AIBU to be a bit miffed by this mum?

[Thisismyhappyface101]

DD2 (11yo) went for a sleepover over her friend's house last night. I put some sunscreen in her bag for her to put on today and reminded her to keep applying it.

Well it seems as though DD2 put some on this morning and then promptly forgot about reapplying it then spent the whole day in their garden in & out of the paddling pool and squirting each other with hoses. As a result she's come home tonight with really bad sunburn on her shoulders .

Now I know DD2's old enough to take responsibility for putting her own sunscreen on and I've spoken to her about how silly she's been but I do think the friend's mum could have reminded her to keep reapplying given what they were doing all day.

For the record, the mum doesn't apply sunscreen to her DD as she thinks kid's should be exposed to the sun to get their vitamin D fix and that too much sunscreen gives kid's rickets . However her DD is more olive skinned than mine so is less prone to burning.

Yes it definitely is lesson learnt for DD. She's never been sunburnt before so I guess she just didn't think of the consequences of what would happenof she didn't reapply. I'm guessing she's not going to forget again

I took Guides to camp last weekend and reminded them all to apply sunscreen and bagged them about drinking enough water.

Yes they know to do it and should remember but they’re excited and busy and they forget, so as the adult responsible for them, I remind them. Hell, I forgot to reapply it on myself after I had a shower and I’m a grown up!

YANBU to be a bit miffed but YWBU to have a go at someone who looked after your child for something that is also your child’s own fault. DD will be fine and hopefully learn her lesson and make sure she remembers in the future

She is 11 not 15, at that age I would expect the parent to remind them to put the suncream on. But you say that she does not bother about suncream anyway.

I nagged them... I did not bag them!

YANBU - I think at 11 they still need reminding about suncream. I took my 11 year old DS and his friend swimming this afternoon and the first thing I did was make sure both of them put suncream on.

Yanbu. Although 11 is old enough to remember I would still remind them to reapply it in this weather. The mum was irresponsible.

I think i would have made a point of asking the hosting mum to keep an eye on DD and make sure she is topping up her sunscreen if I knew she didn't do it with her own kids. I'm super vigilant with DD because she's got fair skin like me and burns easily but if you're not used to having to keep checking your kids for sunscreen it's easy to forget to apply sunscreen to them.
Your poor DD though, sunburn really hurts!

Could the mum have mentioned it and DD didn't do it? (My DD has lovely friends, polite, kind etc but can still ignore me occasionally)

Or could she have missed a bit? The only time a I have had sunburn is when I missed one shin by mistake.

I agree mum should remind kids about suncream, but may not be on her radar if not doing her own, I imagine she didn't notice.

I would have asked the Mum to remind DC to apply sunscreen, because I know mine would forget as sure as the sun rises in the morning.

If you knew the other mum didn't use it, it was your job to take precautions that your own child wouldn't forget.

I don't often use sunscreen in the UK and if I do it is lowish factor, like 15 or 10. I don't need it and my child (who is also 11) doesn't need it apart from maybe the first two or three sunny days of the year. Neither of us burn and neither of us change colour much in the UK. I would probably try to remember to remind paler children to put it on in this situation but I might forget because it's just not really on my radar. I'd welcome a reminder from the parent, though, and this would help me remember!

Off topic but I'm always amazed at the amount of posters who think that only those with pale skin need sun cream. I know five people who have had skin cancer and all of them have olive skin, never burnt only tanned.

I'd expect a parent to remind my child to put on a top/apply cream if they were out in the sun. I'd feel awful if a child in my care got burnt regardless of whether they were old enough to put their own cream on or not.

It’s awful to be sunburnt and very dangerous health wise. But you can’t blame the mum for taking a back seat when your DD is old enough to be applying and remembering the suncream. Use this situation as an opportunity to educate your DD on the dangers of sunburn and tell her how often she needs to be applying suncream.

Notso - I agree. I’ve got a few friends with olive skinned children who think it’s fine for them not to wear any suncream. They can still get sun damage without being burnt.

Did you specifically ask the mum to check your dd if she had reapplied and remind her to put some on? The mother isn’t in the watch and check zone and probably didn’t notice. I think you needed to be very specific. She should have thought to do this anyway. But not everyone is very observant. We all have different skill sets.

I have an 11 year old.
It’s his responsibility, he forgets so I text him when he needs to apply more.
There’s no way he would remember by himself.

Op you would have reminded child guests because its what you need to do witgyour own child and you believe in it.

The mum didnt do anything wrong. Its the 11 years old responsibility. Lessin learnt hopefully!