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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure how much longer I can tolerate this

19 replies

Metoodear · 01/07/2018 16:21

Posted this the other day but even after last weekends events the the lies continue to just roll off his lips I really desperately seeking advise of how I can manage to live with somone who just lies constantly it’s just to much asked him to put somthing in the bin for me just asked him if he put the item in the bin claimed he didn’t understand what was ment by bin Angry when I challenged him he just shrugged 🤷‍♀️

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3293276-Talk-to-me-about-when-your-teen-lied-and-it-had-dire-consequences

OP posts:
OP posts:
Original poster
Metoodear · 01/07/2018 16:22

His first instinct is to lie lie and lie again anyone else dealing with a teen or young adult who doses this

OP posts:
AlphaBravo · 01/07/2018 16:25

Isn't it opositional defiance disorder? He needs to see a specialist.

Original poster
Metoodear · 01/07/2018 16:29

He’s 18

My friend thinks this is his GDD

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 01/07/2018 16:34

Oppositional defiance disorder!? OMG! There's a fancy label for everything now, isn't there?

Queenofthestress · 01/07/2018 16:43

You say he's got GDD, what age is he developmentally?

eloisesparkle · 01/07/2018 16:49

What is GDD please ?

SluttyButty · 01/07/2018 17:01

Global developmental delay is usually picked up when they're little isn't it? My son was diagnosed with that age 2 before his ASD diagnosis. I am assuming you mean global developmental delay?

SluttyButty · 01/07/2018 17:04

Ignore what I said, I've reread your post properly now.

Branleuse · 01/07/2018 17:05

global developmental delay

mumsastudent · 01/07/2018 17:06

?Global Developmental Delay - so the lad has LD? Maybe aggressive? Maybe physical issues like cerebral palsy to some degree or dyspraxia? probably slow thinking pattern or difficulty "switching" his attention? ( I know a lot of ASD who have similar issues without the LD or sometimes with...etc

Fattymcfaterson · 01/07/2018 17:06

Oh fuck off singlenotsingle

ShawshanksRedemption · 01/07/2018 17:11

What support are you and your DS getting OP? I mean in the way of mental health etc.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 01/07/2018 17:34

Well, there’s certainly a label for what you are, Fattymcfat Hmm. Who appointed you thread monitor?

Sammyham88 · 01/07/2018 17:58

Just read your previous post, you and his father aren't together anymore are you? Do you think he's doing this for attention? Especially if he has GDD it might have taken a bigger toll on him then you realise and all these lies and acting dumb is his way of getting attention/ avoiding real life.

It comes across that you almost resent your son, maybe he's picking up on this? The lying about the gang when it was self inflicted and the bin incident might be his way of trying to get out of trouble.

Have you tried sitting down with him calmly and talking about this all or arranging some counselling?

LadyPeacock · 01/07/2018 18:01

Could it be a form of PDA where he is living in a fantasy land to avoid demands and taking responsibility for anything?

In a PDA 4 year old you might say ‘put your shoes on’ and they would say:
I’ve already go them on
They are invisible ones, they are on you just can’t see them
I can’t put those shoes on because I have my invisible ones on
My hands are broken so I can’t swap the shoes

It sounds a bit like the 18yo version of that.

Original poster
Metoodear · 01/07/2018 18:25

ShawshanksRedemption

What support are you and your DS getting OP? I mean in the way of mental health etc.
he did have councilling also he is on floxotine he was in a pretty bad way last year with depressionmy GP has been really amazing the AD have helped loads but the lies keep a coming

Sammyham88
we feel very resentful especially when a stranger rings me in the middle of the night and tells me my son is bleeding and has been attacked by a gang I was crying out of my mind husband jumped in the car in his pants to get to him frantic was dh let us call the police the whole fucking lot and it was all a fucking lie I feel sorry for the poor people who he flagged down
Also me and ex have never been together never lived together he has only ever known dh as dad

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 01/07/2018 20:05

But this is more than just depression. Is his mental health (the lies) being explored further? He sounds quite vulnerable (and you and your DH along with it).

Sammyham88 · 02/07/2018 00:42

It all sounds really chaotic and like it's taking a huge toll on you which I completely understand, when you're receiving calls like that of course you're going to be out of your mind with worry but being so stressed isn't going to help the situation as, like I said previously, are you sure this isn't a cry for help? Have you tried having a really calm, sit down conversation with him where you ask, without trying to pass judgement on his previous actions but addressing them and asking him plainly why he keep lying? There's so many issues here that sound like they aren't being addressed because you're all too stressed out.

He's still a young kid, having depression at that age must be a lot to deal with and sounds like he could do with some continued support through counselling to try and sort his issues out.

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