AIBU to want another child?

[MarieeBarone]

Husband and I have 1 DC. 6 years old. I want another - have done for 2 years or so and husband says he doesn't.
My reason for wanting another is that I come from a big family and I couldn't be without my siblings in adult life and my DC asks rather frequently when I will have a baby in my tummy, when will they have a little brother/sister like so-and-so at school and has asked if any new babies born into the family or friendship circle are a little brother/sister etc. etc.
My husband's reasoning for not wanting another is that I had PND after our first and our relationship took a real bashing. Not knowing why I was feeling that way and not getting help until 9 months after DC was born didn't help. I had a troublesome 2 day labour, DC was 4 weeks early, which I think freaked him out and he doesn't talk to his one and only brother (but this has only been in adulthood - he had him growing up). He also says that it would be too expensive to have another - I'm not sure how he's come to this conclusion as I do all the financing.
I do not feel done on the family front yet, I am in my very early 30's, as is DH. We live in a house big enough for a second and we would be able to afford for me to have a bit of maternity leave and have friends and family lined up to help alongside paid for childcare for me to go back to work (just under full time).
I guess my question is WWYD in this situation? Try and get over the longing of a truly yearned for baby (how??) or persuade DH to have one last bubby (how??)

Lorelai congratulations on your new baby. I am so sorry you're being hit with PND second time round. It's not fair at all. Thank you so much for your advice - it's a good point and something I need to truly ask myself. Right now I feel like I am prepared to go through it again but I was quite unwell with the first.

I have to say everyone has been very honest and kind. I was worried I was going to be bashed a bit!

DH and I have 2 adopted DDs, now 9 and 6, who are full birth siblings. Their birth mum had another baby, a boy, 3 years ago. My DH had been getting rid of all our baby equipment so I knew he wasn't expecting any more DC. But I wanted to apply, as it would have been an opportunity to have a small baby, our DDs came to us aged 1 after being in foster care.

SS turned us down because of the issues that were coming to light with DD1, which have escalated since then. It was the right decision.

But it still hurt. DH has since told me that he never really wanted another child anyway. It would have been so much better if he'd said so in the first place (although I should have realised it myself). But it would have been better if he had spoken up and not let me become emotionally invested.

I'm happy now, 3 years on, as I would be potty training now, a process I'm very glad I won't be going through again!

So what I would say is, it's good that your OH has been honest about this. You just have to decide whether you're happy to accept what he's said. If the relationship is right for you, don't just throw it away, because you may well end up with no relationship and no second child.

But then, maybe he is just worried about you and you can talk through together what you both really want.

@MarieeBarone it does take a while. Good luck with the talk.

Hi Lizzie48 I'm glad he's being honest right now too. There's been quite a bit of flip flopping on his part so I know he's torn in some ways. I'm glad you got your 2 babies and everything worked out right for you in the end! x