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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave 8 yr old at home with 13 year old?

38 replies

babysitting283 · 30/06/2018 20:53

My 11 year old will need collecting from a club once a week at 8.15pm from September. My youngest child who will be 8 years 11 months by then is always in bed asleep by 7.30pm and has never been known to wake and is a very sensible child. Would I be unreasonable to leave my 13 year old (who will be 13 years 8 months by then) in charge of this one younger sibling at home whilst I drive less than 2 miles to do pick up? Unfortunately there is no one to lift share with. Should take 5 minutes each way maximum as no traffic at 8.15pm. Otherwise realistically youngest child will not get to bed until almost 9pm and will be tired for the rest of the school week as they are a very active child who needs their sleep.

OP posts:
Neolara · 30/06/2018 20:58

I have no problem doing leaving my 8yo with my 13yo. They are both very sensible.

EarlessToothlessVagabond · 30/06/2018 21:03

As long as the 13 yo is happy about it and has instructions for emergencies then it's fine.

implantsandaDyson · 30/06/2018 21:06

I do it, I've three of almost the same ages.

AnotherCentristDad · 30/06/2018 21:10

Perfectly fine, IMO. Assuming that both are as mature as you'd expect for their ages.

Halfblindbunny · 30/06/2018 21:13

Yes. I leave my 11 and 8 year old home alone and they are always fine.

rainingcatsanddog · 30/06/2018 21:15

I would do it too.

KittyVonCatsworth · 30/06/2018 21:18

I would do it too x

DNAwrangler · 30/06/2018 21:26

Why wouldn't that be ok?

HarryLovesDraco · 30/06/2018 21:26

Absolutely fine!

Pastaagain78 · 30/06/2018 21:27

Very impressed your 8 year old is asleep at 7.30! Even if they weren’t and were reading quietly in bed it would still be fine. I would just make sure your eldest knew who to call if something happened to you on the journey that delayed you.

Notso · 30/06/2018 21:32

I would but my DH went mad with me when he found out I'd left our 13 yr old with the 6 and 7 year olds a few months back. I was 15 mins max and DD 18 was on her way back too so 13 year old was in charge for about 8 mins.

Original poster
babysitting283 · 30/06/2018 21:32

Really I wasn't expecting unanimous responses. My youngest is a girl and I have never met anyone more sensible. Eldest is a boy and perhaps typical of many 13 year old boys today can be distracted by electronics, certainly nothing like I would have been when regularly babysitting at 13 or younger so I cant be certain he would make the right judgement but no evidence of this. However he is regularly home alone and takes travels on trains etc alone confidently without concern.

OP posts:
Fluffyrainbows · 30/06/2018 21:34

Another very impressed your child is asleep by 7.30pm! It very much depends on the 13 yr old. I personally wouldn't because it is too young to be responsible for a sibling should something go wrong and I wouldn't leave a teen under 15/16 in charge. But I am very wary. I come from one of those families where if it can go wrong it will.

mumprincess12 · 30/06/2018 21:34

Wouldn't think twice and I'm the most neurotic person around!

(How on earth do you get 8 year old asleep by 7.30pm??)

mumprincess12 · 30/06/2018 21:37

But actually I would also maybe pay him - money you would somehow give him anyway - but so he sees it as a proper responsibility. Good for him too.

BackforGood · 30/06/2018 21:39

Of course you can do that. By far the most sensible course of action.

WidowWadman · 30/06/2018 21:39

At 13 I was babysitting for money
Of course it's ok.

Thebluedog · 30/06/2018 21:41

I think it would very much depend on the children, my youngest is a bugger and constantly doing things she shouldn’t, her and her sister do not get on so I’d not do it. But if they did respect each other and were sensible I would

SamHeughansLeftEyebrow · 30/06/2018 21:46

Ah, the sensible posters are out tonight! I leave my nearly 13 year old and just 8 year old home alone for short periods, and have done for several months.

Last time I asked on here about them being left for 30 minutes so I or DH could go for a run, I got lynched! Accused of neglect and all sorts of child cruelty. I chose to ignore the pearl clutching and do what felt right for us.

Original poster
babysitting283 · 30/06/2018 21:46

My 8 year old does at least 2 sporting clubs a day, often 3 and gives 100% to everything she does all day in lessons to ensure she does her absolute best. Also she races when doing her daily mile each day at school so often manages over 3 miles whilst others walk the mile hence the 12 hours sleep a night. Her fitbit totals show why she sleeps!

13 year old has all our numbers in his phone and in landline and knows which neighbours to approach but would he leave a burning house if he was about to win the highest level game on the xbox??

OP posts:
amicissimma · 30/06/2018 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hoppinggreen · 30/06/2018 21:48

I’m pretty conservative about these things but I leave the 13 year old in charge of the 9 year old for up to an hour occasionally

Original poster
babysitting283 · 30/06/2018 22:02

At 13 I was looking after 4 younger siblings for consecutive whole days so I understand that all children are different. I am sure lots of other girls would feel like your daughter ami I know I would have and am sure my youngest would be the same if she had younger siblings.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 30/06/2018 22:07

I think that's fine. I was baby sitting half the kids in the village at 13.

WonderfulWonders · 30/06/2018 22:09

My 13 year old "babysits" the 8 year old when we go out for an evening.