DDs dad does every other weekend, nothing more nothing less until recently. This was originally due to her being very young when we split and breastfed to sleep so small was better. She is now 4 and is missing him in the time between, so we arranged to split the holidays in half as it will help me out a lot and will be something we can keep up when she starts school (he lives an hour away so mid week won't be an option then).
He has just invested in a business and is now saying he can't do half the school holidays. I'm not being realistic apparently. He then agreed to sort it but is constantly laying on the guilt trips. His mum is retired and sister is on a career break. My family work full time and I am a nurse so do long hours that are not nursery friendly, therefore my family work hard to help.
After another guilt trip of him basically saying he needs to be there '24/7', his sister can't help because she has a dog to look after (she's had this dog for years and has never had an issue having DD) and his mum is away for a week (we haven't chosen our weeks yet so this could easily be worked around) therefore he's going to have to use childcare every single day he has her apparently 
. There have been accusations that 'I chose every other weekend (when she was a breastfed baby) and therefore need to stick to it', apparently I 'need to realise we are separated and cant expect the same from him as I would a partner' and I also 'need to realise my job doesnt come above his business'
I'm fed up, I work hard, I do everything for DD and I'm totally run down. My DD misses him and wants to see him more.
I'm trying to put my foot down but to be perfectly honest I don't feel comfortable forcing DD on him. However, I also don't just want to say ok fine I'll sort it and then everything go back to being convenient for him with no regard for me or her. I have no idea what to say or do, help!