To have hoped work would ease off slightly

[Terriersandtea]

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby so not really sure what to expect from work. I start mat leave at the end of the month and am finding it tough. My job is high pressure with constant targets, plus a 2 hour commute which isn't helping. I spoke to my manager about reducing my workload slightly (e.g. dropping from 100% to 85%) this was met with a flat out no. Should I push a little harder for this or am I being naive? I just don't know how I'm going to do the next 4 weeks at this pace and have made several mistakes which has really dented my confidence. Any advice would be fab. Thank you.

Sick note 😁

Is it worth bringing your mat leave forward?

Tbh, no employer of mine has reduced my work load. I wouldn't expect it unless it's a manual job. I brought mine forward when I struggled at work with my second. You would hope they would try and help if you were struggling, but I have no idea if it's the norm.

Presume taking annual leave won't reduce work to be done? Take mat leave early if you can't wfh

You could maybe take some of your holiday, if you've got some accrued but untaken. You will continue to accrue holiday whilst you are away on matleave so you should still have some left afterwards.

I think it’s unfair to expect your workload to be reduced unless there’s a medical need/complications. If you can’t cope then bring your maternity leave forward. I do understand how hard it can be those last weeks, so I can sympathise.

Talk to your union rep or ACAS. Pregnancy is a protected characteristic. They can't demand you work at a pace you cant manage.

Mine didn't let me reduce my workload but they did allow me to work from home one day a week for the last few weeks which really helped. Is that a possibility for you?

Be careful just going off sick because if you do that within a certain time of your expected due date they can force you to start your mat leave early.

Your work should have done a risk assessment once they knew you were pregnant - has this happened? If not you could ask for this now and hopefully some reasonable adjustments might come out of that. Agree with others though it might just be easier to take annual leave or start your mat leave early if you’re really struggling.

Is it more difficult to manage because you’re pregnant for some reason? As your post doesn’t indicate that, just that you’re finding it hard to keep up and you’re pregnant. But I can’t see any causation there?

If you are struggling get a sick note or contact HR and ask for temporary adjustments? ie work from home, come in later/leave a little earlier.

Speak to your doctor or midwife. 4 hours commuting per day in this heat at 32 weeks is a bad idea, and your boss is being very unreasonable. Go off work sick to protect your health.

When I was pregnant with dc1 I had a 20ish mile commute, about 45 mins by car, so a lot less than yours. From about 30 weeks we agreed that I could work 2 days a week from home which really helped. Could you try to arrange something similar? I imagine the commute must be a killer right now

Just remembered that on the days I went in to the office I also worked 8.30-4.30 with a 30 minute lunch break instead of 9-5.30 with an hours lunch - leaving an hour early really helped me get through the day.

Worth pointing out when I first asked for these adjustments my boss wasn’t particularly accommodating (particularly about the wfh), but I think when he spoke to HR they basically told him he needed to work with me to implement changes that would help

Oh and don't worry about the responses on here. MN is terrible for competitive pregnancy fitness: "I won the World's Strongest Man competition at 41 weeks with triplets, then followed up with a quick scale of the North Face."

Course you did.

They can force you to take leave at 36 weeks sounds like OP is going off about then anyway.

OP I'm not as far along as you and I've been exhausted since the very beginning of my pregnancy, it didn't ease off and I haven't had that light bulb moment where I'm full of energy. I too have a long commute.

I told my boss that I'm feeling so tired I'm not capable of doing my job properly. His response was to put a plan in place to help me but the plan actually involved more work than normal, there was no understanding at all as to what I was saying.

I started to get stressed and having really bad headaches, saw my GP as paracetamol wasn't touching them and she signed me off, I'm not sure if I'll even go back. I would have started my leave at around 36 weeks anyway, don't even know if I'd be capable of my commute by then.

Yours and baby's wellbeing needs to be absolute priority and I would see my doc if I were you.

Maybe your GP could write you a note that you need to wfh some days?

Is there a reason for this? I.e. Are you not sleeping so more tired at work? Not coping with the heat? Or is it general struggling at the end of
Pregnancy? Something's you may be able to put strategise in place to help, others you just have to ride it.

I ask because I was very lucky during my pregnancies, worked until a few days before I had my babies. I had no problems was as still on the ball so to speak. However on my second a colleague due at the same time, really struggled, and one manager seen it as a 'well if snowy can manage so should you'. It took another manager to step in and explain everyone is different, and has to be treated individually.

It was only then that they had their workload reduced as it was seen better to have someone there 3 1/2 days a week, than no one at all.

This shouldn't have any bearing but is your manager make or female, and if female does she have children?

Sick note - make sure it is entirely unrelated to your pregnancy, so that your sick leave can't trigger your mat leave starting early. Life is too short to get worked up about this kind of thing. And I own my own company, so I really do appreciate the effect it can have on a business! Still, life is too short, if they can't flex to accommodate you.

But remember whatever you decide- you and your baby come first! Don't worry about work, as they've shown, they aren't worried about you.

Everybody had a different pregnancy. If it is too much and is damaging your health you do need to get a GPs advice.
I did similar a similar commute to you, and remember at 7.30pm after doing a full day at work having to explain to a client how I could not do the follow up meeting as at 38weeks pregnant and I was going on maternity leave. I do appreciare that I was lucky and after the first trimester I felt fine (not smug as I made up for that luck with shit later). But just because one person is fine it does not reflect on you. You and the health of your baby have to be your priority. Good luck!

Sick line!

saying sick line unrelated to pregnancy is terrible advice. Pregnancy related conditions are protected so don't count towards your sickness record etc.
They can make you start mat leave early but it's from 36 weeks which sounds like after you want anyway

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm being treated for anaemia and mild SPD but am otherwise I'm okay. My job isn't manual but it's customer facing, medical and quite mentally draining. I'm mainly struggling with the heat (no air con), poor sleep and the long days. WFH isn't an option as it's customer facing and I was trying to avoid a sick note as I am hoping for a home birth and didn't want that to be unnecessary jeopardised as at the weekends I feel much better so I think when I've finished work things will improve.

I'm using all my annual leave to finish at 36 weeks and then mat leave to start on due date but as a few people have said maybe I should bring it forward a couple of weeks. Manager is female but fierce and we just don't see eye to eye on this one. Thanks everyone for your advice, it's good to get other peoples views on it as as first timer!

I think you should contact HR to ask them to ensure the temperature of your workspace is suitable for everyone, if you’re seeing customers/patients and it’s unreasonably hot it could have implications for anyone who is poorly, elderly, pregnant. Have you googled for your trust’s inclement weather policy to see if there are any guidelines?

I can’t see there’s a lot else they can do re the long days tbh as that’s not really related to being pregnant, unless a doctor will state you’re suffering from more exhaustion than usual due to the pregnancy and request reduced hours. Instead of a fit note you can get one that requires adjustments to your role rather than signing you off, for example when I had one years ago the company agreed to let me work 10-2 instead of 8-5 as I was too exhausted physically to be able to do any more yet I wanted to keep working and could just about manage that.

as someone who battled on with 3 pregnancies, i would say go and get a sick note. or self cert for a week to give yourself a break.
nobody will thank you for your effort, nobody will remember it.and a certain kind of manager/colleague will only remember you being difficult by getting pregnant in the first place.