I'm terrified of my child dying *may be triggering*

[Arlothe7footdinosaur]

Sorry for the title I don't know how else to put it. I have an 8 month old and usually my anxiety is controlled with Prozac. However I came across aan Instagram page about parents grieving and children passing away. it's such a fear of mine it's debilitating although it has got better this page has terrified me as a family member lost a child and I can't imagine anything worse. Will anything calm my fears?

I think everyone feels like this at some point when they become a Mum. I mentioned to the Dr that I was overly worried about DD when she was about 4 months and kept imagining her getting hurt. Her response was, "That's totally normal, unless when you imagine it, it makes you happy."

It made me realise we probably all do this a bit. And I certainly wasn't imagining being happy.

Hi OP.

I also have this anxiety. Was triggered by a choking incident. Put myself on a first aid refresher course to help me feel more in control. I'm unable to have medication as I am currently pregnant, but am doing CBT. It is helping me to some extent, but it is early days.

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Talk to your GP as soon as you are able to.

It's awful I'm convinced he's going to leave me

I would really recommend seeing your GP. CBT really helped me with similar anxiety. You’re not alone and there is help out there x

Hi OP. sending lots of love and support. Definitely speak to your gp if you're finding your anxiety taking over your life. Of course this is something every parent is terrified of, but if it's stopping you be able to function then you can get help. I've been there a hundred times and now i can manage my anxiety, I hope you feel better soon much love xx

Another voice for CBT here.

My daughter is nearly 30 and your post really brought back to me the terrible anxiety I used to go through about her dying when she was little.
I’d also recommend therapy and I hope it’s helpful to know that others have similar thoughts. I wish I had talked to someone about it all those years ago.

It's every parent's greatest fear and we all think about it. But if it's affecting your life I would look at CBT, helped my anxiety.

I had this to the point I couldn't leave the house with my baby as I was convinced one of us would die. I checked she was breathing so much every night that I was delirious with exhaustion. I went to my GP and did a CBT course which helped me hugely.
It does get better but you must tackle it head on

I know where you're coming from.. I think it's so common for anxiety to take over when you become a mother. I am a health care professional and see so many people in a professional capacity who become terrified of dying themselves when their children are small..
I used to check mine were still breathing at night so much it became exhausting. If I'm honest I still do go in and check and they are now 3,7 and 15!
I worry constantly about choking - to the point I have avoided introducing certain foods because of it. Baby led weaning was not for me due to the terror of inducing a choking incident.
What I am trying to say is that I think that you are not alone, to an extent many of us will recognise some of the thoughts you are having but yours are starting to take over and I think you should talk to your GP ASAP. Talking therapy will be hugely helpful.

As someone whose child has died. Firstly, stay away from the bereavement support groups. They will give you a warped view of the likelihood of something happening and they are not for you. Secondly, get to your gp to discuss your anxiety. Thirdly, some children do die. It's taboo but real, if one of your children were to die you wouldn't want their life to have been full of your anxiety, you would want to feel they had the best of you.

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh. What I'm trying to say is that the first step is to take care of yourself.

I used to get this all the time and I still do occasionally now she's 11. Every time I heard a siren I'd panic. I think the worrying is the worst part of being a parent.

@Thinktwicefirst

I had this but in reverse. Terrified of dying and leaving small children with no mother. I still get patches of it but not as badly now my dcs are older. I would also have horrible scenarios run through my mind, where I would worry that I was do something stupid or accidental , fall down our steep stairs while holding the baby, trip and land on the baby, not secure furniture properly so it fell on.., well you get the picture. I am an anxious person anyway, but all my friends had elements of this when their children were tiny. It is such a huge responsibility, and you are indispensable to this tiny person. It is bloody scary !

I had this, totally normal. Until it impacts your daily life. And I agree with everyone else. CBT is brill.

think your post puts it into perspective. I agree, it you KNEW your time was limited, you’d want them to have the best of it, not full of worry.

@thinktwicefirst

'It's taboo but real, if one of your children were to die you wouldn't want their life to have been full of your anxiety, you would want to feel they had the best of you.'

Beautifully put.

think

Very well put.

Op I had never felt like this until we had a police officer at our door telling us dd5 was in an accident. It was very serious. She was abroad.

No more details and utter panic. Dd survived. but it changed me and to a lesser extent dh as he had witnessed the 2007 terrorist London bombings. He was in therapy allresdy.

My 6 kids used to have to text me every day so I knew they were alive. It got better with time.

What you are feeling Is normal and I love the post from Neverender what a great sensible GP and so reassuring.

Anxiety is ok! but keek it in its place. You sound a great and normal mum. Don’t worry about worry.