To think IL's should lend us car?

[DSMEZ]

We gave DH's dad and his wife our old car when we could have sold it. They always liked the car and needed a new one, but only as a run about. Anyway, to cut a long story short, DH's car has broken down and he works at odd hours where he NEEDS a car to get in. IL's don't want to lend us the car we GAVE them, which we could have sold for 2000 pounds! Would you expect your IL;s to lend you car in simililar situation? They barely use it and it was only going to be for a week!

No, you can't expect it. Gifts don't come with strings and the car was a gift.

That's not to say you can't be annoyed that they won't lend it but you can't expect it.

Well I know you gave it to them, but that means it now belongs to them and you have no claim on it now. You might feel that you're entitled to have it but really, if they say they need it then there's not much you can do. It would be nice of them to do so but it's not unreasonable of them to say no, really. My dad doesn't drive around nearly as much as we do and he's lent us his car on occasion but I'd never ask him for his car for a whole week, even if we'd given him his car.

i would say YABR as long as you agreed to take them anywhere they needed to go that week.

It is their car now.

Up to them if they want to lend it to anybody.

Maybe they have good but unknown-to-you reasons for not lending it, maybe they're just selfish and unkind.

However, I sense you will be reluctant to do them favours in the future.

I would be annoyed as well dsmez. Obviously I don't know all he details but I think they should at least offer to give youe dh lifts to work.

although it is their car its a bit mean of them not to help you out

its there car.

I agree that its their's now but I don't think you are BU, I think that in this situation they should show some consideration.

No of course not. Might be nice if they offered but maybe they are using it themselves. Can't you get it fixed (with a loan car ?), take taxi's/cadge lifts or even hire one if you are that desperate. Do you have a second one btw as you make it sound like dh's car has broken down but not necessarily the family one, sorry it's just not clear.

If they are not going to be using it on a daily basis then they should have lent it to you.

My late FIL gave us a car when ours died [he had two] and he told us to sell it on when we wanted to get a better one,

My FIL gave us his old car when he got his new one, he could've sold it but didn't. If his ever broke down we'd give him ours back to use for a while, without question. I do understand why people are saying that it's now their car and they are under no obligation to lend it to you, but I personally would be incredibly angry too after such a show of generosity on your part.

No, YABU, there should be give and take on both sides.

maybe ask them if they'll ferry your dp to work and back?

If you had loaned it I'd say you had a right to ask for it back for a while. As you gave it freely I'd say all you have is a hope that they will be reasonable in light of your plight.

Agnes

Have you actually asked them?

Maybe it hasn't occured to them to lend you the car.

No, we can;t EXPECT them to lend it to us. But it is incredibly disappointing. I would be embarrassed to even think of doing this if the situation were reversed. DH's step mother is just being a PITA. She lends the car to her son all the time, but somehow lending it to my dh, it suddenly has become a problem. I was opposed to giving it to them in the first place bc I thought the money we could have earned on it could have gone into savings for the dc. Oh well.

agree you can't expect them to lend it back but empathise that you think family should be more generous than they are being. i would chalk it up as experience and use it as a way to consider how generous to be with them in the future.

Lots of posters have made the point that the car now belongs to the ILs and therefore it is their decision whether to lend it to you.

I can understand this point and it appears that this is generally 'acceptable' behaviour from your ILs. I do however think that this is a 'legal' way of looking at it.

Looking at it morally, I think it is very sad when you are in a position where you need help and you cannot rely on your family to be there for you. You are justified in feeling upset about it. This is especially the case when you have provided the same people with help in the past.

No, because I would have sold it in the first place if they only needed it for a run about.