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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How often do you have work socials?

7 replies

Princesstwilightsparkle · 05/07/2018 21:25

Ok so, in my office we are mainly mums of young children and occasionally go out for food, drinks but not loads. I'd say no more than 3 times this year (that's including Christmas!). It's tricky to get everyone out at the same time.

DH's office on the other had, they have at least one big social event a month and have a department dedicated to arranging them. They have bonding sessions inbetween where they do cool stuff like go out on a speed boat ride, have company bbqs, even throw massive parties with well known pop stars at Christmas and summer. All very lovely BUT having spoken to two other WAGs who's other halves work there too they are getting pretty fed up with the amount of social life other half has. I have to agree, it's almost expected that they go out after work on a Fri on top of the other events.

What would you say was an acceptable level of work social life for a parent? I'm curious more than anything. I get DH deserves to go out, but that's before he's even gone out with his other mates.

OP posts:
Plural · 05/07/2018 21:26

A department dedicated to arranging socials?!

NewYearNewMe18 · 05/07/2018 21:32

Sounds Like DS office. They model themselves on Google and seem to do an inordinate amount of team bonding. Young company, I doubt any of them are over 27. There is a lot of corporate hospitality with leading sports stars and clubs

But frankly, it depends on the industry, what your boss expects, what your own career progression expectations are. Certainly when I worked in the city, it was expected you went out every lunch time and at least twice a week. As soon as I couldn't do that (children) I no longer had a career and I couldn't meet the networking component.

BlueJava · 05/07/2018 21:38

Both me and OH are in workplaces similar to you DH. Lots of social - two this week for me already, plus Friday night. Always expected to go out when I travel abroad at least twice in the week.

Princesstwilightsparkle · 05/07/2018 21:42

Yes plural, a department dedicated to it! It's great for the young employees, but can't help thinking it's not very family focussed for the older staff. I do wonder if it's upping the divorce rates sometimes but maybe I'm being dramatic.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 05/07/2018 22:19

That sounds completely alien to me, and I guess that is part of the issue.
I don't "get" socialising being part of work. That said if it is expected, then I think you have to look at it as being part of the working hours. Like some people accept that part of their job is working nights, or others accept that part of their job is working away from home - either Mon-Fri, or maybe for some weeks in a row.
If you just consider it to be part of his working hours, and not 'socialising' then does that make it more palatable ?

Hookinghappy · 05/07/2018 22:27

Is he expected to go to all of them or does he choose to?

There are nights out or meals out nearly every week where I work, any excuse, birthdays, leaving dos, promotions etc but there’s no expectation just a note up in staff room and you add your name if you want to go. Not many of the staff go to all of them but everyone is invited.

Oly5 · 05/07/2018 22:30

But how often does he go out? If he’s out three times a week then that’s too much.. if it’s twice a month I think that’s fine.
It doesn’t matter how many socials they have, it’s how many he goes to

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