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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask what to do with my day off?

62 replies

cjt110 · 04/07/2018 14:57

I am soon reducing my hours and going from a 5 to a 4 day week. My day off will be on a Friday - DS will be at nursery and then at school.

I don't remember the last time I had time to myself and am aware I might end up at a loss of what to do.

So, what can/should I do? If you've adjusted to going part time, how did you find it? I don't want to end up doing cleaning or house stuff - I can do that on the other days and am concerned I will end up bored.

OP posts:
mrsnec · 05/07/2018 09:58

I'm a few months into doing as feisty suggests. I'm not there yet but I realise how precious this time is and I can feel myself getting better I don't make plans or commit to anything it's just my time. Sometimes it's cleaning and batch cooking, sometimes it's having a clear out last time it was doing my nails, making a moussaka, reading trashy magazines and watching re runs of Would I lie to you and Room 101 on Dave. I am never bored.

I probably should do something that helps my fitness but I'm happy doing what I'm doing . I would walk or swim if I got bored.

cjt110 · 05/07/2018 10:01

I'm so sorry to bring the mood of this thread down

OP posts:
reluctantbrit · 05/07/2018 10:11

The fist weeks I played on the iPad, read tons of books, napped, watched rubbish TV and ate too much. It was great for my mental health as I recharged my batteries.

My work expects me to have all non urgent appointments on my days off and unless there is an emergency not leave early/come late for things which can be arranged on my days off. So all kind of private stuff is done in these days,

I now do the large weekly shop as soon as DD is in school, do all the washing and some ironing and ideally all practical stuff away so weekends are free now, it is also great to go shopping for ME without a child or arranging it around weekend activities,

I still didn’t manage to get a proper hobby but use the gym (forced by a knee injury).

The time is short anyway with dropping DD off and collecting her again but it def helps being more relaxed and enjoying life more.

FeistyOldBat · 05/07/2018 11:25

{{{{{{{{CJT}}}}}}}}

{{person's name}} are hugs. I've seen them used elsewhere, especially on Open University forums, but never here. Maybe I'm not looking in the right place.

You've nothing to apologise for. Don't do that, this is your thread.

Don't feel guilty about your feelings, they're absolutely valid. It's too much stress that makes me cry; afterwards I feel better able to cope with whatever it was that made me cry in the first place. Sometimes I think that there are people much worse off than me, of course there are, but that doesn't mean that my own needs aren't important and I need to take care of myself. And you need, and are entitled, to take care of yourself and your needs.

Volunteer dog walking for a rescue sounds like a good idea; is there a local rescue you could talk to about it? Swimming is a great suggestion; I used to go regularly but have had to give it up because of back injury. It would release endorphins in your brain that work to help lift your spirits. I loved that feeling of being supported by the water and forgetting the constant ache in my joints for a while.

Have you thought about getting a cat? There are a huge number of rescue cats needing homes. Would DS like a cat? You have to be patient with an adult rescue cat and get to know them but they make great companions once you do. It's a magic feeling the first time you narrow your eyes and give your cat a slow blink, and s/he does the same back at you. I'm a mad cat lady, can't you tell! My mad cat is a stroppy black rescue and I love him to bits. Photo attached. I woke him up for his breakfast too early, he went back to sleep. There's a teenage boy inside that black coat. Smile

A touchy subject now, are you interested in politics, in particular, how do you feel about Brexit? This organisation, DiEM25 is just over two years old now and is spreading across Europe. It's still very young and like all organisations of this type, it needs volunteers. I do what I can to help my nearest branch and it's far more energising than any Labour Party branch I've come across. Progress is another active organisation, although I think I've probably moved too far leftwards for them. If I'm on the wrong track with this, please ignore.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

to ask what to do with my day off?
mrsnec · 05/07/2018 11:37

Don't worry OP. Everyone is different. I'm just in agreement with anyone who says play it by ear.

I know a lot of people always have to be doing something, bettering themselves or proving something. I'm not like that and I have accepted that when I have time to myself it is ok to achieve absolutely nothing sometimes.

Having a clear out is good too though. That's also helped me mentally too and if you have anything you can sell and save the money for something nice that might be good too.

malfoyy · 05/07/2018 11:54

I have Fridays off too. I should have 2 days a week off and work 3 but I'm covering extra at the moment and I miss my extra day.

I get my nails done once a month, go to the gym, for walk or cycle ride, go for lunch with my mum or a friend, do some writing, veg out and watch box sets, I sometimes go to the cinema on my own.

I try to do the housework on other days so I'm not bogged down.

redexpat · 05/07/2018 21:53

just read your updates. Can I recommend a book? How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. It will help you figure out what you want to do with your time and how you want your life to look. I know you said you cant concentrate much, but it is easy reading.

I suggested getting ahead with housework to free up weekends for more interesting things. Is there anything interesting at the weekends?

Ooopsijustsnarted · 05/07/2018 22:00

On my day off through the week I either go for lunch with a friend and her baby, or lie on the sofa and binge mumsnet until 3pm then run to school to get dd cos I think I'm going to be late 😂😂

Leeds2 · 05/07/2018 22:30

Volunteering? Loads off different things to do. Charity shops, Home Start, reading in schools, animal rescue is just the tip of the ice berg! There will be something out there that suits you, your interests and the time you have.
I would also have a look in your local library. Mine seems to advertise lots of interesting courses/talks in neighbouring libraries, just never so far in mine!

CrackerCrisp · 05/07/2018 22:36

I would just the enjoy the rare treat of a hot cup of tea and being able to go to the toilet on you own.

Braywatch · 05/07/2018 22:37

Sorry if this sounds stupid, but what about baking or cooking something you wouldn't normally have time for. I know you don't want to do house stuff, but there is no pressure with this kind of thing, it's not like you won't eat if you don't do it. baked a loaf of bread at the weekend, it wasn't hard work at all but took a long time with letting it prove, knocking it back and proving again so took up several hours. I found it relaxing as I could go and sit down or whatever whilst it was proving, perhaps it would be a nice low key thing to do but you get something to show for it. Might be a relaxing way to start your Fridays off and you could branch out when you're a bit more comfortable. I hope you enjoy your Fridays off, whatever you do.

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 05/07/2018 22:54

I don't work outside the home many days but Fridays are my "day off ", no housework, kids, grandkids etc. It's my day to do as I please, get up late, watch Escape to the Country until my eyes bleed etc etc. Sometimes you just need to do nothing, it's marvelous. When you get bored of it, you'll find something to interest you.
Mind you, I'm helping with a house move tomorrow, after this Friday I'm doing tiling at my daughter's house most Fridays plus some holiday babysitting for the grandkids so not exactly days off! BUT the point is I have the time to do it. You'll be fine.

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