MIL and Facebook!

[Starlive22]

As a bit of background, when DD was born MIL put lots of pics on FB, I mean lots. Me and DH have expressed that we don't want pics on FB of DD (although I did put 1 pic on myself on Father's Day but only the back of her head can be seen).

We told them not to and they agreed, begrudgingly, and told us they were ruining all their fun.

They have been on holiday in Spain Thai week. I assume they went out and got drunk last night as I woke up to find my MIL had put on of those bloody 'memories of spring' things on, a collage set to music with over 40 pics of DD, me in hospital (some of me asleep just after coming from from an EMCS!)

So I've sent her a message asking her to take them down, which she has done so I appreciate that, but no sorry or other kind of acknowledgment. It had already had over 200 views before it got took down.

AIBU to think that this was crossing the line? I know she thinks I'm weird anyway, she makes fun of me for being a vegan and for being teetotal, she often says myself and DH are weird and that not wanting your every moment displayed on FB is also 'weird' but to me this is different.

If the video was one of those Facebook created ones then the pictures would be ones she has already posted

Agree with others, it sounds like she has been posting photos but you can set visibility to "everyone except..." and choose people who will not be able to see it.

The best part is that they actually don't visit very often and it's almost like they are using my DD for Facebook popularity without even bothering to bloody see her!

Seriously @Starlive22 this describes my father exactly! And he also thinks I'm weird for being a vegetarian, breastfeeding etc. We should put your MIL and my father in a room together and they can just agree on everything.

@NordicNobody lol same here with the bf - perhaps they all need their heads banging together!

Aww @Starlive22 I feel your pain!
The main issue I'm having at the minute is the veganism. Any tips on how you cope would be highly appreciated!

I'd refuse to share any photos until she takes you seriously and if she's anything like mine, she'll just start sending them via email and WhatsApp to everyone she's ever met including her hairdresser
God, it's tiring dealing with childish ILs.

I would have gone ballistic. I'm very private, and hate the thought of images of me and mine being out there for anyone to see.

@pushpops they have already got a WhatsApp group with all and bloody sundry in it, which they share loads of pics of DD to, which I'm not keen on but thought it's better than fb so I'll let them have that one.

Makes me laugh the way they say oh Barbara from wherever loves this or that pic. Barbara who? Literally no knowledge of this woman. But at least it's not on fb, oh hang on....

Where are they getting all these photos from?

@Mrsramsayscat it's ones thy have taken while they have been visiting. I don't mind them taking pics for themselves to enjoy or show them around to a few friends (IRL ie not on fb!) or share in family messenger group.

@pushpops all I heard when I was pregnant was that I'll have a 'scraggly little thing' with all my veggie eating and apparently no protein.

...and queue baby that was born 9lbs 11oz hahaha!

cue not queue hahahahahaha

MIL posted a picture of me & DD on Facebook, taken minutes after I had an EMCS. I have honestly never felt or looked worse. Horribly swollen, angry red rash & rosacea, eyes rolling from morphine, one boob out. It was a private picture that DH took & shared with her. What is worse is that she never told us. This was 10 years ago & I was new to FB, you didn't get notifications like you do today and the like button. It was up for a fucking week before I found out. I only found out because someone I had lost touch with from school sent a message congratulating me!

DH told her to take it down and at first she argued she didn't understand my problem as FB was for sharing with F&F and everyone that could see it should only be a friend or family.

I've just given myself the rage remembering this! I also look normal now FWIW. I feel your pain OP.

I'm a MIL and I use Facebook a lot, but I always check with any family member before I post pictures. No one in my family wants images of their children on FB, and TBH, wouldn't be comfortable posting pictures of my grandchildren anyway. We have a private website for family photo sharing. Your MIL & PIL should respect your views, even if they disagree with them.

No apology so far but MIL has text DH to ask him to ask me to stop being so moody and fussy! FFS, as always she misses the point...

Moody and fussy? That's a real polite-relationship-killer right there. She has no respect for anyone else.

No apology so far but MIL has text DH to ask him to ask me to stop being so moody and fussy!

Annoyed on your behalf, cheeky cow! She has absolutely no respect for your feelings at all, YOU are the parents and she shouldn't be putting pics up if you have explicitly said you don't want her to.
Take pictures of HER, the most unflattering ones you can when you can take her unawares.
Gawping at the telly with mouth open for example. Get it on FB. Nice caption such as "MIL chilling watching the telly", or picking her nose or whatever.
Feign complete innocence if she complains. "Aw don't be such a buzzkill, MIL I'm putting them up anyway."
See how she likes it.

I am horrified at the number of people who post photos of their children on FB, presumably without the child's permission as they are too young to give it. Photos of them swimming on holiday ( during term time FFS), dancing in the kitchen, fast asleep after a hard ( but always successful )day of sporting achievements. Their children are really going to love all that coming up when they are cool teenagers.

Urgh I think you are well justified in insisting that as they cannot keep images of dd private then they are forbidden from taking her picture, nor will you send them any. If they dont like that or break that rule then they risk loosing out on any relationship with dd. Its not a hard rule to stick to.

Set up a whats app group, we share pictures that way. A few on instagram. My teenage son hates his pics being put up on FB so we don`t.

What's that got to do with what OP asked and her post?

I am horrified at the number of people who post photos of their children on FB, presumably without the child's permission as they are too young to give it. Photos of them swimming on holiday ( during term time FFS), dancing in the kitchen, fast asleep after a hard ( but always successful )day of sporting achievements. Their children are really going to love all that coming up when they are cool teenagers.

Surely if you feel that way then you'll agree OP is not being U in wanting MIL not to put any posts up.