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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay to be in a dance show

53 replies

MildredHubble12 · 02/07/2018 22:41

My DD is almost 4 and attends a weekly ballet class that she enjoys.

There is a show planned for December and we have had a letter to say if she wants to be in it we have to pay £50 in addition to the usual class fees.

This is to pay for a costume and 2 tickets apparently but seems like a lot to me as she will only be in once dance.

Is this usual in dance classes these days or AIBU to think it's a lot of money to perform one dance?

I'm also concerned that if I book the classes from September but say no to the show that the whole term will be working towards a show she won't be performing in.

So wondering if maybe we change classes to another group, or is this standard dance class prices?

I'll attach a copy of the letter.

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 02/07/2018 23:17

If that includes the tickets that's very, very reasonable.

Sorry.

CanaBanana · 02/07/2018 23:17

It seems a lot for two tickets and a costume which is presumably hired. How much are tickets on sale for?

loka · 02/07/2018 23:23

I think it sounds reasonable if tickets are included.just be aware you will have to pay extra to buy DVD from the show(usually£15)plus any photos.it will all add up

LadyWithLapdog · 02/07/2018 23:25

DD's costume was the same or slightly more and it was "shared" between cast A and cast B so she didn't even get to actually keep it. Not that you could do anything with a stylised cowgirl costume she's grown out of since. Anyway, we ditched the whole thing shortly after.

Goldmandra · 02/07/2018 23:29

My DD1's dance teacher did her first show when DD1 was there. I had to pay the full cost of purchasing her costumes but this was just to hire them as the teacher then kept them for future shows. She now charges other parents a similarly high price to hire the costumes from her for her current shows. She is CF in many ways and I was most relieved when DD got bored of the lessons.

Xmasbaby11 · 02/07/2018 23:40

My 4 yo dd also does ballet and is starting reception in Sept. We've decided to stop the ballet as she gets tired and has a nap most days if she can. My older dd was not at all tired when she started school. I used to pick her up from the childminder at 5.30 and she'd say, 'Where are we going next Mummy?'

She's not that into ballet though - it would be a different story if she loved it.

dancinfeet · 02/07/2018 23:40

Ok, most of this will be going to the theatre hire. It's usually extortionate- especially if its a proper theatre rather than a church hall as they will have to pay staffing costs for a theatre manager, lighting and sound technicians etc. Regional theatres can cost thousands of pounds to hire for a day. Decent dance costumes are not cheap either - though without seeing what they will be wearing it's hard to say whether the teacher is making a huge profit or charging cost price.
To give you an idea, my students of that age paid £27 for their first costume that was to keep, £5 hire for a second costume (as mine were in two dances) and £8 per show ticket plus a £5 dress rehearsal fee. I made no profit on the costumes, as the tiny bit that I added on approx £2 per costume went back in to the show for things like stage props for the children to dance with, and was also used towards P & P for returns / swapping costumes that didn't fit. In the build up to my show last year I worked 6am - 3am 7 days a week for 3 weeks straight (not to mention all the planning hours put in that started 8 months before hand) for the princely sum of £200 profit.

If you don't want your child to be in it, don't put them in. But please don't insult the teacher by asking if you child can dance but in a different / cheaper / bought from asda / made at home costume as a previous poster suggested. If you are really unhappy about it ask for a breakdown of the costs i.e. how much is dress rehearsal fee, costume fee, tickets etc.

Dance isn't a particularly cheap hobby but then teachers (at least proper qualified ones) don't just hire a hall and plug in a stereo and rake the profits in. We have lots of outgoings: hall hire, teaching membership (mines £380 a year to 3 different dance exam boards), PRS & PPL music licencing, public liability insurance, staffing costs if they have a receptionist / studio cleaner / other teachers / class assistant, CPD courses (continued professional development - we have to keep our knowledge and training up to date to keep our registered teacher status). Of the £4 / £5 / £6 an hour that you pay the teacher for the lesson, probably less than a third of it ends up directly in the teachers pocket (at least if they are doing it all properly as I have described!). If classes are not mandatory during school holidays, then the wages have to be stretched from 37 weeks a year income over 52 weeks a year, possibly with a little top up from summer workshops if they can get a few people interested in taking part. Its a very hard work job, physically exhausting ( I currently teach 30 hrs a week of classes and dance on and off through all of them), very few teachers actually make a huge profit from it and most do it for the love of it rather than the money. Nothing like gluing sequins on 25 tutus at 2am for zero profit to make you doubt your career choice!! There's nothing wrong with deciding not to take part in a show, but my suggestion would be to buy a couple of tickets and take your child along to watch so that you can see the amount of time effort and energy that the teacher has put into it.

Dance1983 · 03/07/2018 07:37

I'm a dance teacher and if we hire a theatre then that sounds about right. Our local theatre costs 1500.

Based on 70 kids taking part in the show and each child bringing on average 2 people to watch tickets sales would have to be A tenner each to just cover venue hire less tickets sold will put the price up. And costumes are not cheap even simple leotards can be expensive.

Luckily I work in a school large enough to host dance shows in house which helps us keep costs down for parents...we rarely make a profit on the dance shows though.

