...to ask how many party invites a year is normal?

8 replies

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 04/07/2018 07:32

My daughter is in Y4. She has a busy and active life including numerous weekly clubs and classes she goes to, is invited to a reasonable number of playdates and has had a reasonable playdates at our home. Due to work commitments it's hard to arrange more. Her friends always seem delighted to see her when we meet on the walk to school, etc.

However, I've realised she's had no party invitations this school year; Even the lovely group of girls she had at her own party did not invite her back to theirs. Not one. Most of her friends' birthdays are in the summer term - which is the reason I've only just cottoned on to this.

AIBU to be concerned about this? Can this be considered normal, or should I start asking questions? Should I just leave it alone and be content she has a social life at all?

OP posts:

positivepixie · 04/07/2018 07:36

Do you know that the girls had parties? I'd be curious but your DD would probably have picked up some negative vibes if she was being excluded, has she mentioned anything? I wouldn't start asking around tbh.

my2bundles · 04/07/2018 07:41

Did they have parties? My son got loads of invites in reception and year 1 but by year 4 the majority where having 1 or 2 close friends to play, cinema, bowling etc instead, my own son included. He is year 5 and has had 1 this year but has been to birthday celebrations with 1 or 2 for a close friends birthday. I don't plan to have a party as such now untill he is 13 if he wants one.

TorchesTorches · 04/07/2018 07:44

If she is happy at school, and hasn't said anything about parties, I would leave it. Asking questions would just look a bit odd. For her next party invite exactly as you would anyway and see what happens next year.

RedSkyLastNight · 04/07/2018 07:46

By Y4 DC were really only invited to parties of close friends and many DC chose not to have them.

If your DC seems happy and others seem pleased to see her I really won't worry.

LoniceraJaponica · 04/07/2018 07:46

By year 4 party invitations had tailed off significantly when DD was that age. Maybe a couple of parties, and that was it. No whole class parties for sure.

Mummymumface · 04/07/2018 07:47

Oh this is hard - my son (Y2) has not been invited to any parties this year either. It breaks my heart. BUT he is not bothered/has not realised so I am going to just leave it be. If he was aware or upset I might make some moves (invite his close friends around more often, get him involved in more after school activities to broaden his range of friends etc) but since he is not, I think it’s best to leave it. It may well be that I am projecting my fears and feelings onto him more than anything else. So that is my advice to you - if your daughter is not bothered or aware, then don’t make a fuss as it won’t achieve what you want it to.

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 04/07/2018 10:58

mine are in yr1 and 2 and have never been invited to any parties at all since starting.

Original poster

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 04/07/2018 10:59

DD's aware she's not being invited to the parties when she sees the invitations being handed out, or when the other girls are talking about what a great time they had at the last party.
She feels v left out.
Sometimes it is the case that the birthday girl was only allowed to bring one or two friends with them on a day trip. DD is fine about this. It bothers her more when 10 out of 15 of the girls in the class are invited and shes not made the final cut -yet again-

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