I know I am. But boy does it sting

[Hisnamesblaine]

Just been informed today that MIL and FIL go on their 3rd foreign holiday this year 7 days after I'm due my 2nd child. NO way do I begrudge them holidays etc. BUT I can't help but compare to how they went about preparing for BIL's 2 babies. Think booking a week off work for both due dates to be on call for impending birth.... childcare issues etc. Even phoning in sick for their shifts to help out etc. What really stings is my family live in a completely different part of the UK hundreds of miles away amd my own mother is in ill health so cant travel down this time. and as my due date is end of August I also have the concern that DS1 will be starting reception and there is the real possibility that if I'm overdue we will desperately need help with school runs etc. There has been issues in the past with BIL and favourtism etc. Which again causes me massive resentment towards all the in laws but generally I keep my head down and try to enjoy my little family. But to be told today at a family event that it's the summer and I will definitely have my early labour as I'm very big and "they can just Tell". Plus the hotel they have just came back from was so nice that they went straight back to the travel agents to book it for september just makes me mad with resentment and worry! Btw they can easily go anytime of the year so it's not a case of it was the only time they could go. AIBU to just expect a little consideration.

I can understand why you’re hurt, YANBU.
However, you can’t change how they think so it really is a waste of your time and upset to wind yourself up about it. You do have time between now and August to get DS used to a couple of new people. Do you have any friends or neighbours who you could ask? I would be very happy to help out neighbours or other parents I know if they asked but probably wouldn’t volunteer myself for fear of interfering.
I have done the school (and nursery) run with a newborn in tow and honestly it was absolutely fine. Even if he was fussy before we left the movement of the car or pram distracted him long enough for me to get everyone there on time. Just be really organised the night before and don’t worry if baby does the school run in PJs! It’s lovely having time with just baby once the older ones are at school too.

I do understand and I agree it does seem a little unkind / thoughtless when they live so near and could help you. Could your sister in law help out at all?

Also many pfb are late but subsequent aren't!!
If that helps!!

Honestly I think you’re worrying about it too much, I understand the hurt that your PIL are treating you and your DH differently than your BIL, that is shit yes but that is a separate issue

You will manage a way around the childcare, you just will, I once went round to a neighbours house who I barely knew at 11ish at night until early morning to sit with their sleeping kids as she had gone into early labour and her parents who were meant to come and help with the older kids were in Scotland
The DH was in a right panic at the door because they needed to go right now and there was no-one else around to help
People will help if you ask, of course they will

Also you are going to have to be prepared to do a lot more for the baby by yourself and let DH sort the older one, it won’t be like the first time where he can wait on you and bring tea and biscuits and do all the cooking and cleaning, the second (and third and fourth) newborn stage is very very different than the first

It is the difference bothering you more than anything I think, which is perfectly reasonable.

Could you afford to buy in some help?