Talk to me about when your teen lied and it had dire consequences

[Metoodear]

My teen lies all the time and I think we’re coming to the end of the road of what we can do for him

The weekend ended up with him lying about being attacked by a gang when in fact his injuries were self inflicted he even flagged strangers down and told them he had been attacked in order to use their phone because his phone had died que husband jumping in the car with just his boxers on combing the high street looking for him in the middle of the night and me calling the police only to have to cancel a few hours later when we find out he was lying he’s 18

Please say it’s not just my teen their must be other having issues with their teen telling the truth

I used to lie compulsively.

It started as a child, my mother used to be SO disappointed in me for seemingly minor transgressions and SO interested in me when the truth was spiced up.

I remember a key incident when I was 11, I wanted to have a fringe cut and my DM didn't, the stalemate was her saying it will upset your father. (Daddy's girl)
After some weeks of this I got the pinking shears, went into the bathroom and lopped a huge lump of hair off diagonally. Came out and announced to DM my hair got caught in the door and ripped off. And she just said did it dear.

I pretty much made everything up from them on because I could even totally pointless lies. Not to gain or hurt anyone more as a screen and a habit. The interesting thing is I didn't realise I was doing it.

It stopped when I met my DH in my early 20's he was a bit confused and we talked it through.
It took I would say 18 months to stop completely and quite often early on I would be saying something to him and stop half way through start laughing and say that's not actually true.

rosesandflowers1
He’s had counselling but it was unlikely he was being truthful he was giving positive vibes thing is if you don’t know my son very well he can actually be quite convincing he has a skill of making you seem like you missed somthing if you get my drift

his injuries were self inflicted
This is worrying and he needs more support than therapy to address it.

Is he at college/uni/work?
Does he have any friends?

He’s had counselling but it was unlikely he was being truthful he was giving positive vibes thing is if you don’t know my son very well he can actually be quite convincing he has a skill of making you seem like you missed somthing if you get my drift

Hmm.

Perhaps a counsellor very experienced with compulsive liars?

Is you going with him a possibility, or talking to the counsellor beforehand?

I'm sure if you told a counsellor what happened today beforehand, they'd be less susceptible to lying.

bonfireheart

Is he at college/uni/work?
Does he have any friends?

he works PT but recently had to resign over a fraud he was invloved in so now works elsewhere he also has just finished collage and has got himself a really good engineering traineeship

Is you going with him a possibility, or talking to the counsellor beforehand?
i was going with him and had spoke to the councillor however he said if I ask him if he’s being truthful and he says yes I have to believe him and I didn’t want the whole hour taken up by me saying your lying no I am not yes you are

A friend from school who is now 63 is like this. She talked herself into jobs well above her qualifications often she was sacked but not before making a lot of money. She is now self employed in the USA and making a packet. The downside is what it did to her husband now ex. and her only child who she told was a mistake but she decided to see what it was like having a baby, then neglected her at times.