions, not just tea and sympathy as I'm having trouble seeing another point of view on this.

My mother is long-since divorced from my dad, has a busy professional job and lives on her own. On a weekend she turns up at my house and stays all day sat, goes home sat night (sometimes v late) and comes back to stay all day sunday. She says she wants to spend time with the kids but honestly doesn't let them get a word in edgeways. The kids play up all the time she is here as they are fighting with her for my attention. She comments on absolutely everything: my in laws who "couldn't give a shit" (her words, not mine, my dh shouting at our dcs when they are naughty, the dcs behaviour, the smell of my washing, everything....!

She is driving me berzerk and i feel like such a bad mother when she is here. The dynamic of our relationship has become truly bizarre. I really dread her visits and have started having fantasies of moving out of town!
SO AIBU?

[helenhismadwife]

I get on well with both my mum and mil but could not stand to have either of them over all weekend every weekend. Your home is not your own, somehow you have to get her to get something to do, is there something she is interested in/good at that you could perhaps buy her as a birthday present. I mean something like a weekend cooking, or painting course where they go and stay somewhere, or a weekend holiday she could meet someone with similar interests as her. I am not being sarcastic but Saga is aimed at over 50's maybe there website will have some ideas for a single lady over 50, as suggesting stuff to her hasnt worked if you give it to her as a gift then its harder for her to turn down iyswim