Was this out of order?

[autumn57565]

Today at work we were doing a learning workshop about communicating and listening.

One of the tasks involved the 'leader' picking out a person and asking them a question, which they had to answer. Everyone else would analyse the language used.

The leader picked me and asked me to describe the best date I've ever had. I'm a very private person and was very embarrassed about this. I ended up making something up but I feel feel awkward. I don't like talking about this kind of thing, especially on the spot like that. Am I overreacting?

I'd be saying something along the lines of "that's far too personal, sorry ask me something else, less personal".

I would have hated that! Completely inappropriate. You did well considering.

100% inappropriate and I would seriously consider at minimum addressing this with the person asap to stop it happening to anyone else in future. If they were male and you female I'd also be concerned at the dynamics there with regard to sexual harassment. =(

Thats a very strange question.

Did you describe the fantastic sex at the end if it?
Because I'm not sure that was what they meant .

If you were just expected to describe an enjoyable evening with a person you liked then I think it's a bit OTT to get all coy about it.

What’s so bad about saying “dinner, movie, walk along a beach?”

Strange choice of question! Was the leader a bloke?

I think a lot of people would have been ok with it though. You could have just made something up or described a day out with a friend and talked about where you went and why you like it, what you ate, etc. I don't think they were expecting all the gory details!

I think the question is what you make of it - I would interpret it as anticipating a description of an evening or day out, rather than a story of your romantic or sexual feelings. It has the potential to embarrass if the person answering, for personal or cultural reasons, never been on a 'date' and for that reason I don't think it's the wisest question for that sort of activity.

^Has never been on a date ...

I would have described something fifty shades-esque and then they'd wished they'd never asked

That’s a pretty shit question. It presumes everyone lives in a world of nice ‘dates’.

Best day off work would be a bit better.

To paraphrase Miss United States, my perfect date is July the 5th- it's not to be raining and the schools are off so clear roads,!!

It's slightly odd but that may have been the point. You're less likely to have a rehearsed/standard answer to describe your best date.

You know this is wrong. I would not have been OK with this nor would many others. I would not only have refused to answer but also would consider this to be aweful professional practice. Having a leader and responder in a group situation and being put on the spot in front of peers where you don't have an established trusting relationship is not good facilitation and thats not even taking into account the subject matter. I would actually put in a complaint to line management about this tomorrow now you've had time to cool off. Goodluck OP.

If your best date involved intimacy (I don't necessarily mean sexual) then I understand why you felt uncomfortable in that situation. I also understand that as your language and the way you spoke about it was being analysed, it may have made you even more uncomfortable. It wasn't fair for you to be put on the spot like, in front of people, and asked a question about your personal life - work life fine, but personal life...hmm....

You ANBU they shouldn’t be asking about dates!

You were brilliant under the circumstances but the question shouldn't have been asked.

Too personal for me also. I would of said the best date I had was the ones you get from Morrison's and I eat them with my porridge in the morning.