AIBU with my Exes Mother

[MummyofThree91]

I am a single Mum with twin five-year-olds and a toddler who's almost a year and a half old. Their father doesn't see them, he makes no effort to come over. But his Mum and Step-Dad take them every other weekend so I can have some time to clean and get on top of things

Yesterday I took them to Nanny's house and mentioned that my DS had an ear infection. He's not slept since Wednesday, he's got a very high temp and he's literally on and off crying all night. Despite me telling him he could stay at home, he was very persistent to go and see Nanny and Pops.

She said it'll be fine, she's nursed two girls and a boy through sickness and she can take care of her Grandchildren.

I got a call this Morning from my Exes Sister saying that her Mum didn't give my Son any pain relief through the night. She let him bawl his eyes out from the time he went to bed at eight pm until Six Am - Which is two hours before he normally wakes on a Saturday Morning

I'm livid and I told her I was livid too, to which she said "You're overreacting, it's good to let them cry it out, he was only faking it" To which I told her that my Son is not a liar, I don't raise my children to lie

AIBU to stop her seeing them until she apologises

Yes you would be, they have a strong bond with her by the sound of it.

You have it out with her again and then she doesn't get them if they are ill, overnight.

"But his Mum and Step-Dad take them every other weekend so I can have some time to clean and get on top of things"

That just leaped out at me. Surely they take them to develop a good relationship, as well?

It’s a valuable relationship you don’t want to damage but maybe try to talk to her calmly about minimum expectations etc.

Yanbu. She neglected your child's basic needs. Id not have her look after them again unless she demonstrates tbat she understands how neglectful this is and promises not to do it again.

Ive just re read. And i am incredulous. She left him crying in pain from an ear infection for 10 hours. WTF

I would bollock her arse. He cried for ten hours, that’s not ‘faking it’. Possibly she might be allowed to see him again if she apologised.

If that’s true, why on Earth didn’t ex’s sister do something

Update on the story: Exes Mum is not allowed to see the children anymore - She won't apologise even though she's in the wrong. My Exes Step-Father completely bollocked her in front of her friends at their weekly book club. Even my exes real father bollocked her.

As for my exes sister - Someone asked why she couldn't do anything - Well because she's an end of life carer and works from five at night until eight thirty in the morning most of the time. She is the one who told me what happened though and did give my son his medicine

Thank you everyone for the feedback though. It was most helpful

That was a strange thing for her to do. Is she usually anti medicine? Aside from your little boy being in pain, it couldn't have been very restful listening to him crying all night.

Obviously, you must put the welfare of your children first but its seems a shame it has come to this. I am a mother of twins and I know they can be a real challenge without factoring in a third child and an absent ex. Do you think she will calm down and realise what she has done?

It's a very odd thing to do. He was faking? For 10 hours? And ear ache is really painful, poor lad.

What she did was neglectful, but I think banning her from seeing them is a bit of an over reaction. Maybe just don't let her look after them again?