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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be wary of my relatives? **Title edited by MNHQ**

10 replies

Raspberryripplechoc · 02/07/2018 08:10

Bit of background. This is my DM side of the family. Our GF died at Xmas time. There are 4 children. My DM, 2 aunties and my uncle. My DG is still alive and fully with it and mobile.
Just before my GF died my DM and 1 of her sis fell out over various reasons. None of which were my DM fault. My DM didn't really speak to her other sis before all this either. The sis my DM fell out with used to be so close and she said she was her best friend so she's pretty upset about falling out with her.
Anyway my mum received a short text saying they were going to scatter GF ashes either just before fathers day or on his birthday a few weeks later. In the text it then said they had settled on just before fathers day. They had not asked my DM for any input and they all knew she was on holiday but did not rearrange. So they scattered them without my DM there. My DM is hurt beyond belief and distraught that they would do that even if they did fall out.
The reason I ask AIBU to be wary is because of the two sisters of my DM behaviour. While my GF was laying dead in the hallway waiting for pullbearers to turn up my aunties husband's began going through his papers. If I had of been there I would have told him to stop. But no one did as of what just happened. He has then taken it upon himself along with my auntie to arrange all GM financial affairs. She sat with GM alone while the will was read and GM had to sign. My GM has told my DM that this auntie has her bank card as she needs to sort something but this was about a month ago. There's a few other things too but this would be too long.
Before all this I would have trusted this auntie we were fairly close. But after some other stuff my DM has told me about her and her husband then I'm not so sure. My DM has told my GM to watch her money.
AIBU to be weary? Is there anything I can do to stop my GM being screwed over?

OP posts:
WaggyMama · 02/07/2018 08:33

Families do strange things in times of grief. Some people cry and others want to organised things. Were your aunts and uncle trying to find the funds for the cost of the funeral maybe? If your DGM and DGF had joint accounts they would frozen until probate.

*it's pallbearer

Maelstrop · 02/07/2018 08:35

Speak to your gm and get the card back. If your gm is compus mentus, there is no need for anyone to have access to her bank and this is financial abuse.

WowLookAtYou · 02/07/2018 08:39

Sorry, I misunderstood your entire post, as weary means tired. I think you mean wary, which means cautious.
Off to re-read.

Singlenotsingle · 02/07/2018 08:41

Talk to GM and make an appointment at the bank for her to go in and discuss. She needs a fresh bank card issued, at the very least.

Singlenotsingle · 02/07/2018 08:42

And a stop put on the old one.

Raspberryripplechoc · 02/07/2018 08:59

Sorry about the spelling mistakes, will admit I'm not the best speller.
Yes people do strange things in grief but from what I learned from my DM I'm not so sure. My auntie and her husband committed benefit fraud when me and my cousins were little. I would have never of thought that from her and it shocked me.
Like a PP has said there is no need for anyone else.to have her bank card. My GM says there has been no money taken from her account but I'm not so sure she really knows what's happening with the bank as she's never had a debit card before.
As for the other auntie she has taken various expensive possessions of my grandparents. Of which my GM knows about but I think she's out to get money too.
I'm just gobsmacked they are behaving this way. I would never dream of doing to my Dsis or DM.

OP posts:
Raspberryripplechoc · 02/07/2018 11:31

Is there anything else I can do to ensure my GM is not taken advantage of? Or anywhere I can get advice from?

OP posts:
TorviBrightspear · 02/07/2018 11:51

I'd get her solicitor involved, and maybe look at getting possible for your DM, to stop the possible problems.

Raspberryripplechoc · 02/07/2018 12:13

I'm not sure GM has a solicitor. And get possible what for DM??

OP posts:
Raspberryripplechoc · 02/07/2018 18:37

??

OP posts:
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