TTC when we have two major events next year?

[Alibelle]

I’m getting married next month and DP and I have both agreed that we would very much like to start TTC straight afterwards. However, next year is a big year for us in that we already have a holiday to Japan booked and we’ve now just found out that a close family member will be getting married next year in America... so two long haul trips in late summer 2019 are now certain.

I’m in two minds as we do have plenty of time yet to TTC (I’m 25 and DH 33) but, this is something we both really want. We are at a stage in our lives where we have good jobs, our own family sized home etc. and it just feels like the right time for us. I know nothing is certain when it comes to TTC, but if I were to fall pregnant after the wedding I could be potentially be on maternity leave and have a 4/5 month old around the time of the Japan and America trip, or I could be pregnant.

After sitting down together, there are so many upcoming events in our lives that we could potentially put TTC back further and further for, and never really get round to it if we looked for the “perfect time”. On the other hand, perhaps I’m being rather unrealistic to think that two long haul trips with a new born is even possible?!

Any advice appreciated.

How upset would you be at missing the trips?
If you were heavily pregnant at the time, you may not be able to fly. Also, that long haul with a newborn would be difficult, so definitely consider it.

I wouldn't say definitely wait, because you don't know how long it will take but make sure you are happy to miss the events if need be as pregnancy and babies are unpredictable.

You could possibly wait and start ttc 4m or so before the trip, then even if you fell immediately you wouldn't be heavily pregnant. There is obviously however the risk of morning sickness making you feel awful.
Ultimately only you can decide, and likes you said if you wait for perfect timing you would never do it.

Forgot to add, at my 20w scan i was told i had placenta praevia so wasnt allowed to fly after that point, and due to a c section I would've been very uncomfortable flying for at least a month after having dd

I wouldn't have been comfortable flying after 6 weeks pregnant because of severe sickness, you never know how your going to feel so I guess you have to weigh up your priorities, wait a year to have a baby or try now and be ready to accept the possibility of not going on these two trips.

Personally I'd wait till after the two holidays.
You'll need to have a gap trying anyway, if you don't get pregnant straight away as you couldn't go to Japan and America with a teeny baby (well you could, but it really wouldn't be fun) and you also can't fly long haul past a certain gestation.

Lots of people also feel pretty grim between 7-12 weeks pregnant - oh and you can't eat raw/undercooked fish or seafood when you're pregnant either.

I'd wait if Japan is already booked. It took us over a year TTC but you might get lucky first month.

Long haul with a newborn might not be fun but it's definitely possible! A friend of mine long hauled her baby back and forth between Australia and the US a handful of times in the first year. It's actually much easier with a newborn than a toddler!

what you can't do is fly long haul in your third trimester (and possibly earlier than that depending on the airline).

Could you have a go and just avoid TTC in the period that would mean you were in your 3rd trimester up to say 6 weeks post birth? Then pick up again once the danger zone has passed! You're right that you can't put TTC on hold until the perfect time, but equally you can't put your life on hold until you fall pregnant. I would narrow it down to as small a date range as possible to avoid and then just go for it!

I've flown long haul at least four times per year with my dds ever since they were newborns. Newborns were easy - in fact it was the first time they both slept through, those cots are the best seats on the plane! 1 & 2 is the hardest age. After 3 it gets easier and easier.
I'd go for it, 1 baby is very portable.
In hindsight, with dd1, I wish dh and I and dd1 had just travelled for a year for my maternity leave, it was the best chance I ever had to do so. -

I'd probably wait till after the Japan trip if I were you, simply because you've already organised and paid for it, America, it wouldn't be such a big deal if you couldn't attend a family wedding through a potential pregnancy.
TTC is obviously more important than holidays are to you both so I wouldn't let other peoples events influence your decisions about your family. Good luck

Whatever you decide. Part of being a parebt isguve and take. So there will be events in the future that you might have to miss due to the children being ill or they have an event of their own. Just part of being a parent. I would wait until the japan trip was over though

I think you should decide what your priorities are and go from there.

You might get pregnant immediately, have a smooth pregnancy and easy labour and birth and perfect baby.
Unfortunately, sometimes women lose their baby, have an awful pregnancy, months of "morning sickness" and batteries of tests because of possible problems with the baby, are on bed rest for months and have a difficult birth and take weeks to recover. (statistically not ALL of those for the same baby of course)

My point is that you need to decide now. If you have already paid for Japan, have you got a good insurance if you need to cancel the trip?

Thanks everyone. Flights to Japan aren’t paid for yet, so technically it could be cancelled if I really needed to. Without having had a baby before, it’s hard to imagine how it’ll be and whether a long haul flight might be possible, so your opinions are helpful :)

I’ve both flown heavily pregnant and with a newborn. Both times were semi-essential trips. Its not impossible, but I think for comfort reasons it’s better to not fly long-haul after 28 weeks or before 8 weeks postpartum.

Flying with a newborn is far easier than flying with an older baby/child. I think it's easy to imagine before you have a child that they'll just fit into your life, which isn't quite the case unfortunately. I think I'd get my long haul holidays done before having kids as once you have them it'll be years before you want to do long haul (IMO)

And yes, agree with HairDyedPink complications, even in early pregnancy, are not uncommon and at the very least might ruin your travel plans