In worrying that my 17 month old has a speech delay - posting for traffic

[AlwaysWantedToBeATenenbaum]

My DS is 17 months old and at the moment he's only saying mum - no other words at all. I talk to him all the time and try and get him to copy me but he dosen't. He also hasn't clapped, waved or pointed yet. The only thing he does is put both hand soap in the air when we say "yaaay". Has anyone else had an experience like this with their little one's that can re-assure me? I'm going to phone the health visitor in the morning- it's just upsetting me so much when I see other toddlers saying lots of words and phrases. Feel like a failure of a mum.

Not hand soap - hands up!

Well, you have a one year old, so the speech thing sounds totally normal to me. He's a baby still!

I don't know about the pointing etc, can't remember when my kids did it. No harm in asking the HV, but don't stress about it. He's still very, very little.

My son was the same. At 18 months he had 2 words, cup(!) and Dad. Health visitor referred us to a speech therapist. After one session she said we shouldn't be concerned, he clearly understood what was being said to him, and that he'd start talking in his own time. Which he did, a few weeks later. Sounds silly, but until the health visitor flagged it up, I didn't really notice any speech delay because when I was with him, we'd "talk" play, interact, just not with many words!

Try not to worry too much op. He's still very little.
What's his understanding like?
My friends lb has speech therapy. She was told to lay of asking him questions and to talk about what she was looking at etc. To reduce the pressure. I'm not sure if that's a general rule though.
My DS's speech as come on leaps and bounds since about 18 months. I don't think he said much as all before then.

Whether there is an issue or not, it’s nothing you’ve done, so please don’t feel like a failure.

Certainly sounds within the realms of normal but have a chat with hv. There’s no harm in getting someone else’s opinion and having it flagged up.

Personally I would want his ears checked (are they particularly waxy?) because it can be such a simple resolution sometimes.

It is normal to worry (even if there is nothing to worry about) but of course you are not a failure as a mum! Mums don't control the rate of their child's development, he will develop at his own rate (unless you keep him locked in the understair cupboard, in which case let him out).

17 months is very young. Lots of children aren't talking at this age, you are just noticing the ones that are because you're worried.

Does he understand some of what you say to him? If you said something like "where's teddy" or "bring me your shoes"?

Because you're worried do speak to your hv - or to your gp but try not to worry too much.

Try not to worry. How is his understanding?
My DD2 was similar, only really started using more words coming up for 2. Kids develop at different rates, and it a bit early to be worried.
I'm a Speech Therapist btw.

Meant to say have a look at "talk to your baby", ICan and Afasic for ideas.

Do lots of singing with him. Nursery rhymes, action songs and spoken rhymes. It really helps with language development. Local library may run rhyme-time sessions.

Mine is 17 months, she's only just started to point, screeches instead of talking, and babbles, completely normal, unless they're not doing anything on your list by 2 they don't get concerned (eldest has GDD so I know about delays)

Mine is 16month and doesn't have any speech other than ta. My 4yr old was similar

He’s not even two yet. He’s fine, please stop worrying.

Also if he is speech delayed he is speech delayed, it’s nothing to do with you, so stop feeling down about it RIGHT NOW.

I say this as a mum with speech delayed twins who went to primary school in a specialist speech and language class of 10 - they are now 9 having left primary and gone into mainstream.

In the absence of other special needs some kids just take longer and need more verbal encouragement. But I think you’re worrying completely needlessly as he’s still tiny!

Thank you all for taking the time to reply - I just burst into tears today when I saw a video of my friend's little 7 and a half month old waving happily.
You made me giggle Barbarian mum thank you.
Thinking about it I don't really ask him questions, I just sort of chat too him so I will start that, and lots more songs!
He understands certain things like "throw the ball" or "kick the ball" and whenhis dad pulls up I say "where's dad?" and he looks to the door.

My eldest only said 3/4 words at 2 , he clearly understood everything though and eventually started talking just before he was 2.5 when he instantly was stringing sentences together . We always say that he didn’t want to talk until he knew he was capable of having an argument with us .

DS was similar. Barely said a word a 2. 3 months later he told his nursery nurse that I was having a baby, in quite some detail. He was right, but we hadn’t told him.

I am sure you’ve nothing to worry about, but I would have his hearing checked. My DS, now 12, had some difficulties with speech due to glue ear causing him to struggle with imitating speech. This which was rectified with grommets when he was four. He then had speech therapy and has had no long term issues.

Have his ears checked (my ds had glue ear from 12-24 months and it affected his speech, he's completely caught up now, but has never been ahead iyswim) - I say that to everyone though!

Beyond that, I really wouldn't worry because what you're describing sounds REALLY normal.

I think at his age it's more important that he shows understanding, than if he says loads of words. It's the brain bit (understanding language) that's hard to rectify if something is wrong... the speaking bit can always be worked on, that's the easier bit! The fact he looks to the door etc., those are excellent signs that his understanding is there.

Member of my family could hardly talk when they started school at 5. No one in those days ever worried that much to be honest, 3 months later he was talking same as the other kids, he was basically lazy.

My son is 19 months and barely speaks. I was worried but after some internet searching I read as long as they seem to understand stuff don't worry so much. I have made a concerted effort to point out EVERYTHING to him, plus I bought some 'first word' books. Since then, although he only says a small amount of words I have felt reassured he understands a lot more than he says. I'm not saying this is the approach you should take, I only have the one child and am not a HCP, but I've found this reassuring.

Some children appear to be geniuses by talking early, others not so much - but very often, these things even themselves out. It's sometimes a very 'placid' (can't think of a better word, but I mean in the 'happy' sense) child that doesn't rush to talk.

You've had great advice above.

Missing words at that age is totally normal, but I would be concerned that he wasn't using his hands to talk. Does he put them out in a grabbing motion if you have something he wants?

I think I would see a HV, but I'd definitely take heart from all these posts. And it sounds like you're doing a really wonderful job!

Mine was exactly the same at that age (but could have not say ‘no’, so much fun ). By around 22 months, this evolved into being able to make animal sounds, and by his second birthday he suddenly had an explosion of words - he even learned how to count! He’s now two and a half, and he can talk in full sentences. The only issue initially was that he was repeating things back rather than making his own sentences, but that quickly resolved itself.

The important thing is that they show understanding. Honestly, there probably nothing to worry about - although having been there myself, it’s very much easier said than done.

You're not a failure! He sounds adorable OP. My son was similar. I remember at our 15 month check replying "no" to every question the HV asked (is he waving/pointing/clapping) and feeling awful. He's nearly 3 now and did it all eventually, though he's just not a fan of interactive dancing/singing activities. His speech is only just taking off now so I wouldn't worry at 17 months. He'll be fine