To get rid of the games console. Causing so many arguments

[MarmiteAndCheeseRolls]

DS like many is obsessed with fortnight game. To the point he was sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night to play it.
Faked illness from sch,which he planned with a friend to play it.
Which as soon as I realised his plans I removed the controller.

Over time this has become such an issue in the house.
He is restricted on it to 1.5 hours max a day..so 3.30-5pm when the screen time end, . There's a massive sulk. And this is a baby time blah blah. Or all my friends are allowed on it till midnight etc.
Despite telling him I don't care what his friends do or think it's not healthy.

We live right opposite a huge park and green. Yet he refuses to go out. (to be fair it seems all his mates are out when raining but not in the sun) I have no idea why but I've noticed this too.

Another row kicked off. Because its now nearly 6pm so an hour since the console switched off and I'm getting screaming and shouting at me because I'm the worst mum ever to walk the earth. Sulking like a two yr old when I've said for treating me like that he's not allowed on it tomorrow!

I've tried to explain that it's not healthy and maybe arrange something with sch mates after sch. And I'm happy to drop and collect him if he wants to go to the play area near his school, where everyone goes To which the reply I get is why should I bother.

He's not emptied his sch bag despite me asking at least 8 times. And I'm waiting to wash his pe kit.
The only jobs he has to do is.
Empty bag and prep it. For following day.
Mon. Empty bedroom bin
Tue polish room
Wed wipe window sills with anti back wipe as always get grubby with windows open
Thurs. Empty bedroom Bin
Fri polish room
Weekend when not with dad. Sweep under table after meals.

BTW he's 12.5.years old. So this isn't much to ask to earn his pocket money

I'm at my wits end..
Kids should want to be out in the sunshine..
I've even brought him and a spare for a mate new water guns to have a water fight.. But that's not fun aparantly!

Stick to your guns.

I think at nearly 13 yo a fair agreement would be no gaming until all homework is done and shown to you and then off at 9pm.

His behaviour and attitude means he doesn't deserve anything atm.

I don't think it's fair to say kids should be outside. I hated and still do hate being outside. Not my thing. He should be able to spend his free time as he wants so long as he's behaving and sticking to the rules.

Set up your modem so that his console only has access to internet for however long you want. It’s time you sit down with him and talk about respect and boundaries, him being rude, lazy and disrespectful is not on and if he continues to act like a two year old you will confiscate the console permanently because two years olds don’t play on consoles

Stand your ground and ignore the bleating.

His friends are most likely on fortnite. Our ds plays fortnite online with his friends most nights after school but sometimes they'll all agree to come off for a while to go to the park. Hopefully this intensive fortnite craze will ease off but meanwhile I do think you may be alienating him from his friends. Agree with poster above that if he has done his homework and chores he should be able to do what he wants in his spare time. When I was young (40 years ago) lots of boys seemed obsessed with playing dungeons and dragons. Not sure that this is really much different.

OP read this. It's not the first time a child has been addicted to gaming. Do your son a favour and take it away, for a week at least. metro.co.uk/2018/06/10/girl-9-in-rehab-after-getting-so-addicted-to-fortnite-she-wet-herself-7619324/

My son was becoming obsessed and He went without it for a week then we 'negotiated' specific boundaries and LIMITED days.

Imagine drinking every day?

I really don't think that's a lot of time for a kid that's almost a teenager and I'd be fairly certain that he's telling the truth about the fact that his friends get a lot more time (although no doubt exaggerating how much). It's therefore not surprising that he would resent you for being more restrictive than other parents - that's just what you'll have to put up with if you're determined to stick to your guns, sorry.

Not saying that there shouldn't be any limits at all, because that wouldn't work either, but I do think that at that age you have to be prepared to look around at what other kids his age are doing and sit down and negotiate with him to find something that you're both more or less happy with. He's old enough that there needs to be some proper give and take, otherwise you're just laying yourself open for further problems down the road.

You can't force him to play the way that we all used to - things have changed - but maybe if you said he could have the same amount of extra time on the console (after chores and homework) as he spends outside then you might get a better reaction.

Hold steady OP - this isn’t like Dungeons & Dragons, it’s a highly addictive kettle of fish, and more importantly he needs to respect the rules you have in place

He is old enough to know better. Consequence him, if he doesn't do his chores and respect you, Keeps pulling a sulk and shouting take the whole thing away from him for a day. Literally the whole thing!! If he carries on he loses another day, and so on and so on. You have to mean business and be strong. Don't be pushed around by him x

I'd take console and hide it in the loft. Tell him you have given it to someone and when he's shown a week of manner and doing chores then it comes back.

You are in the right.

I banned all tv, consoles, tablets and phones for the best part of a month not long back. Playing out was also stopped but not as long as the technology.

I was sick of the bickering between my sons, (10 & 12) the disrespect towards me and the house in general and the lack of household help.

It did really help, I expect my kids to keep their room clean, make their beds each day (strip and remake them properly once a week), take the recycling out and do the dishwasher as necessary, and put their own clothes away properly. I don’t think that is too much to ask... but everything was a battle before the ban. We are a much improved household now! Will definitely be doing it again if it slips.

Thank you for your replies.
Dp has set via his phone / microsoft accounts a screen time. So it turns off after that specified time.

I do stick to my guns. I completely done his room on Fri night. He was away. Dp was working so I did the major clean. Behind furniture the lot. It now looks like a pig sty.. It's ridiculous. Yet when I ask he sulks...
I really don't ask much of him but I think I'll be asking more of him.

Healwayd says he has no homework. As it's set online and I don't know his passwords. Yet his reports say its nut done.
I ask the school and they say its the child's responsibility.. Yet there's no consequences at sch for not doing it. It's crazy.