AIBU to think I need to leave my job?

[PeoniesGinandBags]

I've been a secondary school teacher for nearly 20 years and have a child that's 5.

Put simply I just cannot cope at work anymore. I am part-time apparently... 4 days a week but you wouldn't know it. Last week I worked my 4 days in school until 5:30 (getting in at 8), attended two evening events that went on until just after half 8, spent today (my day off) planning for this week's lesson as well as spending all day Saturday and 2 hours on Sunday night on school work. I just can't cope with the workload anymore.

When I've spoken to friends that are teachers they all feel pretty much the same as me and seem to be doing similar hours. My non-teacher friends think I'm crazy for even thinking of leaving and say about the school holidays. The thing is, even with the 6 weeks coming up, I'll be in 4 days for exam results and I need about 10 days to plan and probably 2 or 3 to get my classroom all sorted out and displays up etc.

It feels like the most thankless job in the world. Whenever someone isn't happy it feels like they're quick to complain but nothing is ever said about the daily lunchtimes you give up to talk to a child who's upset about things at home, needs a bit of extra help, wants a reference for a part-time job, is having friendship issues etc etc.

I feel like I'm giving nothing to my own child :(

I went to the GP as I feel like I'm drowning and said 'no' to time off.... I teach all exam classes and I don't want to let them down. I'm taking anti depressants and beta blockers to help manage the rising waves of anxiety.

Help please MNers. Am I being soft???

You're definitely not being soft. I'm a teacher too and know exactly how you feel.

Nothing is more annoying than people throwing the "6 week holiday" excuse at you when in reality you only have 1/2 weeks of actual holiday because of the work that needs to be put in for the next year.

I have no advice because I am having the same problems but sending hugs.

I know a few people who originally dropped to 4 days have gone back to 5 days because they were effectively doing 5 days work in 4 days, that could be an option?

I think there are very few jobs which are worth taking so much time away from your family for, OP. From your description, it sounds like you're giving almost everything to your job and it's taking a toll on you.

Perhaps you could still take up your GP's offer on being signed off poorly for a bit? Take some real time away from everything - no marking, planning, emails etc - and see how you feel. I think that not stepping back means you won't be able to take a full view of your situation. That's what might be needed to decide what to do next; give up teaching completely, drop to 2 or 3 days, stay put, change to a different age group or sector etc.

Sending best wishes to you.

There are other jobs which allow for term time working, don't feel beholden to the job just for that. I am sure over 2 decades you have picked up plenty of transferable skills, go for it :)

Hi I’m a primary dep head and Senco.

I’ve got no advice other than you’re not being soft. The stats of teachers leaving speak for themselves.

Remember you’re making a difference and remember it’s not all on you. You’re not alone.

Can you speak to someone at school? I would want my team to come to me and we would solve this together.

When I was a full time class teacher/Senco and returned to work after my first dd I found it all very overwhelming - my headteacher sat me down and showed me some great tricks on how to prioritise my time and what was important and what wasn’t (had little impact etc) this helped me so much and I felt relieved.

I hope you keep teaching, we can’t afford to lose experienced teachers like yourself!

I would make you a cup of tea and a jammy dodger in the staff room if I could. X

You're all really lovely - thank you.

I went back full time after my maternity leave and then reduced down to 3 days a few years later. I'm back on 4 days now and in September I've agreed to go back full time - as some of you have mentioned, I felt as though I 'might as well' as I'm spending my day off on school work as it is.

It's making me ill. I wake at 4am most mornings in a blind panic and can't breathe. Last week I phoned the GP in tears at about 10 in the morning... luckily she saw me that day and gave me a prescription to try and help, also referred me for some CBT.

I just feel like a failure. I work so hard but it's never enough and yes, it really gets me down when people go on about how easy it must be, all the holidays etc etc. I have huge groups of teenagers everyday, exam prep, coursework, results analyses, individual plans to write for the 70% of my learners with additional needs, meetings every week, and one initiative after another.

Today a parent complained about a colleague having a day off to attend a funeral. I mean... what's happening to the world?

Sorry to moan, I just literally feel like I'm off a cliff edge :(