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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder what to buy for a wedding gift?

38 replies

MarmiteAndCheeseRolls · 04/07/2018 21:12

Posting for traffic
So dps good mate is getting married. We're going to whole ceremony and reception.
They have said there's nothing they want. Haven't given a list or anything. As rhey said they already have a home and all they need..
So I'm stuck.. Also we don't have a lot of spare money at all.. I mean pretty brassic and I've had to borrow a dress to wear myself to go.
So makes us pretty stuck for ideas.

OP posts:

hibbledibble · 04/07/2018 21:14

Maybe ask them?

You sound to be worrying too much about this.

tonsil · 04/07/2018 21:14

One of our favourite gifts was a £10 M&S voucher so we could buy a "dine in for two" deal. Failing that, photo of yourselves with the couple or DP with the groom? Regift something?

Justmuddlingalong · 04/07/2018 21:17

Buy a lovely card, write a special message in it and go and enjoy the wedding. If they really don't want or need anything, and funds are tight, you're stressing for nothing.

Original poster

MarmiteAndCheeseRolls · 04/07/2018 21:18

They've said they don't want anything as nothing they need.
I have nothing to re gift as quite minimalistic.
Was thinking a voucher but don't know for where.

OP posts:

Nomad86 · 04/07/2018 21:24

You could invite them over for a meal after they get back from honeymoon.

We recently got a really nice picnic rug for some friends who didn't have a wedding list.

ReadingRiot · 04/07/2018 21:26

Take them at their word and take nothing. Don't spend money you dont have on something they don't want

ItWillAllBeOkayInTheEnd · 04/07/2018 21:28

Bottle of champagne?

MsSquiz · 04/07/2018 21:54

A voucher for a meal somewhere or the theatre/cinema so they can have a date night?

BigPinkBall · 04/07/2018 22:28

A bottle of fizz or a gift voucher for a local restaurant/cinema so they can have a night out as a married couple.

Whisky2014 · 04/07/2018 22:29

So they want MONEY

Whisky2014 · 04/07/2018 22:30

ReadingRiot

Take them at their word and take nothing. Don't spend money you dont have on something they don't want

How rude. They havent said "no gifts" they just havent demanded specific things...

bridgetreilly · 04/07/2018 22:34

I usually buy a nice cookery book and some high quality chocolate in that situation. But a bottle of good wine would also work. Something like that.

MoreHairyThanScary · 04/07/2018 22:38

In the past for family who've been together for many years I've bought a rose that would flower each year on their wedding anniversary. So maybe a plant?

WerkSupp · 04/07/2018 22:39

How rude. They havent said "no gifts" they just havent demanded specific things...

How is it rude when the OP writes that the couple said:

They have said there's nothing they want. Haven't given a list or anything. As rhey said they already have a home and all they need..

They don't want anything. So don't give them anything, that's their wish.

redcarbluecar · 04/07/2018 22:40

Sounds as though it would be fine not to buy them anything - if they already have loads of stuff, they probably genuinely don’t mind (probably don’t even WANT anything) and would just value you being there on the day.
If you’d feel uncomfortable not giving them anything, a voucher or a bottle of fizz would do the job.

meditrina · 04/07/2018 22:43

Something special for them to consume rather than keep-

I'd go for a good bottle of their favourite drink (wine or spirits, probably)

JennyBlueWren · 04/07/2018 22:43

If you are wanting a good quality gift on a budget then look in charity shops for new unwanted gifts. However avoid this if you arnt sure they'd like it. Our friends managed to give us lots of things which we didn't know we wanted but now love. Have you ever felt something was missing from their house such as a.clock?
Also really appreciated gift cards which we could choose when to spend. M&S and John Lewis.

nervousseacreature · 04/07/2018 22:45

I would have liked a cinema voucher as a wedding present. We had a list (I know, v unmimsnetty) but people gave us lovely things not from list, some gave money and some gave us nothing. I didn’t mind either way, I was just glad everyone came and we had a lovely day.

nervousseacreature · 04/07/2018 22:47

Or how about a plant/tree for their garden? You could take a photo and put it in a card then deliver it after the honeymoon if they’re going away

Cyberworrier · 04/07/2018 22:49

Honestly, if someone says no gifts, they will mean it. We have put no gifts on our invites and made it clear not expecting anything (including money obviously!). I like the PPs idea of an invitation round for dinner after honeymoon and a card

Whisky2014 · 04/07/2018 22:49

werk read between the lines. They said there's nothing they need as in material posessions. Its obvious! They want money otherwise they'd have written "no gifts" on the invite...

Jeez some people...

knowledgeofnone · 04/07/2018 23:03

Do you know if they are having a honeymoon? If so you could get them a gift book and a small token ie. New York guide book and a $10 dollar note put in at a page for say a carriage ride in Central Park

WerkSupp · 04/07/2018 23:06

*werk read between the lines. They said there's nothing they need as in material posessions. Its obvious! They want money otherwise they'd have written "no gifts" on the invite...

Jeez some people...*

What some people are so entitled they want people to hand them cash but don't have the balls to come out and say it? That's even ruder than no gifts. THAT is what is obvious and fucking rude. The OP is brassic. They said they don't want or need anything. Take them at their word and don't give them anything. They said 'there's nothing they want' according to the OP. That means no gifts. So respect that. Give them a card.

oldsockeater · 04/07/2018 23:31

Make a charitable donation to something that they have links to?

oldsockeater · 04/07/2018 23:32

But I think giving nothing but a nice card would also be absolutely fine in this situation. Definitely wouldn't buy them anything as likely they will not like it. If you really want to, phone them up and ask if they would like anything specific or cash, giving them the chance to go for the cash or confirm they don't want anything.

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