To want to celebrate wedding anniversary on the day

[Needsupporttoday]

Wedding anniversary coming up. Not a landmark one, though. Been a difficult year and dh and I barely get to spend time alone together due to various circumstances. Happily married (usual ups and downs).
I had planned but not booked a mini-break for the wedding anniversary. Dh has said a hobby-related annual party is on the wedding anniversary and he wants to go to that rather than celebrate our wedding anniversary. He suggests celebrating a week later.
Feel quite pushed down the list of priorities but maybe IABU?
Bit of background : it was my birthday today and he wasn't at all keen on doing what I had had in mind. His comment when I said what I would like to do today (out for breakfast, go cycling,watch football and out for dinner) was 'do I have to?'.

So, tell me - AIBU and oversensitive?

"Do I have to?"

He's a dick. I wouldn't celebrate an anniversary with him.

I'd be more upset about the birthday issue than the wedding anniversary. Is he leading on any joint celebration or are you dragg8ng him reluctantly? If so, he is pretty selfish.

YANBU. He should have done the birthday thing. Is there a particular part of it that he hates doing normally (i.e. the cycling)? Even if there was its one day and it sound like you had a lovely one planned.

also agree that the anniversary trumps a group of friends he shares a hobby with.

what's going on with him? I think you need to have it out with him and ask him why he is being so negative and unreasonable about spending time with you and celebrating with you.

YANBU. I wouldn’t mind cerebrating our anniversary on a different day really, but if it’s important to you do so you he should understand that. The birthday comment is really mean though. Birthdays are the one day you get to decide EVERYTHING.

He likes cycling and football so no issue there. He is always so worried about pleasing everyone else but sometimes I would like to move up the list!

LTB genuinely he doesn't seem to be that bothered about you.

YANBU! I'd book a lovely spa day and go by myself

The birthday thing would annoy me more.

Can't you go to the hobby party?

I don't see anything wrong with celebrating your anniversary on a different day.

His birthday is not important to.him but he knows birthdays are important to me

LTB!

No I don't think it's too big of a deal especially if this hobby is a very big part of his life? Would you ever ask for similar if there was another big event that was important to you on the same day as a (not big figure) anniversary?

His 'do I have to' comment is very unreasonable though.

Hobby party is strictly without partners

It is often joked about but this ^^ is the first time I've seen 'book yourself a spa day' genuinely suggested on MN as a solution to a relationship issue

He sounds like he's not very interested in you or your feelings tbh.

What did he want to do instead of your birthday plans?

Will probably have an evening out with friends instead.

He didn't have a counter-suggestion for my birthday birthday but left me feeling decidedly 'unspecial'

Does he do anything that suggests he cares about you at all?

He seems to not be at all bothered.

The anniversary thing, I'm with your dh. If you want to celebrate / treat yourself, then it doesn't really matter which particular day you do it on. If there is something that you can't move the date of, then that gets priority for that day and the thing you can book anytime gets booked on a free night / weekend.

The birthday - which part of the day was he objecting to, f he likes cycling and likes watching football ?