To expect exH to take children on a weekend evening?

[Everytimeiseeher]

Thanks for reading

I left my very abusive marriage 18 months ago. Exh takes he kids one weekday evening until 7.30 and one full day 10-6 on a sat in which I sometimes work. The dc are 13 and 11.

He has recently asked for overnight sleepovers but only in the weekday evening. This doesn’t suit me as I wouldn’t rather it was for a break for me. I NEVER go out I never socialise much and am feeling a bit depressed. I’d prefer weekend overnights for a break, a lie in and some general downtime. My life is a circle of rushing around to gymnastics/football work. But my exh is clever and realises weekend sleepovers will give me some much needed time to myself.
He is going to go to court to ask. I will need a good reason as to why the week day doesnt suit me. The courts are all for rights for fathers and arranging the currenct contact to suit me was hard. I can’t say to the court that the weekend is better for me because I want an early night and a lie in/ I want to go for a meal with friends and nobody’s gors out on a Tuesday. I will need to play it that the Friday sleepover is more beneficial for the kids. Please help my brain is an abused mush and I can’t take Alex anymore of my exh twisted difficultness.

surely the children need stability during the week so that their school routine isn't interrupted?

It means they get to spend a weekend day with their father and everyone has to do much less rushing round.

You shouldn’t even have to justify why it should be an overnight weekend, it’s obvious you want a bloody rest. I’d just want to say it should be a weekend so ex can see how hard it is to have a solid 24 hours and not just pack them off to school after they’ve slept over.

I suppose it all depends on the judge though. Sorry I don’t have any experience or advice but you have my sympathies for how frustrating this situation must be.

Eow and a night during the week is normal. He will have to justify why he doesn't want them not you!!

You could go down the fairness route. One overnight during the week (his preference) and one during the weekend (yours).

If they spent the night during the week then they would have to always think about where their homework, school uniform, P.E kit is. With the 13 year old coming up to GCSE it’s not going to be a great routine to adapt to revision or school work. Play it that the kids would have much more fun on the weekend where they can relax knowing they don’t have to rush anywhere in the morning/ that they have forgotten anything- meaning they get to enjoy their time with their dad more.

Also, at 13 the child can have some say in when they would like to see their dad. Ask them what they would prefer. If 13 year old says weekend then you can use that in court.

yes the baggage they have had to take when they’ve stayed a school night is unreal...school uniform for next day/clothes for after school/different school books for the Next School days/PE kit and football kit. Not to mention I get a phone call and have to drop off anything I’ve forgotten. Then I have to back again the day after school after the sleepover to get all the stuff it’s more stress for me.
I’ll say the interruption of homework/routine of a school night is too upsetting. My problem is the kids want to go as he’s made it sound great so if the courts want their opinion as they are older he will get what he wants.

The courts attitude towards abuse survivors is nothing short of appalling. Hopefully they will side with you. Otherwise its just perpetuated abuse through thr coutt. Good luck op