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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Someone at work picking his skin and nails

27 replies

TheMagnificentEthel · 03/07/2018 11:00

Someone in my line of sight picks dirt or whatever from under his nails then rolls and flicks it onto the floor.

He also peels small bits of skin from around his nails then flicks this down too. Also picking at the skin around his fingers.

It seems to just be a habit.

Aibu to be revolted by this. My stomach literally heaves.

Wibu to tell him to stop picking his nails because it is disgusting?

OP posts:

rosesandflowers1 · 03/07/2018 11:10

DD1 bites her nails and also tears off the skin around them with her teeth. Apparently it's a symptom of her anxiety.

YANBU to find it gross but I wouldn't say anything! It's probably going to be awkward, and if it is MH related I doubt it'll even stop. Can you just look away?

Pebblespony · 03/07/2018 11:13

I do this sometimes. I want myself to stop but I can't.

LyndseyKola · 03/07/2018 11:15

You can maybe make a joke to show him you’re aware of what he’s doing next time you see it, ‘surprised you’ve got any fingers left the way you go at them!’ which might make him realise it’s really noticeable and embarrass him into stopping.

Failing that, you can actually approach him and say ‘I’m sorry, this is awkward but when we’re working on something together would you mind not doing that? It makes me feel a bit queasy’ but as you don’t have managerial authority to actually take him to task on this you’re only relying on his goodwill, if he refuses to stop there’s nothing you can do other than speak to your boss.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect someone to not be peeling their skin in the workplace and discarding it on the floor tbh.

I used to do this sometimes but I’d be mortified if someone mentioned it and stop immediately. If he’s someone who doesn’t give a shit you’re just gonna have to avert your eyes and keep your attention on your work.

MillyTheKid · 03/07/2018 11:16

I noticed a guy at work pulling out his nose hairs and then examining them.

PixieCutRegret · 03/07/2018 11:20

YANBU even if it is caused by a MH issue, he could at least dispose of the dirt and skin in the bin.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 03/07/2018 11:22

OP, are you working with my DP?! He does this all the time and it's so irritating. I can hear the "pick, pick" too. Arrggh!

Blondebakingmumma · 03/07/2018 11:26

I do it, not because it’s a horrible habit but because it an anxiety thing. It’s not nice to do in the office though

lenalove · 03/07/2018 11:39

I have dermatillomania (OCD skin picking) and it sounds as though your colleague might, which is probably why he doesn't even realise what he's doing - it's a compulsion beyond his control... Unfortunately I can't think of a way to tell him to stop that wouldn't cause offense

RubyLux · 03/07/2018 11:48

Jesus, people's personal habits can be so disgusting.

eyycarumba · 03/07/2018 11:52

Compulsive skin picking is an anxiety symptom. He probably does it half the time without noticing (as I do, I have to wear plasters on my fingers to stop). Unless he's flicking it in someones direction, not a lot you can say without embarrassing him unless you're very friendly, then maybe offer him some hand cream

Original poster

TheMagnificentEthel · 03/07/2018 13:24

Is the under the nails dirt cleaning anxiety too?

OP posts:

eyycarumba · 03/07/2018 15:54

@TheMagnificentEthel yes, the picking in general is compulsive. If that is what he has he probably picks scabs, and inconsistencies on his skin and scalp too

heatwave2018 · 03/07/2018 16:04

What industry do you work in? If they sit at a desk with a computer that only they use then it's fine but if it's food or product related then I would speak to them about it

MsVestibule · 03/07/2018 16:18

My old manager used to peel his skin off when he came back from holiday (remember when it was normal to peel?) and eat it 🤮.

Original poster

TheMagnificentEthel · 03/07/2018 20:54

It’s nothing food related.

He had a dig in his nose too. I just avoid touching anything he’s touched.

OP posts:

Rebecca36 · 03/07/2018 21:37

Tell him to stop! He needs to learn some social graces.
Yeuch, I wouldn't blame you if you walked out.

Original poster

TheMagnificentEthel · 04/07/2018 13:18

I sat near him at lunch today. I had to bin it as I lost my appetite. I’m too cowardly to say anything.

OP posts:

PretABoire · 04/07/2018 13:22

Sorry I pick the skin around my nails too. It's an anxiety thing and I don't really realise I'm doing it. It always clears up when I go on holiday :(

Sorry that you find it gross, but I find it revolting when people microwave fish in the office - sometimes you just need to look past these things and crack on.

ThreeIsACharm · 04/07/2018 13:24

I have sever anxiety and I pick skin, nails and scabs.
I hate doing it. I pick until I bleed and it hurts. But I can't stop it.
If you speak to him about it, it wont change a thing, he can try to stop but it's like asking an alcoholic not to drink. It take medical intervention etc.
You speaking to him will just highlight his flaw and make him feel more self loathing than he already does.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 04/07/2018 13:33

Not pleasant.... But it's one of disadvantage of working in group offices.....

My particular bete noires:

Loud sniffing which continues for ages

Farting

Continual burping (gawd that's gross...) the bloke used to continually announce 'better out than in'.... No its bloody not !!

Loud crunching /scraping food off metal cutlery...

Someone who would appear never to wear deodorant... It was eye watering...

The woman who used to leave so much spilled tea /coofee on desk it grew mould

Rebecca36 · 04/07/2018 15:16

I think he can stop doing it. I have severe anxiety too and there are things that I might do but I exercise self control. He needs to be told that there are things you don't do when you're with others, picking skin around and biting nails (and flicking the bits) is one as are scratching and doing loud, uncovered yawns. It's a question of self discipline and good manners.

He might be glad to learn how not to do that, it will serve him well for the future.

ThreeIsACharm · 04/07/2018 19:03

Rebecca36 not everyone with anxiety compulsively picks. Only a certain percentage of people with anxiety suffer from Dermatillomania. But it is 100% an illness

Saying stopping picking to someone who has it, is the same as saying be quiet to a person with Tourettes.
It's takes CBT to attempt to stop.

Original poster

TheMagnificentEthel · 04/07/2018 19:53

The worst bit for me is the cleaning under his nails with the other hand. Rolling what he finds into a ball and flicking it.

There is another one who talks with his mouth full of food. I just look down. I shouldn’t have to ask a grown man not to talk with food in his mouth.

OP posts:

Ski40 · 04/07/2018 20:20

Eeew 😖
But I have one to make all of your guts churn. In one of my previous jobs there was a guy who you could only describe as a...cave man. One day I was walking in when a small object went flying past me, narrowly missing me, from the mezzanine. It was a rotten tooth that he had just lost and thought funny to spit out at great speed to the floor below.
I still have nightmares about that guy 😱

Original poster

TheMagnificentEthel · 04/07/2018 22:11

Ski not envy.

OP posts:

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