To sometimes HATE being a mother?

[EllieRosesMammy]

I'll start this by saying my daughter is the best thing to ever happen to me. I do love her completely and couldn't be without her. But lately I've started to dislike her. She's usually a happy baby but when she does cry it's extremely loud and dramatic and honestly when she cries I feel no sympathy, just anger and like I could hurt her. I recently suffered a miscarrige too so I don't know if my hormones are playing havoc because of that but you'd think it would make me feel closer to my daughter, but it seems to have done the opposite. Sometimes lately I feel like I want to just run away and not be a mum anymore, which is ridiculous because when I spend more than an hour away from her I start to miss her, so I know I could never really run away.

I've read about post natal depression and I don't think I have that. But is there such a thing as post natal anger? I feel like the worst mum in the world for even feeling like this and I darent speak to a doctor incase they use it against me and involve mental health services or something.

Oh you poor thing. What a lot to be going through. You’ve taken the first step by writing it down & sharing it.
Have you thought about getting in touch with an organisation that supports women who’ve suffered miscarriage? It’s important you get support, I think, so you know you’re not alone.

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

I’m so sorry that you feel like this. You really must seek professional help. Anger and depression are closely linked. I know you love her but you mentioned that sometimes you feel like hurting her. You know this is not right. Please talk to someone

Sorry - posted link without message!
Hopefully someone like The Miscarriage Association can help?
It’s so common to go through a period of almost hating your child (a lot more common than people like to admit), and coupled with your recent loss it’s understandably heightened these emotions.

No-one will use it against you to take your daughter away if you seek help. Professional bodies will want to support you to be the best mom you can be. I do hope you seek support.

I think depression can manifest as anger, so it could still be that.

I love my son to bits but I hated the first year with him and felt completely out of my depth. He had health issues and didn't sleep much or nap much plus I took ages to heal from his birth. All of this added up to me feeling tired, stressed, angry, resentful. In hindsight i was pretty close to depressed, just not the depression usually portrayed in the media.

The miscarriage you suffered could totally be the reason you feel as you do but whatever the trigger you must talk to friends or a counsellor. In the meantime if you feel like you might hurt her put her somewhere safe and leave the room for a few minutes until you calm down. Then go back to her.

Thanks for everyone's replies and being so understanding. I think I really do need to seek some professional help now, I've felt like this for a while but just lately with everything that's happened it's gotten worse. I guess I'll try and make a doctors appointment tomorrow, I've never had to see a therapist so I don't really know where to start. X

Your GP will guide you in the right direction. You’re doing the right thing making an appointment tomorrow. Good luck & I hope you’re feeling stronger soon x

I am not a parent, but I have suffered from depression and anxiety and I know how they can manifest as anger and irritability, so I applaud you for a) writing this down and b) looking for help.

Good luck and strength to you.