To think we will never have sex again?!

[cheshiremama89]

First born DS is now 5 months old.
EBF, and bedsharing....

He began in his Next To Me Co Sleeper crib, however refuses to sleep in it for more than 1 hour max, so he's now in our bed just so I can get some sleep!

He naps either on our bed or in his pram during the day, and it's now getting to the point where I would like him to sleep in his own room.

My husband and I have only been married just over a year, and haven't had sex in over 10 months.

I feel so anxious that I'm a bad mum/wife and I've "made a rod for my own back" as everyone like to keep telling me.

Can anyone help with the bedsharing to cot transition? Or tips on how to try and get a bit of normality back after a baby?

What is it about the situation that means you can't have sex? When you bedshare or have a wakeful baby it means you have to work a bit harder or get more creative with it.

You could have sex in places other than your bedroom, have sex whilst he is napping in pram, take the opportunity to have sex when you know he's likely to do an hour stretch of sleep before waking, for example.

It's hard but it is possible!

My baby is 5mo, does not bedshare and is bottle fed (breast milk fwiw, so I’m still having to pump etc). Dh and I rarely have sex just now. Give yourself a break. You are not a bad wife. You will have sex again. Just take things as they come. That’s my plan!

With dc1 I found things improved for dh and me sex-wise after she moved to her own room. She was a little over 6 months. But that doesn’t mean rush to move your ds.

I'm still bedsharing and breastfeeding my 14 month old. You just have to take your opportunities while the baby is sleeping!

And you're not in any way a bad wife or mum! I'm sure you're doing your best! Relax and give it time - you'll get back into the groove before you know it

Thanks everyone.

I really enjoy bed sharing, but I feel like it's now affecting my sleep.

I'm sure the sex will return! We're going away for my birthday in a fortnight and hopefully that will incentivise!

He’s only five months old. Relax.

Also beshare and breastfeed all night long (but with a toddler) ... not seeing how that should stop you if you want to though?

God. I've been single for over eight years, haven't had sex for seven. As you at least have someone in the same house as you, chances are you will have sex again long before I do. What you describe is normal for quite a lot of couples with a young baby.

We have sex downstairs...or anywhere not in bed.

Took me a while to want to mind, I’m still fb a toddler and get very touched out!

Don't worry, you're not a bad mum or wife. And 5 months is still relatively early depending on your circumstances. If you want to have sex you will find a way, if you're not quite ready yet you shouldn't feel bad. Don't let anyone put pressure on you, but if you want to may be try having sex somewhere other than the bed (shower? Sofa?)

When ours were little, we had sex anywhere we could get two minutes peace!! Locked bathrooms were good once the little monkeys started walking . Downstairs once they had gone to bed was another popular location as somehow us actually going to bed woke them up!

Just settle baby and creep back downstairs to the living room and do it there. Bedsharing doesn't have to have much of an impact at all.

I think you should put DS in a cot in your room and he will get used to sleeping in it and it will just take time. Once he is used to it you can then move the cot to another room. You will need to stop him sleeping in the bed at some point and the earlier you start the easier it is

Do you have a living room, sofa , spare room or shower ?

Do you actually feel like you want to have sex yourself, or are you just worried about not being a good wife?

If the former - lots of good suggestions above! If the latter, give yourself a break. 10 months is nothing in the scheme of things, especially as you will probably be together years and maybe even the rest of your lives. Any “good husband” will definitely understand that!