AIBU to hate driving

[Sistersaredoingitforthemselves]

I passed my driving test a month ago after failing 4 times. I had spent an incredibly long time thinking that passing was the key to solving something that had hung over me for the past 3 years and which I thought I would never achieve.
Now that I have passed, I hate driving. I have to drive every day for school drop off/pick up and drive to work. All in, these journeys take around 20-30 minutes each time so not long distance or complicated journeys. I DREAD them, I hate getting in the car or even thinking about getting in the car.
I stalled twice at a roundabout this morning (waiting) I was so flustered and upset with myself. I feel like all the other drivers on the road can see how bad I am and get impatient with me which then causes me to feel more anxious.
Please tell me that this is relatively normal when you’re a new driver.
Will I ever enjoy driving like I had hoped I would? Will I improve with experience? I feel like I was a more competent learner driver!

@Sistersaredoingitforthemselves - the independence you get is priceless if you're in an area where the public transport is bad or non-existent. Also the option of making spontaneous decisions without having to research buses etc. on how to get somewhere.
And yeah, it gets better with the time. If you have the N on your car, any reasonable driver will take it as it is - you're a newbie and still getting your confidence so they try to think for you too.
Good luck.

Of course it's normal to be a bit nervous when you're a new driver.
Nobody is looking at you or thinking about you for more than about 5 seconds - they are all engrossed in what they're doing. That is something to remember in every aspect in life!
You've passed, you're on the road - you have every right to be there. Just keep going, try and relax. Can you listen to a podcast or music you like to make the experience more enjoyable?

Oh I hated it for ages...

You need to stop caring about what anyone else thinks, I know that’s easier said than done.

But take stalling, obviously you didn’t do it on purpose, if you tripped while walking and the person behind you had to stop for a second you wouldn’t spend loads of time afterwards worrying about delaying them - driving is the same.

I felt exactly the same. I passed first attempt when I was forty. I always felt panicky driving and other drivers impatience and attitude didn't help.
You have to keep doing it until it's as automatic to you as walking is.
At the moment you are inexperienced but in time, so long as you stick at it, things will improve.
I stopped driving a few years later mainly due to general anxiety but I wish I had carried on sometimes.

I was going to suggest put L-plates on your car for a while, to make people more patient. But apparently they are a legally regulated thing, and you're supposed to take them off when the car is not being driven by a learner.

You get P plates - but I found people were more impatient when I had those on, like they were assuming I’d be bad before I’d even done anything.

I've just googled again, and apparently the highway code says you "must" have L-plate if a learner, but "should" cover or remove them if not. "Should" is advisory, so apparently it would be OK for you to have them.

It'll get better. It took me about 6 months to stop dreading having to drive to local familiar places and about two years to get used to longer drives. Now I don't mind driving occasionally I even enjoy it.

I'd never heard of P-plates. Sounds like they are the more appropriate option.

Oh, OP, I really do sympathise. My recollection of being a new driver is that I was pretty adventurous about zooming round unknown parts of London, but I'm absolutely positive that I did it with my heart in my mouth half the time. It really did get much, much better. I hope it does for you too, but if it is causing you a lot of anxiety, make sure you allow plenty of time.

Also, this might not be the type of thing you're talking about so it may be irrelevant, but I found that knowing I had to drive somewhere that was really important and that I wasn't familiar with would make me anxious - for example, an exam centre, or a medical appointment - and a few times, I've gone out at about 10pm the day before and driven the route in quiet circumstances. Extreme, I know, but it's better than not sleeping and worrying obsessively!

Try not to let it build up before hand.

I have been driving for 5 years and I hate it. That's OK. Not everyone likes going on the tube in London or going on aeroplanes.

This sounds silly - find a soundtrack. I sing my head off to Moana everyday... my daughters enjoy the drive more too :)

A month in and you're bound to still be aprehensive, just got to give it time.

If going anywhere new, use Google Earth to 'drive' the route, view tricky junctions etc. before you leave.

I hated my first year of driving (passed on 4th test) and stalled ALOT because of nerves. I also avoided motorway driving for 4 years but you get used to driving and i don't mind it now.

I’m with everyone else. I hated it when I passed. I was nervous every time, would dread going on any long journeys and would sometimes just end up crying in frustration because I found it so difficult. Especially as I fell pregnant a month after getting a car (and I spent 3 weeks of that month on holiday!).

However, I’m nearly 2 years through now and I love the freedom it gives me. I love being able to just hop in and go, and it really does feel like second nature now. Preserve and it will get better!

Have you tried driving an automatic? I don't particularly enjoy driving and passed in an automatic as I really couldn't get to grips with manual. It takes away much of the unnecessary stress. You can't stall, you don't roll backwards on hill starts...

P plates will make you a target for drivers who love to intimidate other drivers. Happens very frequently.

upset with myself.

Give yourself a break, stop beating your self up. I can understand that you can easily imagine that other drivers might be getting impatient, good drivers will not. Good drivers know to drive defensively and give others space.

It will however be very difficult for you to relax, and if not enjoy, at least not mind driving while you are judging yourself so harshly. Relax into it, if you catch yourself judging yourself, make yourself smile and 'let it go'. As PP say, it will get better.

OP you probably hate driving because most of your driving is done in rush hour. It is easier to drive outside rush hour as the roads are less busy but then you find there are drivers who do very unpredictable things e.g. suddenly stopping, turning in the road, pulling out in front of you dangerously, driving erratically until you realise they are looking for an address.

I did a lot of driving on multi-lane dual carriageways before my test, and while I was nervous the first time I went on the motorway I found it really easy. If you didn't do a fair amount of driving on dual carriageways before during your lessons, it's worth doing motorway lessons so you feel comfortable going on them.

Regardless everything gets easier the more you do it.

I hated it when I passed too. Not because I was bad at it, or scared of it but because it was yet another chore to do. Kind of like ironing: I'm perfectly competent and I'll do it if necessary, but I hate doing it.

It gets easier though and it's less of a chore once you're more experienced. I actually enjoy driving a bit more now (5 years on) and I love the freedom it gives me.