Themirrorcracked · 03/07/2018 07:52

It's pretty normal I think. DS is 4. We recently paid over £100 for costumes, £50 for extra rehearsals and £15 a ticket for the show. Plus extra parking, catering for back stage and petrol. He was in more than one dance though. It's bloody expensive but they have a great time.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 03/07/2018 12:08

You really can't make the costume yourself, op... That is just not how it works.

5foot5 · 03/07/2018 13:39

Ok, most of this will be going to the theatre hire. It's usually extortionate- especially if its a proper theatre rather than a church hall as they will have to pay staffing costs for a theatre manager, lighting and sound technicians etc. Regional theatres can cost thousands of pounds to hire for a day.

Do 4yo dancers really need to be in a proper theatre with lighting, technicians etc. What's wrong with them being in a church hall?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 03/07/2018 14:17

It won't be just the class of 4 year old's? If it's an actual dance school, they could have a class of pretty much every age group up to 16 and beyond.

Did you really imagine the show would consist of 20 four year olds leaping about on stage?!

southbucks77 · 03/07/2018 14:18

My children have been attending an excellent dance academy for nearly 7 years.

£50 sounds cheap to me if it includes 2 tickets but that depends on the area and the venue.

You definitely can’t make/provide your own costume as all the girls will be in identical ones. The dance teacher will try her best to keep the costs down. We had leotards from China with 100s of sequins sewn on by willing mums.

I loved every minute of it and can’t wait until next year for my daughters 3rd show. I cried my eyes out through the last two. My daughter was a tiny, miniature professional and my son was a natural clown.
The older girls were beautiful and it’s great to see what your child might aspire to.

southbucks77 · 03/07/2018 14:20

BTW never start cheerleading!!!
At £200 for a costume they wear for 5mins plus show entry and travel to a city 100 miles away. Now that’s an expensive hobby!

SnapCards · 03/07/2018 14:23

My DD's dance school is charging nearly double for this terms fees, for the extra rehearsals. Plus £50x3 for costumes and then £15 per ticket to watch! All in the show's going to cost me nearly £500!!

£50 sounds like a bargain.

NoSquirrels · 03/07/2018 14:27

For a whole-school show in a proper theatre, the tickets will be £15ish each to cover hire fees. Then a ‘costume’ of £20 is not so unreasonable.

Ours is a little different - £30 costume charge, but all but the smallest are usually in 2+ numbers, all costumes provided. Then tickets available direct from the theatre to buy.

Your letter does state any profit will go to charity.

Your DD will really get a lot out of performing. But if at 4 you want to skip it, talk to the teacher about starting again in January.

Original poster
MildredHubble12 · 03/07/2018 15:14

Thanks for the advice everyone! I think I'll just have to accept that she is entering the age of hobbies rather than just going to a class to keep her busy for an hr!

It sounds quite reasonable compared to what some of you have paid so I will just go for it.

Thanks x

OP posts:
taxi4ballet · 03/07/2018 15:29

£50? Where is it, the London Palladium?

That's just taking the mickey to charge that much for 4-year-olds. They will be on stage about two minutes, and half of them won't even know which way round to face.

AnnUnderTheFryingPan · 03/07/2018 15:35

It’s a pretty good experience, not just at 4 but being part of a dance school, seeing (and working with) the older dancers.

My DD has been dancing since she was 2, and at 13 it’s a huge part of her life.

MigGril · 03/07/2018 15:45

I guess it depends on where they hold the show. Our kids dance teacher it's great she really keeps costs down. They higher a hall with a proper stage. £6 a ticket then each costume hire is normally quite cheap deepening on what they are doing sometimes they don't even need to hire anything. But they always put on a great show.

We are the dance school in the centre of town in comparison is very expensive and very competitive with them right from day one. Puts some children of I think.

SweetSummerchild · 03/07/2018 15:47

Dance is a very expensive and very time consuming hobby.

My friend’s daughter dances 6 days a week year’s alternate between extortionate shows with multiple costume changes (watched only by the parents of the dancers) and competitions complete with ‘pre-competition special lessons’ every couple of weeks.

Then there’s all the exams and preparatory special lessons.

I dread to think how much money they spend on it. Even worse, however, is the fact that the girl never gets invited to their peer group’s birthday parties any more because she’s never able to attend. Life simply revolves around dance now.

BarbarianMum · 03/07/2018 15:49

If you don't want her to do the show then definitely stop or suspend lessons bw now and then. They will be doing a lot of practising toward it and even though you and the school won't care if you do the performance or not, your dd almost certainly will after all the build up.

Welcome to the wonderful world of dance btw. If haemorraging money is a problem for you, maybe get her to take up a nice, cheap hobby like pony riding or sailing. Grin

fabulous01 · 03/07/2018 15:51

That is about right.
If you don't fancy doing it for whatever reason don't pay. It isn't compulsory in class my girl attends

I am in 2 minds for ours ...

Cismyass · 03/07/2018 15:54

DD(4)'s ex-dance school charged £30 for a £12 supermarket Trolls costume and £20 per ticket. Did i pay that? Did i fuck! One dance they were in if you can call it dancing at 4 years old

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 03/07/2018 15:58

It cost someone I know £250 for her dd to be a chick!!
She had to make the outfit and felt obliged to book 2 seats for each night..
And they had to pay travel +refreshments 'donation'!!

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