AIBU to end relationship? Too late to meet mr right in time for baby

[Sounsure777]

AIBU to contemplate ending relationship?

So i have a 6 yr old (his dad walked out 5 yrs ago). I met my partner 3 years ago and hes stable dependable reliable, would never cheat etc but im not sure hes my mr right.. we bicker over silly things and i just dont feel we are right.. we dont make each other laugh etc.. feels like we are more bro and sis than best friends/soul mates. Plus a few other issues... he can be a little patronising and arrogant as well as a huffer in terms of making out like he "does so much for me" and im "lucky to have him".

But hes a great step dad and so much is right about him but im not sure i really love him deap down.. not sure i want to spend rest of my life with him.. he woulld like a baby in future and i really want one too but i cant shake the feeling im settling.

I will be 37 soon and im petrified if i end it i will regret it and i wint meet mr right or at least not in time for a baby :-/

Wwyd?

Anyone got any experience of staying in a relationship like this and any got any of leaving and finding true love late in life?

There are compromises in every relationship. I don't think anyone has a relationship like it is in the movies, but that being said I couldn't love my DH more. He works too hard and has a bestie who's a girl who seriously competes with me and I have a few other tiny gripes as he does with me , but we love each other so much. Not sure if that helps or not

Yes I dumped a nearly bloke when I was 38 though I was desperate for another child ( I had a teenager from prev relationship ) reckoned it'd never happen but met dp at 40 and at 42 had our twins! I was proactive and did the online dating thing. Worked for me x

I think ‘Mr Right’ doesn’t really exist for most. All relationships are in a way ‘settling’. Nobody is perfect and no relationship can work without compromise. I think an ability to compromise, and express yourself openly are markers of a mature relationship. I used to feel very sad about my marriage and how things were, but now 20 years on I’m glad we both stuck it out because once that manic, full-blown passion changes or goes a relationship does change and you become at ease and at one together. If you are very miserable then of course maybe consider your options but you’ll never know if this was the one. My husband is a different person now to the selfish arrogant twat that I married and no doubt I’m a much better wife than I once was.

Thanks all.. bauble trouble thats fantastic!! It took 3 years online dating to find my current partner tho :-/

He doesn’t sound great - does he think / say HE’s lucky to have YOU?

In your shoes I’d probably dump him and take my chances with respect to DC2!

You can tell him he's lucky to have you! Set him straight. Maybe you need to have a talk and see how he feels about the relationship. He might feel exactly the same as you, in which case it would be easy to go your separate ways.

I really think you should hold out for more. I too felt that the Disney perfect relationship was unattainable until I met my fiancé- he is so so perfect for me. I really do feel like we have the movie perfect relationship and I am so happy everyday. I don’t feel I ever have to compromise- we fit together perfectly and compliment each other’s personalities. I feel so, so lucky to have met him.

I remember being with my perfectly fine ex but thinking, surely this can’t be as good as it gets? So glad I ended it and found out it wasn’t- my current partner is my best friend and soulmate and I couldn’t wish for more. As a result, I always encourage people to seek out their ideal match.

I will however say that I understand that it was pure luck that I met him, and it’s scary to think you may never meet them. I was scared too- but I realised I would rather be alone than with the wrong person, and I am thankful for that decision every single day.

Follow your heart OP.

Yes loopytiles he has said in past im lucky to have him.. and said he doesnt want to be taken for granted

Thanks cathena..how old were you?

Sorry..should have said.. if u dont mind me asking re age!

So does he say that HE’s lucky to have YOU?

Break it off. Now. Before it causes more upset for your kid. I'd rather never find Mr Right than settle for Mr Eh Maybe.

Loopey ocasionally he does but only since i pulled him up on it.. explaining that im unhappy about the way he comes across (hes got good job , car, owns property etc) and doesnt want to be 'taken for a ride'... (im not after his money! I have my own (good) job plus own my home...

Don’t mind at all! Was late twenties, thirties now. I honestly don’t think age matters though- compatibility strikes at any time. Went to a wedding of a friend in November who met her OH last year and they are both early 40’s. It’s literally just a game of chance sadly, but I really think it’s one worth playing. I really think there is nothing lonelier than being in the wrong relationship.

I think ‘Mr Right’ doesn’t really exist for most. All relationships are in a way ‘settling

I think this is such a sad way to think and I don’t agree at all. People only settle when they are afraid to be alone and don’t believe they can find any better. That’s not the basis of a good relationship imo.

@AlphaBravo put it much more eloquently than me! I agree- better to not find Mr Right than settle for almost.

Back when I broke up with my ex, I said to a friend who was also in a ‘meh’ relationship that I would rather be single at 50 than married to him. She mused ‘oh, I think I would rather be married to anyone than not’ and I said at the time it was a risky attitude.

She is now living with a guy who she moved across England for. Puts on a brave face but he is very much a grumpy, ‘put the feet up and watch footie, bring me a beer, when is dinner ready’ type. She has mentioned in the past that they are ‘more like roomates’ and last time I went to see her she broke down in tears at how lonely she was. I don’t see how that’s better than being single!