Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to answer the woman?

12 replies

dontwanttoanswer · 04/07/2018 18:02

Have NCd for this as potentially outing.

I work for a consultant company and have a few clients I look after, one of which are the middle men and the work we do is actually for one of their clients. The nature of the contract we have with company x means me and the main contact (we'll call him mr A) there talk 2-3 times and have 2- 1hour conference calls a week with their customers as well. The conference call happens at around 8pm and prior to the conference call mr A rings to have a quick catch up to make sure that things are on plan. I don't get cell Reception on my work phone at home so anything outside of office hours are done on my personal number (company x are the only company that need ooh support).

There have been a few issues throughout the contract (verbal abuse from one of their customers, and then another accident which I'm about to get into) which has lead to Mr A offering some emotional support on top of the work stuff, largely because he's been there for every incident so seen the aftermath. The biggest of these incidents was 2 weeks, mr A, my boss and I were out with one of their customers, where my drink got spiked. Mr A took me to the hospital and boss went to back to the office to locate staff files in order to contact my emergency contact. I had the best part of a week off and since my return mr a has checked in daily about how I'm doing since the spiking ect... anyway tonight I've had a text and 3 calls from his wife demanding to know if we're having an affair. We aren't. But aibu to just not respond to her? I really can't be bothered dealing with their drama, and my company are ending ties with company x next Friday (it allows them time to find a new company and do handovers which is why it wasn't Instant) so I'll never have to talk to him after that anyway?

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 04/07/2018 18:04

I wouldn’t respond to her, no. But I would tell him what’s been going on.

MeanTangerine · 04/07/2018 18:05

I think the poor woman must be extremely upset and worried to have contacted you. Do get a favour and reply 'No'. I think you're right not to get drawn in beyond that though.

TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 04/07/2018 18:07

Do you suspect this man is the one that spiked your drink?

dontwanttoanswer · 04/07/2018 18:08

@TellsEveryoneRealFacts no, we know who spiked it as he admitted it when confronted by Mr As boss

OP posts:
bertielab · 04/07/2018 18:08

I’d forward the message to mr A and your boss and wouldn’t reply direct to her - let your boss do it

Nikephorus · 04/07/2018 18:08

I would reply - ring her and explain that her husband was being kind checking up on you after the spiking. He's been decent to you so return the favour. It's no big deal to you but would put her mind at rest, particularly when you explain the circumstances & that you'll shortly have no further contact.

MissMiserable · 04/07/2018 18:19

He's been there for the aftermath of every incident? It sounds like the professional boundaries have been blurred. I'm not surprised his wife is suspicious. Your emotional support for all these 'incidents' shouldn't be coming from clients.

dontwanttoanswer · 04/07/2018 18:19

@bertielab did that just after posting and he came back saying she has issues with jealousy since she didn't expect him to work with any females (it is an extremely male dominated industry) boss hasn't come back yet. I highly doubt she'll actually listen to anything I have to say

OP posts:
dontwanttoanswer · 04/07/2018 18:24

@MissMiserable there's been 2 incidents one of verbal abuse/threats on his customers site which then involved a 2 hour drive back home, hence him knowing exactly what went down during/after the incident as in the car I was logging it all with my boss. And then the spiking which happened to be the same guy as the first incident- which has shaken more then just myself because of the previous incident. The other issue just mean more work for both of us- and more work means we need to talk more to iron any kinks out.

OP posts:
DextroDependant · 04/07/2018 18:29

You don't have to reply it it would be a kind thing to do.

Just a simple text saying no, you work closely on a project and it is purely professional. Then leave it at that.

Nikephorus · 04/07/2018 19:27

I highly doubt she'll actually listen to anything I have to say
But she might. It won't hurt. Ask yourself how you'd feel if you were in her position, or if a friend of yours was.

arranfan · 04/07/2018 19:36

If Mr A's DW genuinely believes you're the OW, she's unlikely to take your word for it.

Learning that you've notified Mr A and your boss might convince her that's she has misinterpreted matters tho' she might read something (wrongly) into the termination of the contract.

It sounds like you (and your company) are as well to give this other place up as clients.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread