Am I being over sensitive?

[ThankYouVeryMuch]

I made a new group of friends at a toddler group and I’ve noticed when we’re together one of the women always makes a point of telling me about something second hand she’s bought, as if I’d be impressed by it, she usually says something like “and YOU’LL be glad to hear I got this 2nd hand” but she doesn’t do it to anyone else, and if I’ve got anything new she asks me if it was 2nd hand.

DD and I are always wearing nice clothes and never look scruffy or anything so I’m not really sure why she thinks I’m so interested in 2nd hand stuff.

That's weird. Are you selling/buying stuff on Facebook that she may have noticed?

She’s probably environmental or economically minded. Can’t see the issue

There is only an issue if you think she’s being pointedly nasty

@Shitonthebloodything No, not really, I’ve sold maybe 3 things on FB but it was a hassle so I just give most stuff to friends or charity.

@Labradoo I’m not sure if she’s being nasty but it definitely made me feel like she must think I’m poor or something!

Does she think you are into environmental issues/ developing world issues (in terms of people being paid shit wages to make our clothes in the west) or something similar?
If you have expressed views on any issues around this people will make huge assumptions about the rest of your beliefs.
I ride a bike and, Jesus, people just assume an enormous amount about what my values must be because of this and then attack me when they see me as being hypocritical about views I don't even hold!

Why don't you just (politely) ask her why she says it? There is probably a perfectly innocent explanation.

@bluelightred I’m definitely not into environmental issues! I literally never ever buy 2nd hand stuff and I use a tumble dryer even in this weather.

I can never seem to find a polite way to say “why do you think I like 2nd hand stuff?” Without sounding rude.

The only difference between me and the other 4 women is I drive a smallish 5 year old car because me and DH have a car each, whereas they all drive fancy, top of the range cars, but they share a car with their DHs.

Sounds like she's bragging about her finds

2nd hand stuff is good. Maybe she's trying to get you to see the light

I'm always quite chuffed when I find a second hand bargain and probably am guilty of gumtree bragging. It's like a challenge to see how good a deal I can get! Maybe she's just trying to strike up conversation. I really wouldn't take it personally

@Lethaldrizzle I’m sure some people like 2nd hand stuff but I was bullied as a child because I always wore 2nd hand clothes, not because that’s all my parents could afford but because they didn’t think it was “worth” buying new things for children, so if she’s trying to convert me then she’s wasting her time!

It's obviously a touchy subject and brought back memories. Sounds more like your problem.

Why don't you refer to your parents in "natural conversation" next time she does it? Along the lines of "ooo, that's a really good deal but I always like to buy new because..." keep it a lighthearted "aren't we all different" kind of thing.

it sounds to me that the "you'll be glad to know " bit is just how she talks, kinda of how people use the "we went down to the " instead of I.

i yhink she prob thinks your nicer and more friendly then the others so feels more able to get excited and share about her finds with out being judged?