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Original poster

Divorce settlement

11 replies

Jal63 · 02/07/2018 21:48

My husband left after 30 years of marriage and I want to get a financial settlement so that I can move on. Does anyone know if it is possible to get a legal financial settlement before the actual divorce? My husband is being difficult about agreeing a figure and I don't know whether to go the legal route or just try and get a figure between us - any advice? My hb is self employed and he will hide his financial dealings as much as he can.

OP posts:
seventhgonickname · 02/07/2018 21:53

Legal all the was and a financial settlement before decree absolute.If he's being difficult it's because you say OK to some ridiculous low figure just to be done.Get a solicitor.Sadly with self ployed people they do cook the books during divorce(speaking from experience).

kitkatsky · 02/07/2018 21:57

You will only get the legal min without legal advice. If you want this for free post on legal

GabriellaMontez · 02/07/2018 22:05

You need a lawyer. It will be the best money you ever spend.

Original poster
Jal63 · 03/07/2018 06:34

Will the lawyer be able to force him to disclose his bank account details etc as I know that he has never declared the true figure of what he earns when he has completed his business accounts for tax purposes. He is saying that he isn't going to get a solicitor but is going to represent himself, to save money! I think he is doing this so that a solicitor doesn't give him advice that he doesn't want to hear, like be honest!!

OP posts:
RainySeptember · 03/07/2018 07:06

The financial settlement is usually done as part of the divorce settlement, all finalised before applying for the decree absolute.

It doesn't sound like he will be reasonable enough to come to a fair agreement between yourselves.

If you don't have many assets, and know what a fair settlement would be, and by some miracle he is amenable to it, you could do it yourself and save thousands in legal fees.

If you are looking at carving up a house, pension, savings/investments and seeking maintenance you would be daft not to get proper legal advice. As part of the process he will be expected to fully disclose, which includes providing pay slips. You should encourage him to get legal advice too, because his own solicitor will be advising him to fully disclose and suggesting what is fair too.

Xenia · 03/07/2018 07:18

Most people agree the finances at the same time - we did - with no court hearings as everything was joint and I did both our tax returns so we all knew everything (and I am self employed but hide nothing and he even did some of my admin so it was much easier for us although we still each used solicitors to do some negotiation of the sum I had to pay him - in our case long marriage both worked full time but I earned a lot more so paid him rather than vice versa).

May be you can pretty much guess what he has as you've been together so long eg you can probably work out the value of your house if you have one and what mortgage is on it. You probably have seen his pensions statements if he has a pension and yours. Then that only leaves what cash do you have both have in the bank or other savings although either of you may have hidden all that I suppose from the other. After that once you know your joint net assets the question is will you pay him or he pay you spousal maintenance or can one of you afford a clean break to pay the other off once and for all (that is what I did with my husband - paid off, clean break so he could make no future financial claims for maintenance on me). Or as in many marriages can't afford a clean break and instead the higher earner pays the lower some spousal maintenance for a time.

trojanpony · 03/07/2018 07:18

Legal all the way.

My mum “discussed it sensibly” and got fucked. She was the bread winner and aged 67 has a mortgage on a flat.
He has a 6 bed house and hasn’t worked in over a decade Hmm

ohreallyohreallyoh · 03/07/2018 07:22

How big is his businesss? Yes, he will need to provide bank statements etc as part of the divorce process. However, if he chooses not to, it will be up to you to prove that the accounts exist - go through house with a fine tooth comb, make copies, put everything back.

In the case of big business, it is possible to employ a forensic accountant to go through accounts. A solicitor would advise whether this is reasonable in your case. Do not accept anything he offers and do make sure it is all legally signed off.

longwayoff · 03/07/2018 07:24

Lawyer. Lawyer. Lawyer. Lawyer. Now. Today. Good luck.

Lethaldrizzle · 03/07/2018 07:25

Sometimes common sense trumps 'rights' - unless you're Rosa parks

Lethaldrizzle · 03/07/2018 07:26

Opened wrong thread!

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