3rd birthday party when DS has a severe speech delay

[GinPink]

My DS turns 3 soon. He has a speech delay and only says about 5 words. It's at the stage where people will try to talk to him and ask him questions and I have to explain that he isn't being rude in not replying, he just has difficulty with speech and making sounds etc. He is a sweet and sociable lovely boy.

He has a few friends from nursery so we were thinking of throwing him a party for his birthday in a couple of months. Thing is I don't know any of the parents (I'd just be inviting children the nursery staff say he plays with). I'm worried about having a party where I may have to keep telling people about his speech - not sure if it makes things awkward and I'm worried how much my DS will overhear (he understands everything, just can't speak).

I wonder if I'd be mean not to throw him a party at this age or if I'm throwing a party to over compensate - he's only 3 and wouldn't really notice is we didn't have a party and just took him out somewhere nice for a day trip....

Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? I'm so proud of my boy and couldn't love him more but I know how hard things are for him. Not sure if IABU either way?

I think your over thinking this, which is normal for a loving kind mum.

if you want to throw him a party, go ahead I'm sure he will love it, don't worry about other parents I'm sure they won't say a Word never mind think anything.

If they are kids he plays with a nursery then the kids will be fine with him - which is the most important thing. The parents probably won't notice until you point it out as even 3 year olds who speak fluently frequently won't speak to strange adults.

We had a party for my daughter’s third birthday. At that stage she could say ‘no’ ‘oh no’ and make some animal noises.

It actually didn’t cross my mind that some of the other parents might notice her speech, but if anybody did notice anything they didn’t say anything to me. And I didn’t mention it to them either.

The party was in a local community hall, with a bouncy castle and ride on toys so maybe it was a good environment because the children just ran wild and I’m not sure the other parents even spoke to my daughter.

So if you’re worried then maybe host it in a venue where the children will just go off and play and the adults will chat together, then it will be less likely to be an issue.

Ah just have one if that’s what he wants

A party at 3 is not essential ...its school where the pressure for paties come more so if you think it'll be easier a bit further down the line then dont worry about...He wont miss it

although if he's been alright at parties hes been too or you'd like him to have more time iwth his firends then go for it!

However I would keep it low key just a few of them - outside/active if possible so picnic next to playground /paddling pool in the garden(though be v hot on supervison) /soft play... simple food and cake - not too long nothing too complicated - I found 3 tricky on expectations

basically whatever you would do with him - just with cake/treats... at 3 they wont really know the difference..

the kids will play there probably wont be masses of interaction between him and the other parents

and if you do have to say anything to the parents just say he's going to SLT - keep it low key/calm - if you dont make an issue with it they and he probably wont- most parents just worry about their own kids not others ..

Lots of 3 year olds and older will not respond to strangers/adults talking to them because they are shy/not confident/dont want to/ who knows what reason :)

• what does his SLT say? to encourage him to talk to them or not - if his delay is severe it may be better to just talk for him and not excuse it/make him try... if you answer for him and say he's shy no-one would bat an eyelid

You say his understanding is good then he probably has some idea about parties in general and will probably really enjoy himself you probably are over thinking have a lovely party
I understand not wanting to explain why your/my child isn't replying, dd2 had a cleft, has speech delay and hearing loss but we are having to fight for hearing aids so she's often seen as ignoring people and rude I just brush it off now if it's not someone we see regularly they can think what they want

Thanks all. He doesn't have regular SLT yet - we've had a few cancelled appointments which has put us behind, but he's now been referred and should start soon.

Thanks for the replies, I think the idea of soft play is great, all the children would run off to play anyway.

He would have no idea if we didn't throw a party - it's more that I think he'd love it on the day. Hubby is more leaning towards having his first party at 4 (nothing to do with speech just that he'd be at a better age)

As far as I am concerned most children I know, including those of close friends, are mute until about 4.5. Then suddenly they start talking to strangers, so I don’t think anyone would notice.

I’d just do what you prefer. He’d love a party, but he’d love a day out too. I hate parties, so I’d avoid one wherever possible, but you may be different!

Have the party your d's would like.
But it s not compulsory... family cousins people you already know...just as much fun.
If the other kids and parents come
Practise your story "Yes he doesn't talk much yet but he loves playing with duplo"

Ds has led asd we did parties he would like e.g. music lady singing songs..with family and friends with kids who knew the issues.

But it sounds like your d's is sociable little boy. Good chance to be "out" about his speech with 2 or 3 and show it s nothing to fear. The ones that come will be the ones who don't see an issue with difference.
Keep it small a Bouncy castle for 6 kids is much more fun for them